


This Love Will Change You

by wardo_wedidit



Series: Brighter Than The Sun [1]
Category: Social Network (2010)
Genre: Babies, F/M, Kid Fic, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-04
Updated: 2012-06-17
Packaged: 2017-11-22 17:38:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 79,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/612453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wardo_wedidit/pseuds/wardo_wedidit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A baby comes into Eduardo’s life, and with it a second chance at everything he’s lost since the depositions: his friends, Mark, and most of all, the chance to love again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the formatting screwups at the end, this has been crossposted from livejournal. Check the series tag for links to fanmix/notes and etc.

Eduardo’s a busy guy. There are plenty of names he expects to see on his caller ID on a daily basis.

People he works with mostly, because work has basically become his life ever since the Facebook debacle. Get up, go to work, come home, go to sleep. That’s his life now. Rinse, lather, repeat. 

So, needless to say, he’s used to getting strange calls at all hours of the night (or morning) from clients or business partners or his assistant, who still freaks out about things Eduardo mostly considers to be minor crises.  
He’s prepared for any number of names to pop up on that little display screen. 

But Eduardo isn’t prepared for _hers._  
*

Despite the early hour, he picks it up anyway. 

“Eduardo?” she says, and her voice sounds off, different than usual. _Scared._

“Yeah?” he replies groggily, in a tone that he hopes conceals the fact that he just woke up. He glares at the clock on his bedside table, because seriously. Who calls someone at two in the morning. 

“I need to tell you something.”  
*

Her name was Jamie Valencia. She was the last girl Eduardo attempted to date before he realized he should just give up on dating (because no one he dated could get that _curly haired asshole_ out of his head). But they’d made a legitimate effort. They’d been together for a whole year before they both were ready to admit things weren’t really working. It had been an amicable break-up. 

Jamie was kind of like everything Eduardo wished he wanted. 

First of all, she was beautiful. Both her parents had come to the States from Colombia at an early age (his parents would approve that he was involved with someone else of Hispanic heritage), and it showed in her beautiful brown eyes and bronzed skin and dark, raven hair. Thin but still curvy, and dressed to show it off, but still classy. 

And she was intelligent. Like, really fucking _smart._ Not just some girl he could parade around on his arm as some kind of trophy. She had _opinions_ , and she wasn’t afraid to defend them in the slightest. She had frequently engaged with some of his more narrow-minded and old-fashioned clients at functions, and she always held her own. 

She also had a really great sense of humor. A little bit sarcastic at times, but always with good intentions, because she was kind to a tee. Nice to everyone, even to people Eduardo could barely tolerate for fifteen minutes at a business meeting. 

All of these were things he really respected about her. _Respected,_ but not loved. As much as he wished he could. 

It made him a little sick whenever he thought about her, because she was truly a good person, and in another life, he could totally see them ending up together. Getting a house in the suburbs, having two kids, a dog, and even a white picket fence. 

In another life. In a life that hadn’t been completely, irrevocably altered by one Mark Zuckerberg. 

But as it was, he had to live every day knowing he hurt someone he really cared about a hell of a lot. Someone he wanted to be happy with every fiber of his being, but he had to let go because he knew she would never be truly happy with _him._  
*

It had been a month since they’d broken up. What bothered him about it the most was how _understanding_ she was about the whole thing, the same way she always was. She had said she still wanted to be friends, told him to take care of himself, and given him one piece of advice. 

“Eduardo, c’mon. Either love him or get over him.”

Which was, well. Ouch. 

Talk about hitting the nail on the head. 

Anyway. It had only been a month, and Eduardo couldn’t think of any reason for her to be calling him. Especially not sounding so _terrified._ Jamie was one of the bravest people Eduardo knew. So if something was making her freak out, then it had to be something _scary._  
*  
He shook his head in hopes of concentrating. “What is it, Jamie?” he asked, trying to keep his voice sounding cool and collected. 

She inhaled a deep, ragged breath into the receiver. “Two things, actually.”

“Okay, _what?”_

“Which do you want to hear first?”

“Bad news. Always bad news first.”

There was a pause. “They’re both bad news, Eduardo,” she responded humorlessly. 

Well if there was any reason to worry in Eduardo’s book, that was it. 

“Just say it, then.”

“Okay,” she replied, taking another deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”

Eduardo found he actually couldn’t speak. He didn’t quite know what he was expecting, but that certainly wasn’t it. 

He carded his hand through his care and exhaled slowly. “ _Okay_. Okay. Look, it’s gonna be okay, Jamie. It really is. I promise.”

“Don’t start your pep talk yet, Eduardo.”

He started to hold his breath again. “What else?” he said exhaustedly. “What else could possibly top that?”

A longer pause this time. “I’m sick.”  
*

They have lunch together the next day and end up talking for a really long time. She explains the whole thing to him, and tries to tell him that he shouldn’t feel in any way obligated with this. “I mean, my parents are more than willing to take the baby if—when… you know.” Jamie says all of this while staring fixedly at the tablecloth, and twiddles her fork back and forth in her fingers. 

Eduardo has known Jamie long enough that he can tell when she’s feeling nervous. “Jamie,” he says, voice barely above a whisper, and he covers her hand with his own to quiet her anxious fingers. “I’m the father. I don’t want to desert my kid. Of course I’ll be there for the baby.”

Jamie swallows a little and nods, but still refuses to meet his eyes. “Some people suggested an abortion, but… I just. I don’t know. I feel like if I’m going to die, I want to know there’s still a part of me out there in the world… You know? It’s stupid, I guess.”

Eduardo tips her chin up with his finger so she is forced to meet his eyes. He can see the tears in them already, threatening to spill over. He’s never seen Jamie this vulnerable, ever. He just wants to make it better. So he shakes his head. “It’s not,” he replies. “Jamie, it’s not.”

Next thing Eduardo knows Jamie is crying and Eduardo is pulling her close, gently rocking her back and forth as she cries. He kisses her hair gently and murmurs into it, “I want a part of you in the world too.”

It doesn’t make her stop crying, but he can at least feel her smile against his skin. And that is enough for now.  
*

Eduardo’s life changes pretty drastically after that.

Jamie moves in with him, for one. 

She sleeps in the guest bedroom. He had offered to let her sleep with him in the master, but she had laughed. “Eduardo, just because we’re living together doesn’t mean we’re getting back together. Besides, isn’t sleeping in the same room how we got into this mess?”

Eduardo smiles back, a little more subdued, because he doesn’t want to startle her big grin. 

She looks like herself for the first time in a long time. 

“It’s not a mess,” he says anyway, casting his eyes down onto her bedspread. 

He can feel her touch on his shoulder when she replies, voice softer, more solemn. “I know.” 

Eduardo also starts working from home more. 

He had moved out to California because his company had wanted him to be closer to his clientele, and as an app consultant, that’s where most of them were. 

The fact that they had suggested Palo Alto could only be explained by the fact that fate had it out for him. 

But, when it really came down to it, he was just an app consultant. He didn’t really _need_ an office to send emails to clients, and he usually held lunch meetings anyway. He still went into the office at least once a week, if only to check on his assistant and make sure she hadn’t become _totally_ frazzled yet. 

And all of this worked out for the better.

He can be there for Jamie pretty much all the time, completely prepared to get her water and hold her hair back when she has morning sickness, more than willing to run out and get her whatever weird food she was craving (mostly weird fruits combined with melted chocolate. Who eats kiwi covered in chocolate anyway? Or chocolate and starfruit? Eduardo didn’t even know there was such a _thing_ as starfruit.). 

He can also be completely available for doctor’s appointments, which tend to be two-tiered. Half about the baby, half about Jamie, and, as the doctor says, her “unfortunate predicament”. 

Eduardo is so tired of hearing that phrase. 

But Jamie doesn’t really let him know much about the cancer stuff. She tells him to concentrate on the baby stuff, and she can concentrate on the disease. “After all, you’re the one that’s gonna be. You know. There,” she reasons. Eduardo tells her not to talk like that, but Jamie just shrugs. She has always been matter-of-fact. 

One thing hasn’t changed though. Eduardo still has to go to some really tedious, unavoidable work functions.  
*

Eduardo has never been like… _some other people_. He doesn’t mind having to get dressed up in a suit and look nice. It shows off a good image, and he gets that. Besides, he wears formalwear more than most people anyway. Suits are not _that_ uncomfortable. 

What he always _did_ mind had to show up and weather the thing alone.

Eduardo always enjoyed walking around, talking to people, making small talk… networking. But after it was all over, and the speaker or the host or whoever told everyone to take a seat so they could give their spiel, it always sucked having to go sit back down and not have someone to sit through it with. 

But now that changes too. 

Jamie goes with him to the events. She doesn’t seem to mind getting all dressed up either. In fact, she seems to enjoy it, though she complains about the _complete_ lack of selection in formal maternity wear at every chance she gets. 

“Seriously, Eduardo. It’s like people forget that pregnancy is necessary for _life._ You would not believe how little variety there was,” she laments, gathering her hair and pulling it forward so he can zip up the back of her dress. 

He rolls his eyes as he does so, because if he’s heard it once, he’s heard it a million times. She turns around and does a little spin when he’s finished to show him the dress.

It is a classic black, one-shouldered number, with a little bit of ruffle on the bottom. “For all of your complaining, you certainly do you beautiful,” he says, smiling at her. And she does. Sexy, but still classy. Plus, the pregnancy is kind of making her glow, as cliché as that sounds. He can’t believe she’s already 36 weeks along ( _8 months, in laymen’s terms_ , as Jamie would say. So yeah, maybe he’s been reading a couple too many pregnancy and baby books lately and forgets that normal people don’t actually calculate time in weeks). 

She gives him a shy smile back. “Thanks, Eduardo.” 

He wonders a little why they didn’t do this while they were dating.  
*

The event itself is much better than Eduardo anticipated. Having Jamie there seems to make it all more bearable.  
She’s ready to step in when there are awkward pauses in conversation, and together they mock the speaker in whispers and giggles when they are forced to sit down and listen to the speech. 

She even hits it off pretty well with one of Eduardo’s clients, who pulls him aside by the bar later in the evening. 

“So… how did you and Jamie end up together?”

Eduardo does a bit of a double take, because it’s been awhile since they were _together_ together, in that sense, and he’s not used to hearing it. He almost spits out his drink. He doesn’t, thank god. 

“No, no! We’re not, um—together. I mean, well, we were. But, you know. It didn’t. Um. Work out. Or whatever,” he tries to explain. Badly.

“Oh!” the guy (who’s name Eduardo has forgotten completely, which is so unlike him) says, and his face brightens. It clouds over again for a second. “But the—the baby?”

“Mine,” Eduardo clarifies. “But still. We’re not together. She’s out of my league,” he replies, only somewhat joking. 

The guy laughs. “Well, if she’s out of your league, she’s definitely out of mine.” Eduardo smiles and takes a sip of his drink. 

“Eduardo,” he hears from behind him, and his blood seems to stop flowing. 

_It can’t be it can’t be it can’t be_ his brain is saying. He wonders a little bit if he is hallucinating. He turns around to investigate. 

This time he actually _does_ spit out his drink. 

Because it’s _Mark_ standing there. 

The guy Eduardo had been talking to excuses himself and leaves trying very hard to keep from laughing at Eduardo’s reaction. 

“Mark,” he replies, finally, taking a step closer and hoping Mark didn’t actually hear how broken his voice sounded when he said that. If he did, he’ll just blame it on spitting out his drink. “What are you… I didn’t know you would be here.”

Mark nods once, curt, and doesn’t otherwise acknowledge the statement. “Can we talk?” he says, straight to the point as always. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Eduardo hears himself saying, as if from far away. “Of course. What do you want to talk about?”

“Not here,” Mark replies, and casts his eyes around the busy room, searching. They must find something, because before his brain can process what’s happening Mark is grabbing his sleeve and dragging him bodily into what seems to be a conference room. Eduardo emits something that sounds like a squawk in surprise, but he lets Mark lead him in. He _physically cannot_ do anything else. His brain can’t even keep up.

“Okay,” Mark says when they get in, and shuts the door behind them. He lets go of Eduardo’s arm too, but Eduardo can still practically feel it tingling through the fabric of his suit, even though logically that doesn’t make any sense. “Okay,” Mark repeats, like he’s trying to gather his thoughts or something. 

Eduardo waits. He doesn’t know what he can say to make Mark spit whatever it is out, but he kind of doesn’t want to. If only because he hasn’t been around Mark for a _really_ long time, and he’s kind of just taking it all in. 

Mark looks good. He looks _really_ good. Better than he did at the depositions and better than he did at Harvard when he would surface from 48 straight hours of coding and Eduardo just can’t stop staring, even though he knows that’s weird. He doesn’t really care. The saying _sight for sore eyes_ flashes through his brain lightning-fast, and Eduardo figures part of that is probably right. He hasn’t seen Mark in _years_ , so of course he thinks Mark looks great. He probably looks the same as he always did, Eduardo just hasn’t seen him lately. 

(But he looks so _good_ though.)

“I have to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

Mark closes his eyes and then opens them again, and exhales. “I’m sorry.”

Eduardo can’t even open his mouth. Because that was _not_ what he was expecting at all. He finally manages to breathe “ _What?”_

“Wait, just listen. Don’t say anything. Otherwise I won’t be able to get this all out.”

Eduardo tries to compose his face into something that doesn’t display quite as much shock, and nods to indicate for Mark to continue and that the understands. 

“Eduardo, I’m sorry. I’m really, really fucking _sorry_ for what happened. It was… It was awful. I did it because I thought you didn’t want to be a part of Facebook anymore. You didn’t come out here, and you were going back to Harvard, and this little voice in my head just kept saying _of course he doesn’t want in, he has economics and business and internships and it was silly of you to think he ever wanted to do this with you_ and eventually I couldn’t block it out anymore. I mean, that doesn’t excuse—by like, _any_ means—what happened, that’s just. It’s just _why._ And I thought… I dunno. I thought you might want to know. You probably don’t, you’ve probably moved on, because you were always better at that than me, but _Wardo._ I don’t want things to be how they’ve been. I don’t want to not _know_ you anymore. From the moment I signed those papers until two minutes ago when I saw you my life has been _miserable,_ and I have to believe it’s because you haven’t been in it. I want my best friend back.” 

Mark’s voice cracks a little as he says _best friend,_ and for a moment, Eduardo has forgotten how to breathe. There are so many things in what Mark has just said that Eduardo’s brain seems to be short-circuiting just a little bit. 

Because.

Mark said he was _sorry. Twice._ And Eduardo can count on one hand in their years at Harvard when Mark actually apologized to someone. _And_ he explained himself. Mark doesn’t explain things to anyone. His usual outlook on life was that if someone just didn’t automatically understand his thoughts or his actions, they weren’t worth explaining it to. 

He thought Eduardo didn’t want to be a part of Facebook with Mark. That doesn’t even compute for Eduardo. _How in the world could he possibly think that?_ There were times Eduardo thought he was lacking so much subtlety that people who lived on other _planets_ could see how much he cared about Mark. 

But mostly. 

_Mostly_. 

His brain was just replaying the way Mark had said _Wardo_ over and over and over again in his head.

No one else had ever called him Wardo. 

Ever _._

(Well, Chris and Dustin did a lot, at Harvard, but Mark came up with the nickname and even when the others said it, it never quite sounded the same to Eduardo’s ears. There was just something about Mark’s tone and inflection and… Anyway. Eduardo doesn’t count them.) 

So he hasn’t heard it since… Since Mark told him he _had to_ come back for the millionth member party. And that’s a long time.

His brain has missed hearing it.

It takes Eduardo a couple minutes to realize he’s basically been standing there slack-jawed for about a minute, eyes wide like he doesn’t even know what to think. And Mark is looking more and more nervous by the minute. 

“Mark,” he says, measuring his words carefully. “Mark…”

Then he thinks about it for another moment. He was going jump right in and say _yes, let’s do this, let’s give this friendship another shot._ But then he thinks of Jamie and _love him or get over him_ and he realizes another friendship with Mark is the last thing he wants. He wants so much _more._ He always had. He thinks of meeting Mark for the first time at AEPi and being absolutely in awe of how interesting he was, he thinks of checking Mark’s blog and seeing that he had broken up with Erica and thinking _this is it_ and _I need you_ and _I’m here for you_ , he thinks of smiling out at him as he shook that intern’s hand and everything in between. 

“Mark, I want you back in my life too. I really, really do.”

He meets Mark’s eyes and the emotion he sees there more than anything else is relief. He can’t even express how happy that makes him. 

“But Mark, I can’t—”

“ _Eduardo!”_

His mind registers the fact that it’s Jamie, of course, but with everything else he’s had to think about and process tonight he can’t really reconcile the panicked tone coming out in her voice. He turns around, and sees her standing there at the entrance to the room, doubled over and a terrified look on her face. That guy that had been so into her earlier is standing next to her, and she’s clutching his arm for support and he looks kind of like a pale shade of green. And still Eduardo’s head can’t put the pieces together. 

“Eduardo, my water… My water broke!”

_Shit._

“ _What?”_ he squeals, because _what the hell._ “But you’re only at 36 weeks; you’re not due for _another four weeks Jamie—”_

“I know, I know, I know, but apparently that doesn’t matter, it’s happening like _now!”_

“Oh my god, oh my god, okay…” Eduardo repeats over to himself, trying to make all the nerves in his body calm down. He cards his hands through his hair and over his face and tries to exhale, but it comes out shaky. _This is really happening._ He turns to the guy, who is still looking like he might be sick. “Can you take her out to the car?” he asks, and if his voice sounds a little bit pleading, so be it. He approaches them and the guy nods, and that’s what matters anyway. “Here are the keys; I’ll be right there. _Jamie, listen to me._ ” She looks up at he holds her face in his hands. “ _I’ll be right there._ _We can do this._ Okay?” Jamie nods back at him with wide eyes, which she then squeezed shut as a contraction hit her. Eduardo helps them to the door and then breathes deep breaths, in and out, in and out. 

It’s only then that he looks up and remembers that Mark is still there. 

Mark is so pale. Like he’s seen a ghost. And he’s visibly shaking. 

Eduardo feels like everything about him is kind of falling apart and there’s just no way he can stop it. 

“Mark,” he says, and the word comes out desperate. “Listen. It’s not what it looks like, I promise. Here, just.” He grabs for Mark’s hand and pulls a pen out of his pocket. “This is my phone number. Call me. Please, please, promise you’ll call me. I can explain everything.” 

Mark nods kind of numbly, and his eyes seem a little bit unfocused as he watches Eduardo write on his hand with a felt tip pen. 

“Hey,” Eduardo repeats again, locking eyes with Mark. “Promise me.”

Mark repeats, “I promise,” back to Eduardo, but it sounds kind of like it’s coming out on autopilot. His eyes are still searching Eduardo’s face frantically like he’s still looking for something that will give him the answer. 

Eduardo sighs and looks away. He still hasn’t let go of Mark’s hand. “You have to believe that this isn’t how I wanted things to go. At all,” Eduardo admits a little bit brokenly, chancing a look up at Mark with a small smile. Mark looks back at him a little lost, but nods again. It’s not what Eduardo wants, but he’ll have to take it for now. He gives Mark’s hand a squeeze. 

“I have to go. Jamie—I have to go. _Call me_ ,” he says again, and then runs out to the parking lot, leaving a dazed Mark behind him.  
*

The whole way through, Jamie remains the perfect pregnant woman. She doesn’t get angry or irrational or freak out at Eduardo. She doesn’t complain about anything. She seems to be using an immense amount of self-control. 

Eduardo is another story.

The whole process is kind of a blur for him. The nurses make fun of him for being the typical “nervous dad”, always asking Jamie if she needs more ice chips and if she’s doing okay and breathing with her and running through his hands through his hair, making it look even more ridiculous. Jamie tolerates all of it; at times it even looks like she’s trying really hard not to let him see her smile at him when he’s freaking out. 

He finally can’t take it anymore when the doctor says, “The baby’s coming! It’s time to push!” and Eduardo goes as white as a sheet. One of the nurses notices and pulls him aside, telling him that it’s probably best if he goes outside for some air. 

“I can’t, I need to be here, I can’t leave Jamie…” he explains somewhat hysterically. 

“I’m fine, Eduardo!” she says, waving from the bed, though it cuts her off as she starts to push again and is forced to grit her teeth. 

Eduardo is torn, but he steps outside the door. And paces back in forth for about twenty minutes, until the nurse comes out and taps him on the shoulder. “It’s almost time, daddy,” with a smile. 

_Daddy._

_This is really happening._

The nurse ushers him in and he goes to stand beside Jamie. She makes grabby motions for his hand, which he gives to her. She squeezes his fingers so hard he thinks they might break, but nothing more than a whimper escapes her mouth. 

Suddenly a high-pitched cry breaks the chaos, and the doctor is saying, “It’s a boy!” Jamie is glowing up at him, but all he can do is marvel at the baby— _their_ baby—as the nurses check for eyesight, hearing, and clean him up. 

The nurses set the baby down on Jamie’s chest and Eduardo gently squeezes her hand. She looks like the emotion is too much as she cradles him; torn between being intensely happy and so moved that she doesn’t quite know what to feel. Eduardo can relate, just looking at his _son_ is making him feel more than a little light-headed. He is struck by just how beautiful he is, even though he knows that he’s not like a _cute_ baby yet (cute is kind of a lot to expect after the whole labor process, which even though it was mostly a blur for Eduardo is still fairly sickening). 

But anyway. That doesn’t matter, because Eduardo doesn’t care, he still thinks his son is probably one of the most breathtaking things on the face of the planet. Eduardo never thought he’d have kids, let alone a child who was perfect in every way he can think of: ten perfect little fingers and toes, two flawless eyes, a nose not unlike his own in shape. He can also see a little bit of Jamie in the baby, especially in his cheekbones, and thinks that he can’t wait to tell his son that someday. 

Jamie sees his expression and smiles up at him. “D’you want to hold him?”

Eduardo nods on autopilot, still awed by the tiny little human in from of him. He does it just like the books told him to: support the head, hold the baby close to your body, runs through it all in a mental checklist in his head. Jamie giggles a little as she looks at the two of them together. 

“Have the two of you thought of a name?” the nurse asks, as if from far away. 

He balks at Jamie, because he knows they definitely have a list, but all the names seemed to have immediately slipped his mind. Her eyes twinkle a little at this, like she knows how he feels. “Eduardo… We decided on Hayden, remember?”

Eduardo smiles back, a little embarrassed and murmurs, “Yeah, yeah…” And then something comes back to him. “And the middle name is James. After his mom.” 

He can’t make eye contact with Jamie. He hopes she likes it. It had been on his mind for a while. James for a boy, middle name Jamie for a girl. Instead he pats down the baby’s— _Hayden’s_ —hair (he has one unruly curl that sticks up in the back, Eduardo just can’t believe he has hair already). When he feels like he has avoided her gaze long enough, he meets her eyes. 

Jamie has one hand over her heart and tears in her eyes threatening to spill over. _Thank you_ , she mouths, and Eduardo nods back at her with a smile.  
*

Hayden is perfectly happy and healthy, despite being as early as he is. The doctor tells them over and over how lucky they are, that most premies aren’t fully developed when they are delivered, but Hayden seems to be the exception to the rule. 

Eduardo divides his time between staring at Hayden through the glass in the nursery and splitting the bed with Jamie as they hold Hayden together. 

Hayden (Eduardo just can’t say his name enough out loud, or even _think_ it) is perfect. Eduardo can’t stop counting his fingers and toes, and smoothing a finger over his soft skin, and even when he’s not actually in contact with him, he’s always smiling and waving at him. Jamie just keeps murmuring “My baby boy, my beautiful baby boy” to him, and it makes Eduardo’s heart ache a little bit every time he hears it, because he knows why. 

Shortly after the delivery, when Hayden is in the nursery (because the nurses _insist_ it is necessary, if he and Jamie had their way he wouldn’t ever leave their sight), Jamie explains it to him, offhand, just as matter of fact as she always does. 

“I don’t want him to forget me,” she whispers. “I think maybe if I talk to him enough, he’ll remember it… Or something. I don’t know.”

Eduardo doesn’t respond. He gets it, and he knows how Jamie writes herself off when she’s insecure. He doesn’t have any more words to reassure her and tell her how wonderful she is, because doesn’t think she’ll ever believe it. So instead he just kisses her forehead and holds her a little closer. 

Jamie smiles at him a little bit self-consciously and rolls her eyes. And then she laughs. “How fucked up is it that we actually work better when we’re not together?”

Eduardo’s sad expression turns into a full-out grin. “Kind of a lot.” 

Jamie nods in agreement. “But you always had Mark,” she says, not unkindly, and Eduardo can’t help but think how much they have both changed that she can be so _comfortable_ talking with him about it. He really likes that. 

Then her face lights up in an instant and she remembers. “Wait a minute! You were talking to him when my water broke!”

Eduardo cringes and covers his face with his hands. He had been focusing on other things for what seemed like such a long amount of time that he hadn’t even had any time to overanalyze or worry, and while he is usually a pretty laid-back person, Mark has always brought out the other side of him.

Jamie echoes his thoughts. “There was so much going on I forgot to ask you! Bet you thought you’d get away with it, didn’t you?” She giggles, and for a second Eduardo’s mind flashes back to when they were first together, when she was this happy most of the time. 

Eduardo sighs, but it is entirely half-hearted as there is definitely an accompanying smile. “I was hoping.” 

“Well, you thought wrong, Eduardo. _Spill._ ” Her tone brooks no argument.

He really honestly doesn’t want to think about Mark, doesn’t want to think about it at all. But he can’t think of the last time he saw her this _giddy_ about something when Hayden wasn’t in the room, and, well. That’s a damn long time. He cannot deny her this. 

So he tells her.

Jamie is a captive audience, and by the end of it Eduardo starts to think that she and Dustin may have been a better couple than her and Eduardo if they’ve ever gotten the chance, because her level of enthusiasm can only be described as Dustin-esque. She has all the right reactions: surprise, conflict, sympathy. 

When he’s finished telling it, she asks if Mark’s called. Eduardo knows he hasn’t, and he tells her as much. “I dunno if he will,” he finally admits, casting his eyes down at his feet, tangled up with Jamie’s at the foot of the bed. “It must be kind of shocking, to tell your ex-best friend you want them back in your life and before they can even respond you’re being confronted with the knowledge that they’re about to be a _father._ Like, some things just kind of hit you: that this person has a whole other life you don’t even know about now. I mean, there was a time when we thought we were always going to know _everything_ about each other. Well. At least there was for me. However naïve that is.” 

Eduardo realizes he is speaking more for himself than he is for Mark now, but he has experienced that feeling more than enough to know that must be what Mark’s struggling with. It happens to him every time he goes online and sees some story about Mark: Mark meeting the president, Mark giving some speech somewhere, seeing Mark’s face plastered everywhere on the cover of _TIME_ magazine. 

Jamie nods along, completely understanding. “That makes sense,” she admits. “But he will call, Eduardo. I just _know_ he will. You don’t go and make this big speech about how much you miss someone and that you want them back in your life and then _walk away._ You just don’t.” 

Eduardo smiles doubtfully, and tries his hardest to believe her.  
*

Nothing in the world will cause Eduardo to stop believing that for some reason, the universe has it out for him. _Nothing._

Because every moment he catches himself being too happy, every time there is an _I need my CFO_ or a _D’you want to hold him?_ , there is a moment like this. 

Where everything comes crashing down.

Because a couple hours after his conversation with Jamie, he is going down to the cafeteria to grab some food, but her doctor catches him on his way out and asks if he could talk to the two of them. 

Eduardo says “of course” and follows him back up to the room Jamie is in. She’s currently feeding Hayden, and she smiles and says hello when they both walk in, though when the doctor is turned around, she shoots a confused look at Eduardo, who can only shrug back. The doctor gestures to the chair at her bedside, which Eduardo takes, even though he would usually have just sat on the hospital bed with Jamie, he has the feeling that this is something serious. 

As soon as everyone is settled, the doctor begins. “I have some bad news.” 

And then they both know where this is going.

He lays it all out plainly, explains that Jamie’s body was essentially having to fight two battles: one to give labor and the battle against the cancer, and it could only really fight one at a time. Her body chose to work on the delivery, which was good, the right choice, what they wanted. But, according to the tests they’d taken, labor had taken a lot out of her and they weren’t sure her body _could_ go back to fighting the cancer now. 

Jamie doesn’t say anything. Eduardo asks the doctor all kinds of questions, anything that pops into his head that’s related about what this means and what’s going to happen, because the more the doctor is talking the less he has to face the actual _news._

When his brain has run out of things to say, he casts his eyes to Jamie. She is refusing to look up, instead concentrating fiercely on Hayden. She is holding out her pinkie in front of his face, and he grabs it with his tiny little forefinger, so small it can’t even wrap around hers. The sight breaks Eduardo’s heart.

“As of right now, we don’t feel comfortable letting Jamie leave the hospital. We’re going to move her upstairs and give her a permanent room. But, you should definitely take Hayden home. He’s doing perfectly fine,” the doctor continues. He is probably expecting to be met with some kind of acknowledgment, but instead he receives silence. 

He finally picks up on the mood in the room after another minute of standing there uselessly, and mutters something quickly about giving them both a moment. Eduardo and Jamie both continue to sit in stunned silence, and Eduardo counts the tiles on the floor. 

Eduardo hears her emit a little gasp, and he looks up and realizes that Jamie is crying silently. “Sweetie, no, no, no…” he murmurs, and is immediately by her side, curled up around her on the hospital bed that is probably too small for both of them. He doesn’t care, though, he _can’t_ care, because Jamie is crying and her outlook isn’t good and nobody knows how much longer she’s going to have with her son. The situation is just so horrible all around that it makes him _sick._

What makes him the angriest is that there’s nothing he can _do,_ except comfort Jamie and tell her everything’s going to be alright, even though he’s not sure that it is. 

So he lets her wail into his shirt, cry her eyes out, and clutch Hayden close to her.  
*  
Eduardo finds his life changing drastically yet _again_. 

Jamie calls her parents almost immediately and explains everything to them. They book the next flight to SFO. 

Mr. and Mrs. Valencia, Eduardo, and Hayden all spend nine to five every day for basically the next three months at the hospital, even though Jamie protests and tells them all millions of times that they don’t _have_ to. But Eduardo doesn’t even consider any other options; he wants her to have as much time with Hayden as she possibly can _while_ she still can. Her parents obviously want to be with her as much as they can as well, and they tolerate none of her protests either.

They stay at Eduardo’s place, which honestly turns out to be _such_ a blessing since he always has two extra sets of hands to help out with Hayden. 

Hayden is pretty much the only thing that can make Eduardo truly grin anymore. He doesn’t quite know how his life went from a bunch of little things to revolving around one big thing twenty-four seven, but he couldn’t be any happier it did. 

Eduardo never really wanted to be a dad before. He found babies kind of frustrating, because they always cried when some idiot thrust their kid into his arms, and then he would just hold it kind of helplessly until the parent took pity on him and came back. 

With Hayden, it was never like that. 

He never felt the least bit uncomfortable. Holding Hayden is like the most natural thing in the world. At times he wonders if he’s going to become an overprotective parent, because whenever he goes places, random women in the stores go all googly-eyed over Hayden and want to hold him and pinch his cheeks or whatever, it freaks Eduardo out a little bit when he lets him go, even though he knows it’s just for a second. Jamie tries to tell him that it’s completely natural, all the books say so, and Eduardo knows that. He’s read all the books multiple times, or at least it seems like it. But still. He worries. 

Also, Eduardo gets excited over every little thing Hayden does. He gurgles and grabs Eduardo’s finger and makes twinkly eyes at Jamie and Eduardo never stops making big, overly dramatic, astonished eyes at him and grinning playfully, and usually ends up cooing miscellaneous phrases at him about how adorable he is and how much he loves him. Jamie rolls her eyes at him a lot of the time, though she does it fondly, saying, “ _You_ said that we weren’t ever going to do baby talk, Eduardo.” Eduardo usually just rolls his eyes back and continues to lavish attention on his son. 

The nurses who helped Jamie deliver stop in and see them all together quite frequently, and they all agree with Eduardo that Hayden definitely ranks in the world’s cutest babies. (Jamie tells Eduardo it was a leading question, but Eduardo just dismisses her with a laugh.) 

“It’s so good to see you all doing so well!” they always say (Eduardo knows that it’s meant about the three of them, they’re little unit of a family, but it still hurts because it a reminder that Jamie is not). And then they’ll tell Jamie’s parents, always, no matter how many times they’ve said it before, “Jamie and Hayden were one of the best deliveries we’ve ever had. She didn’t scream, didn’t get angry, didn’t cry. _Perfect.”_ Eduardo can’t help but feel proud, even though Jamie just blushes and says that they probably say that to everyone. 

Eduardo is curious about it though. He had been completely prepared to a really ugly ordeal during the delivery, and understandably so. The way he looks at it, it was a messy, complicated, painful situation, so the mother had every right to lash out however she wanted to. 

He asks Jamie about it during a quiet moment, when Jamie’s parents have stepped out for a little bit and it’s just the three of them curled up together on the hospital bed, holding Hayden between them. 

Jamie smirks a little bit. “It’s dumb. I kind of had it in my mind that since this was the only chance I was going to get to do this—the whole having a kid thing—I wanted it to be _just right._ And peaceful. For the baby. Like, there’s so little I can give him, because of the whole. You know. _Unfortunate predicament_ ,” she says, looking up at Eduardo teasingly. He snorts. “Anyway. I wanted to be able to give him that.”

Eduardo is struck once again at how utterly amazing Jamie is, and he tells her as much. She kisses his cheek in response. 

She seems so _herself_ most days that to Eduardo the concept of cancer seems very far away. It’s only on the off days, when she is pale as a ghost with dark circles under her eyes that Eduardo remembers exactly what power the _unfortunate predicament_ has. On these days, it is all she can do to smile at him and Hayden; she doesn’t even have the strength to hold him. Which of course, makes Hayden whimper and cry, and Eduardo feels so damn _guilty_ because Jamie just looks so torn. 

Still, no matter if it’s a good day or a bad day, their visits always start with a question from Jamie. “Did he call?”

Eduardo always has to shake his head. 

He makes a conscious effort not to think about Mark most of the time (and fails at this task, if he’s honest with himself). But the reminders are still like a pang in his heart, because he can’t understand _why_ Mark hasn’t called him. Well, he understands it, the whole being scared away by a possible baby and girlfriend thing (he only works it out later that Mark probably inferred that Jamie was his girlfriend, or worse, his _wife_ , which makes Eduardo groan because that’s the last thing he wants Mark to think), but he doesn’t understand why he doesn’t at least give Eduardo a chance to explain. 

Eduardo thinks of Mark pretty much constantly unless he’s with Hayden. In little things, whenever anyone references Facebook, even in passing (which is to be expected), whenever he sees someone wearing a hoodie, whenever he sees someone with even slightly curly hair. Sometimes Hayden will do something and Eduardo can’t help but wonder to himself what _Mark_ would think of the baby. Would he be awkward with Hayden, or would he find him as completely endearing and charming as Eduardo does? 

The only hope he allows himself is when he thinks of the way Mark locked eyes with him when Eduardo made him _promise_ to call. Eduardo just has this feeling in his _gut_ that Mark meant it. Though, after three months, even that is starting to disappear

But of course, the universe hates Eduardo.

It really, truly does. 

Because the day Mark shows up in his life again is the _one_ day Eduardo wasn’t expecting anything.


	2. Chapter 2

Since the second Eduardo wakes up that morning, he knows it’s going to be one of those days. 

He had gotten a call in the middle of the night because his assistant was having a minor breakdown about one of their big accounts, and it takes about half an hour to talk her down. 

Just as he’s crawling back into bed, Hayden starts screaming bloody murder over the baby monitor. He seems to be confused about day and night lately; he makes his best effort to be up as much of the night as he can and sleep as much of the day away as possible, so Eduardo doesn’t think much of it. Eduardo crawls out of bed yet again to go soothe him and tries all the usual tricks. He sings _Twinkle Twinkle_ , he rocks him, he heats up a bottle to try and feed him, but nothing works. The best he can do is lay down in his bed with Hayden on his chest which reduces Hayden to whimpering instead of all out wailing.  
*  
Then it’s seven o’clock and his alarm is going off, and it feels like he hasn’t gotten a chance to close his eyes at all. He groans and goes to get the two of them dressed. Hayden just keeps _crying_ and he really doesn’t know what to do. He would asks either of Jamie’s parents for advice, but they’ve driven out to pick up Jamie’s older sister and her husband in Seattle, so Eduardo’s on his own. 

Nine o’clock arrives quickly (after a battle trying to get Hayden to eat, which is mostly unsuccessful, and another call from his assistant, who is still not back to functioning levels of normal, and another failed attempt to get Hayden to sleep), and visiting hours at the hospital start. He really wants to go see Jamie in the hospital because he feels like she would know what to do, but whenever Hayden is fussy at the hospital there’s always one nurse that glares at him and hisses at Eduardo about disturbing the patients. The last time it happened, Jamie just rolled her eyes at the nurse and Jamie’s roommate Claire whispered, “That bitch” as the nurse left the room. Then all three of them dissolved into giggles, but Eduardo still feels a little guilty.  
The other downside is that as much as he wants Jamie to see Hayden whenever she can, she doesn’t want to burden her. He knows that she will do all she can to get Hayden to calm down, and she needs to rest. 

He compromises with himself. He’ll call the hospital and ask how she’s doing today before he goes over. That seems reasonable. 

So he dials, and groans internally when the same nasty nurse picks up. “Hi Martha, this is Eduardo. I was wondering how Jamie’s doing today?”

“Well, Mr. Saverin,” she begins in her usual clipped tone. “Jamie could really use a break. Having the two of you here yesterday wore her out, to be quite honest. She’s not feeling especially well today and I think it would be best if you didn’t come in.”

Hayden continues to bawl at maximum volume, and Eduardo feels like joining him as he bounces Hayden up and down futilely in hopes that he’ll quiet down. “Okay, thanks Martha, can you just tell her we’ll be in tomorrow and to get lots of rest and feel better--”

“Goodbye, Mr. Saverin,” she cuts him off. Eduardo pulls the phone away from his ear and makes a noise of disgust at it, and then tosses it onto the couch. 

“Claire’s right, Hayden,” Eduardo whispers as he kisses him on the tip of the head. “That woman is a…witch.” Hayden sniffles in response. “She hung up on us, you know that buddy? What do you have to say to that?” Hayden lets out a whimper without much effort. 

“I agree,” Eduardo murmurs back, and then allows himself about thirty seconds to wonder if he’s lost his grip on sanity. He finally resolves not to think about it anymore as just contemplating it will probably make him insane if he isn’t already there. 

Eduardo can’t win. He tries everything to get Hayden to lighten up, but to no avail. He starts to worry after four hours without a break in tears, and so he gets out all the parenting books. He can’t even tell if his worry is justified or not, since Jamie is usually the one to tell him when he’s freaking out too much, and she’s not here. 

He knows that they probably both look like a mess. Hayden has gone red in the face from all the crying, Eduardo’s hair is sticking up at odd angles as he holds Hayden in one arm and rifles through all the baby books with the other. He finally calls Mrs. Valencia, even though it feels like admitting defeat. 

“You should definitely take his temperature, sweetie,” she advises. 

“I tried it, but I think the thermometer was malfunctioning, because on Hayden it said 92 degrees and then so I tested it on myself and it said 105, which is just not right. And not helpful at all because now I have _no_ idea what Hayden’s temperature is,” Eduardo explains, trying not to whine too much, but sounding more and more desperate by the minute. He feels _so_ far out of his depth.

Her tone is sympathetic. “Don’t worry, Eduardo. Just feel his forehead. and if he feels warm to you than take him to the doctor. It’s gonna be okay. I just feel bad we can’t be there to help, dear.” 

“No, no it’s okay, we’ll be fine, just… Wait a minute, the doctor’s office won’t be open, it’s a Sunday, _shit_ , I’m going to have to take Hayden the emergency room. What am I going to do, there are _sick_ people there, what if he catches something--”

Mrs. Valencia sounds like she’s making a very valiant effort to keep the laughter out of her tone. “There would have been sick people at the doctor’s office too, but yes, you will.” 

“Okay, alright. It’s fine; I’ll call you from the doctor’s office. Or the next time I don’t know what to do. Which is probably going to be soon.”

She laughs a little, but not in a mean way, it’s a very reassuring laugh. “Sweetie, I’m sure you’ll be fine. But feel free to call us if you need anything. Seriously, _anything._ Keep breathing, promise?” 

Eduardo exhales. “I promise. Thank you so much, Mrs. Valencia.”  
*  
He allows himself no more than two minutes to take a deep breath, and then buckles down and gets to it. He feels Hayden’s forehead, which seems a little warm to him, but he’s hesitant because _he hasn’t done this before_ , he doesn’t know if he’s just overreacting as usual. He finally decides that better safe than sorry is the way to go, and starts gathering stuff for the doctor’s office: diaper bag, wallet, Hayden’s favorite toy, bottle and snacks, car keys…

Car keys. _Car keys_. What can’t he find his goddamn car keys?

It hits him like a ton of bricks. He let the Valenicas borrow his car to go pick up Jamie’s sister. He has absolutely no way of getting Hayden to the doctor. 

Eduardo practically wilts upon the realization. He feels like crying, he really does. Because this day could not get any worse. 

But he can’t just _sit there_ and do nothing, so he does the only thing he can think of. 

He calls the most sensible person he knows, his only for-sure _friend_ in Palo Alto, the only person he’s still in regular contact with from college. He calls Chris. 

The first time Eduardo calls, it rings five times but Chris doesn’t pick up. Eduardo does _not_ leave a message at the tone as suggested, he simply hangs up and tries again. And again. On the fourth call, Chris picks up. 

“Hey, Eduardo,” he says, sounding more than a little stressed. “Look, now’s really not a good time--”

“I know, Chris, I know, I just really need your help. I don’t know what to do, I wouldn’t have called you if I had any other options, I’m so sorry--”

Chris is one of the nicest people Eduardo knows, but even he has a limit to how much politeness and apologizes he can take. “It’s fine Eduardo, just… What’s so important?”

Eduardo exhales. “Hayden is sick.”

There is a moment’s pause, and Eduardo swears he can practically _hear_ the wheels turning in Chris’ head as he tries to put the pieces together. “Hayden? Who’s Hayden—oh. _Oh.”_

Guess it must have clicked. 

“Your baby’s name is Hayden?”

Eduardo is very thankful that Mark shared the details of their encounter so that he doesn’t have to explain from square one. “Yes,” he confirms. “And he’s sick, I think, and long story short I let someone borrow my car today and so I have no way to take him to the doctor, and I was wondering if you could maybe… give me a ride?”

Again, he is met with silence on the other side of the line. Chris is still processing. “Eduardo, you have a _son_ …” he says in awe. 

This makes Eduardo relax a little bit, because _yes,_ he has a son and he wants everyone to know it because his son is the best thing in the entire world. This was never something Eduardo had imagined doing, telling his friends that he was a dad, and he can feel himself getting a little misty. “Yeah,” he admits. “Yeah, I do.” He can’t fight his smile, and he looks down at Hayden, who is still moaning a little bit and sniffling and rubbing at his eyes, but is still the most beautiful thing on the face of the planet if Eduardo has any say in the matter. “Can you help us?”

Chris lets out a breath. “Yeah. Yes. I can take you. Just… hold on..” Eduardo casts his eyes skyward and says a silent thank you to the heavens, because for once the fates aren’t _totally_ screwing him over. When he tunes back in, Chris must be shifting away from wherever he is now, because some of the chatter in the background quiets. “I’m not very far away, but I’m out and I’m _with_ someone at the moment--”

Eduardo sighs with just a little bit of an edge to it. “Chris, I don’t care. It’s fine, as long as you get us to the emergency room. Just bring your date--”

Chris makes a sound like he’s choking on his own tongue—

“And we’re all just go to the emergency room together and then as soon as we’re done you both can leave, I promise.” 

Chris is still sputtering, and Eduardo doesn’t really have _time_ to deal with this right now, so he promises Chris he’ll text him his address and hangs up.  
*

He spends the twenty minute wait sitting on the sofa holding Hayden, stroking his hair and murmuring little things like _it’s okay, Daddy loves you, it’s okay_ with closed eyes while Hayden tries to work up the energy to emit a full-out cry instead of a pathetic whine. Eduardo feels like he’s running on empty, which makes sense considering the amount of sleep he got last night. 

Just as they both start to doze off, the doorbell rings and Eduardo swears under his breath. Then he gasps, because he tries not to swear in front of Hayden (even though Jamie says that’s silly) and plants a kiss on the top of his head and snuggles him deeper into the blanket before jumping up to get the door. He hurries over as quickly as he can, and swings it open to see Chris—

And Mark. 

Eduardo can’t move, he can’t even breathe. He knows he probably looks like a deer in the headlights, but the sleep deprivation isn’t holding him hostage from doing anything about it. 

On the other hand, it _does_ make sense now: Chris not picking up his phone and saying it was a bad time, Chris saying he was _with_ someone, Chris making dying sounds when Eduardo said the word _date_ … 

How did he not put that together? Again, another thing to blame on the lack of sleep he’s been getting. 

“Hey,” he finally manages, which is like, the most cop-out greeting he’s ever heard in his life, but whatever. 

Mark looks up at him, and their eyes lock. It feels like they’re magnets, the connection between them isn’t visible but it’s so powerful that he can’t look away. 

“Wardo,” Mark responds without breaking eye contact, and he looks… Eduardo can’t put his finger on it, he can’t tell if it’s guilt or shame or anxiety or what. Scared? Hopeful? Eduardo spent so many years thinking he could read Mark perfectly, and after finding out he couldn’t, that he had misread everything when it mattered most, he’s almost afraid to try. He just settles for that thought that Mark does not look _comfortable_ in any sense of the word. 

Eduardo just concentrates very hard not to go limp upon hearing the old nickname again. He doesn’t know _what it is_ about when Mark says it that makes him that way, but it does. He figures it’s just because he’s not hearing it every day before. It had been _years_ since he heard it last, and now it’s been three months… 

Chris chooses this moment to clear his throat audibly, and when neither Mark nor Eduardo react he leans forward and snaps his fingers in their field of vision, and they both flinch a little before they turn to face Chris. “Hello? I thought we had a sick baby to get to the emergency room. That seems a _little_ more pressing than staring at each other like emotionally stunted idiots.”

Mark gapes at Chris, because it is surprising that Chris (head of PR Chris, the king of tact) would say something so blunt, but Eduardo is too intent on trying not to blush (mostly failing, but whatever). Chris shrugs and heads into the house, and Mark and Eduardo only have about ten seconds of avoiding each other’s eyes in awkwardness before they follow. 

Eduardo leads them into the living room, where Hayden, very drowsy but still without a wink of sleep, is sniveling a little. Eduardo picks him up and readjusts the blanket around him. “Mark, Chris… this is Hayden. Look Hayden,” he says in a more animated voice and pointing to accompany his words, “It’s Uncle Chris and Uncle Mark.”

Hayden gives a little bit of a moan, buries his face in Eduardo’s neck and sighs. 

Chris fucking _melts._

“Oh my god Eduardo, he’s so cute! How old is he?!” Chris steps closer and strokes Hayden’s cheek gently with a finger. 

“Three months,” Really, Eduardo can’t be blamed for his huge grin, though it’s still hard to believe Hayden ( _Hayden_ , his tiny little Hayden) is _three months old._ Furthermore, Eduardo still feels like a brand new dad, totally out of his league. “Wanna hold him?”

The reaction is priceless, Chris gets this soft happy face and nods up and down so fast Eduardo is reminded of a bobblehead (or Dustin) and reaches for Hayden. Hayden makes a small noise of protest at the switch, but then his heavy eyelids win the battle and he snuggles up to Chris. Chris beams, but Eduardo can still tell he’s a little nervous, because when he speaks again it’s in whispers, like he’s worried about disturbing Hayden. “He’s not afraid of strangers?”

Eduardo shakes his head. “Nah, stranger anxiety starts at six months.” 

Chris cocks his head a little bit, like a confused dog, and Mark (of course) says exactly what everyone’s thinking, with a hesitant look in his eye. “It’s a little weird that you know that, Wardo.”

And see, a while ago, that would have pissed Eduardo off. 

He was so seething mad at Mark for so long. Right from the moment he found out about the dilution to the moment he signed the papers, he felt just this _gnawing_ anger in him that he had to do something about. But once it was done and Mark was out of his life, it just felt… empty. Like he didn’t know what to do with himself anymore. And after the emptiness came the sadness, and he just downright _missed_ Mark. He missed him in a lot of ways, the ways they were together and the ways he wished they had gotten a chance to be. He missed everything about him, even times when he was acting like an asshole. 

Which is why now, Eduardo can only laugh. One of those full bodied, head thrown back laughs that is a little too loud. 

Mark looks surprised, like that wasn’t the reaction he was expecting, but definitely not disappointed. In fact, his smile widens a little bit and Eduardo can see just a hint of dimples in his cheeks. 

“I would’ve thought it was weird before too, but… I don’t know now. I’m a dad. It just kind of happened. One day I don’t know how to change a diaper and the next…” Eduardo trails off fondly with a shrug. 

He’s a little bit worried about what Mark will think, because even after all this time, it still matters to him. Mark just bites his lip with just a hint of a smile and scuffs his shoe into the carpet. 

Chris breaks the moment of awkwardness by saying they should get going, so Eduardo gathers their stuff and they all head out the door.  
*  
And the thing is, Eduardo just wants to _talk_ to Mark. They have so much to discuss.

But Hayden is not keen to get into his car seat, and so of course there are tears. And wailing. And it breaks Eduardo’s heart, so Eduardo sits with him in the backseat and tries to soothe him. Chris looks like he’s trying not to rapidly get a headache, while Mark just… well, he looks like it doesn’t really bother him. 

That’s a point in the pros column in Eduardo’s book. 

Unfortunately, there is definitely not any room for conversation. 

They make it to the emergency room, and Eduardo feels like he might pass out as he gets out of the car. Because what if something is really _wrong_ with Hayden, what will he do, Hayden’s his whole life now, how will he tell Jamie—he pushes all the thoughts out of his head as quickly as they come and clutches Hayden a little closer to him. 

Eduardo doesn’t really know how it’s possible, but somehow after all this time he and Mark are still on the same page. Because somehow, inexplicably, Mark can sense Eduardo’s internal panic and comes by his side and grabs his hand. “Hey,” he murmurs and gives it one quick squeeze before letting it drop back down to his side. Eduardo looks up at him and hope that he doesn’t look as frenzied as he feels. “It’s gonna be okay,” Mark says, and his voice sounds so reassuring that for a moment Eduardo believes him. He exhales and nods, and together they head in. 

It doesn’t take any more than stepping in the door to be glad that Mark and Chris are here for moral support. As soon as they’re inside the door, he’s getting forms on clipboards thrust at him, there are screaming kids who possibly have broken limbs or look like they may vomit on the spot, and the television set in the corner is being completely ignored but is for some reason still set to full volume. It is _hell._

The three of them fight their way over to some vacant chairs. Once there, they sit carefully on the edge of their seats because everything looks just _smothered_ in germs. Chris pulls out a little miniature bottle of hand sanitizer out of his pocket and they all indulge heavily. They don’t even attempt conversation in the chaotic waiting room, just sit tensely as Eduardo lets worry reign inside his head until someone calls “Saverin!” and he takes Hayden and flees the waiting room like it’s on fire. 

The young female doctor, who introduces herself as Dr. Christiana, lets Eduardo explain what’s wrong, and then gives a knowing smile when he says Hayden is three months and _is he really supposed to be sick yet?_

“Don’t worry, sir,” she assures him. “It’s perfectly ordinary, and even more understandable to be for a first time dad to be worried,” and shoots him a knowing smile. “You know, just hypothetically.” And then she winks. 

Eduardo allows himself a laugh, though there’s still a tinge of worry in the sound. “Yeah, hypothetically. I’ll let some other dads out in the waiting room know for you.”

She bites down on the responding smile and continues checking on Hayden, who is sniffling and letting out a little whine every minute or so. Eduardo sticks out his forefinger and watches as Hayden clasp his little hand around it, and fights a smile on his own, and it hits him how much Hayden is growing _already._

Dr. Christiana puts her stethoscope back around her neck. “Well, I can tell you right now to stop worrying. It’s just an ear infection, pretty standard for this age.” She pulls a pad and pen out from her pocket. “I’m writing you a typical liquid prescription to treat it. You can pick it up at the pharmacy downstairs. And also,” she says, not looking up from the pad, “my number’s on here. For like, you know. If you get hypothetically worried.”

“Oh!” Eduardo says, “That’s all?”

She sends him a dazzling smile. “Or you know, if you ever feel like going out for dinner or a drink.” 

_Oh._ Um. He had actually meant the ear infection. 

“Right,” Eduardo says, now consciously not making eye contact because he hadn’t even realized he was flirting (or that _she_ was flirting, for that matter). “I’ll just, um. We’ll just go get the prescription, then. Thanks so much, Dr. Christiana.”

“Anytime,” she replies as Eduardo heads for the door like a bat outta hell. “And please, it’s Holly!” she calls after him as he re-enters the waiting room for Chris and Mark, trying not to look as red as a beet, who both stand up as he approaches. 

“What’s the rush?” Chris asks with a shrewd smile. “Made some friends back there, didn’t we?”

“Shut up,” Eduardo growls under his breath, and Chris laughs. 

Eduardo chances a look at Mark who just looks… Well, he looks kinda disappointed. Eduardo doesn’t know if that’s cause for hope or not.  
*  
They get the prescription fairly quickly and are out the door. Hayden falls asleep pretty much as soon as Chris starts to drive (that medicine worked _fast_ ), so the car ride back is fairly quiet again, and Eduardo feels like he has so much to say to Mark that if he doesn’t get to tell him soon it’s just all gonna start pouring out of him without warning. 

Once they get back to the house, Chris makes protests about how they should go, but Eduardo insists that they come inside. “Chris, it’s late, and you’ve spent your entire day in the emergency room with a kid that’s not even yours. That’s definitely a sucky day. I saw you trying not to fall asleep in the waiting room; don’t try and pretend you weren’t. You’re in no shape to drive back home. Both of you should just stay here,” he asserts. 

That’s all it takes to convince Chris, but Mark is more hesitant. “Wardo, really, it’s fine. I can drive Chris home and I’ll just stay at his place.”

“ _Mark,”_ Eduardo says, before Mark can take a breath and speak again, “I’m not taking no for an answer. C’mon. You guys were so great today, to help me out with this. Let me do this for you.” 

Mark gives in. 

They tiptoe inside, and Eduardo turns some of the lights on dimly, because it’s been a while since Hayden slept and _there is no way_ he is going to wake him up. He tells Chris and Mark he was going to run upstairs and get Hayden’s pajamas and then he’d be back, but that there was beer in the fridge if either of them wanted it. 

As Eduardo comes back down, he realizes that they’re both now drinking a Beck’s (which was such a fucking flashback his brain short circuited a little), and Chris is strolling around the living room looking at the pictures on the walls. 

Eduardo lays Hayden down on the couch and tries to get him into his pajamas without waking him up. Mark sits a little awkwardly on the other end of the sectional, peeling off the label on his beer bottle with his thumbnail. 

“So, this must be Jamie,” Chris says, pointing at one of the pictures where Jamie and Eduardo are both lying on the hospital bed, posing exaggeratedly happy with their thumbs up for Mr. and Mrs. Valencia, with Hayden sandwiched in between them, smiling. 

Mark’s head perks up as Chris speaks. 

“Yeah,” Eduardo said, still distracted by the task at hand, but looking up momentarily to confirm. “That’s her.”

“Cool, man. So is she like, your wife? Your girlfriend?”

Eduardo laughs out loud when he hears _wife._ “God, no. No. We dated for a year before we both decided things weren’t working out. And then she called me a month later and said that she was pregnant, and that she wanted me to be in the baby’s life even though she didn’t want to be with me.”

Chris nods, and Mark looks very interested in the carpet. “Why do you ask?” Eduardo asks, trying to sound offhand, just mildly curious. 

Chris turns around to face him and rolls his eyes. “Eduardo, people don’t have children with just _anyone._ And I mean, you never update your Facebook like a normal person, so how are _we_ supposed to know?”

He flushes at that. “I do, all the time!”

“Yeah, but for business stuff,” Mark supplies. (Eduardo’s brain starts running around in excitement wondering if Mark is stalking his page.) “I don’t think your relationship status has changed since you _set up_ the page.” 

Eduardo lets out a full laugh, but then quiets quickly when Hayden stirs a little. “You know, I didn’t even _know_ how to change it for the longest time.”

Mark balks at that, and turns to face Eduardo a little more. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

Eduardo laughs again. “No, I’m serious. Like, part of the reason Christy was so crazy was because she was all paranoid that I didn’t change my relationship status. And I honestly just _didn’t_ know how to, but she didn’t believe me. And then I didn’t use my account for a while, because, well. You know. But then when I got back into it there just wasn’t any point. Like, Jamie didn’t have a page--”

Mark makes a sound of shock.

“--So it didn’t even occur to me to change it, and then we broke up and it was true, so.” 

Mark still looks surprised. “And it never occurred to you to ask your best friend, who also happened to be the founder and CEO?” 

Eduardo chuckles. “You always seemed too busy to be bothered when we were at Harvard, and. Well. I never really cared about my relationship status.”

Mark’s face is contemplative, like he’s considering this new information and doesn’t quite know the meaning behind it. 

But Eduardo was being completely truthful; relationship statuses had never mattered to him. Especially since he knew none of them would look as good as seeing _Eduardo Saverin is in a relationship with Mark Zuckerberg_ in his profile, he was always damn sure of that. 

Chris is looking at the both of them like he wants to shake _them_ , but instead settles for just shaking his head. 

He almost has Hayden completely in his pajamas when just one button _barely_ grazes skin and Hayden wakes up, violently wailing. 

Eduardo tries to placate him, picking him up and bouncing him up and down. “No, no, buddy, c’mon, you need rest so you can get better, _please_ don’t do this now--”

Mark stands up and goes over to them. “Give him to me,” he says, holding out his arms. 

Eduardo must look a little hesitant, but Mark just rolls his eyes and manages to indicate that he’s not in the least bit offended my Eduardo’s overprotective parenting. “C’mon, I’m good with babies, I promise.” 

Chris nods at Eduardo from over Mark’s shoulder, so Eduardo gingerly hands Hayden, who shows no signs of quieting down, over to Mark. 

When Mark takes him, Eduardo is stunned. Mark is like, a _natural_ at this. He holds Hayden just the right way, and does this kind of bouncing/rocking combo that Eduardo _really_ needs Mark to teach him, because Hayden’s volume goes down about ten clicks. 

“Did your daddy ever tell you the story of how Facebook was founded? See, it started off with this handsome prince named Mark, and he got this life-changing idea, but the two-headed monster called the Winklevvii wanted to stop him at all costs…” Mark continues talking to Hayden in a soothing, low voice as they wander into the kitchen, and only a minute later Hayden is quiet. 

Eduardo can only turn to Chris and gawk. “Was that real?”

Chris bursts out laughing, and ends up doubled over because the expression of incomprehension on Eduardo’s face is ridiculous. When he finally catches his breath, he turns back to Eduardo, who is still slack-jawed, and says with a proud smile, “He had a lot of practice from when Randi had kids. Amazing, right?”

 _Well, yeah it’s amazing,_ he thinks to himself, but just lets out a low whistle instead. Chris opens his mouth to speak again, but they both freeze when they hear Mark over the baby monitor, which means they must be up in Hayden’s nursery. He wraps up his story with, “And then they were all friends again, the Winklevvii didn’t medal in the Olympics, and Facebook was the top social networking site in the whole kingdom. The end.” Eduardo hears footsteps overhead, which means Mark has laid down Hayden in the crib and is now heading back downstairs. He can also hear Hayden’s steady breathing over the baby monitor.

He reaches the threshold of the living room, where Chris and Eduardo are, who are both staring at him. He shrugs. “What?”

Eduardo laughs and lets himself collapse into the couch. “ _Shit,_ Mark. You’re like the baby whisperer.”

Mark tries to shrug again, but the hint of dimples is undeniable and it’s obvious he’s fighting a grin. “Babies are easy. Talk to them about anything, as long as you sound calm, walk around while you do it, let them play with your finger or a bit of your hair and you’re golden.”

Eduardo laughs again and then points at Mark. “The Winklevosses? Two headed monster?” And then cackles all over again at the thought, and Chris joins in on the laughter.

Mark’s face grows redder, but the grin is now visible on his face. “Shut up,” he says. “If you’d had a full eight hours of sleep at any time in the past week it wouldn’t be this funny.”

Eduardo scoffs. “It fucking _would_ ,” and then giggles again. He can’t stop picturing the Winklevosses as a cross between Siamese twins and the hydra, which Mark would be all over if he knew (Greek mythology and all). 

Chris composes himself and cuts in amiably. “Look, Wardo, I completely see the humor in this, but you need _sleep_. You’re getting giddy. Go to bed.”

When Eduardo breathes out, he knows Chris is right. The hilarity of the situation is gone in an instant, and he just feels bone tired. “Okay,” he agrees. He lifts himself off the couch, grabs the baby monitor, and starts to head upstairs. “Chris, the guest room is down the hall from me, and Mark, my office is around the corner from the kitchen, there’s a futon in there you can sleep on. Let me know if you need anything. Goodnight.” 

They both return the sentiment, Mark quieter than Chris, and Eduardo wonders for what seems like the thousandth time what that _means_.  
*  
In the early morning, Eduardo is awoken by whimpers over the baby monitor. Not urgent, needy cries, it just sounds like Hayden’s having a bit of a bad dream or something. But Eduardo already feels terrible because Hayden’s sick, and if he’s having bad dream it would only make him feel worse. 

So he shuffles down the hall to the nursery and props himself up in the rocking chair, just to be nearby. 

But the rocking chair still feels too far away when Hayden’s making the noises that he is. He sounds scared, in pain, or some combination of both, Eduardo doesn’t know. He just knows that he doesn’t ever want to hear Hayden sound so small and frightened. 

Eduardo makes his way over to the crib, and looks down at his son from above. _He seems fine_ , he assures himself, but he still can’t convince himself to back over to the rocker. So instead, he sits down with his back propped up against the crib and his legs stretched out across the carpet, and closes his eyes, so he’ll be right there if Hayden needs him. 

He catches sleep in 15 minute snatches in-between the more violent whimpers, during which he opens his eyes and turns around to make sure Hayden is still okay. He always is, but you know. Just to be sure. 

It’s been about an hour before he hears approaching footsteps, and then a creak as someone stands in the doorway. He opens his eyes just a little, so everything is somewhat blurry, but he can still make out Mark’s figure. 

Mark is chuckling and coming closer. “Wardo, the whole point of the two of us staying over was that you could get a full night’s sleep, and I really don’t think you can do that _sitting up._ ”

“’S’not the point,” Eduardo slurs, voice heavy with sleep, and he yawns before continuing. “I didn’t want you both to have to drive.” 

Eduardo doesn’t see it, but he knows that Mark is probably rolling his eyes. “Whatever. I _agreed_ so you would get a full night’s sleep anyway.” Eduardo opens his eyes completely and looks up at Mark, who is looking at him with… fondness? Affection? Something. It’s too dark for Eduardo to be sure. But Mark just continues to smile down at him softly and extends his hand. “Let’s get you back in bed.” 

He sighs a little and grabs Mark’s hand to pull himself up. He feels a little dizzy upon standing, and Mark reacts immediately, slinging his other arm under Eduardo’s shoulder and circling Eduardo’s wrist with the hand he originally took. Together they stumble back to Eduardo’s room, and Eduardo tries not to think about how _weird_ it feels. It’s like a flashback from the opposite point of view, because he can’t even count the amount of times he led Mark to bed at Harvard. He’s conscious of every point where they’re bodies are touching, and if he leans into Mark a little more than friends usually do, well, he can just blame it on his half-awake state. 

“Thanks,” he murmurs as Mark helps him into bed and pulls the covers up around him. 

“No problem,” Mark murmurs back, and Eduardo wants to open his eyes and see his expression, to see if it was still that fond look, because he really liked seeing Mark look at him like that. But his eyes are already closed.  
*  
The light is harsh through his curtains the next morning, and Eduardo scrubs his hand over his face as he wakes. When his turns his face to the clock, he is surprised to see that it’s actually nine o’clock. He can’t remember the last time he slept in this late; it was definitely before Hayden and probably even before he started throwing himself into his work like nothing else mattered. It was so _nice._ But weird, why did Hayden let him sleep so—

Eduardo’s mind immediately rushes to the most horrible possibilities, so he pulls on some sweatpants and dashes to the nursery, but Hayden isn’t there. 

Before he has a mini-heart attack, he remembers Mark tucking him in last night, Mark putting Hayden to bed with Facebook fairy tales, Mark being a natural with babies, and he breathes out and tries to compose himself as he heads downstairs. 

Mark is sitting on the couch, with Hayden on his lap, and holding a brightly colored stuffed animal (some type of cross between a giraffe and a zebra, a gift from the Valencias) just out of his reach. Hayden lunges out to grab for it, and Mark pulls it just a little further back out of his reach. This makes Hayden giggle and clap his hands. Eduardo can’t help but smile, Hayden just started laughing a week or so ago and it never fails to delight Eduardo every time it happens. But Mark seems to enjoy it just as much, he’s laughing too and his smile is completely unguarded which is unusual for him. 

Eduardo allows himself thirty seconds to just let everything fall away and imagine this was his life, where when he woke up every morning and it was the three of them, their own little family unit. A warm feeling spreads through his body, the kind that says _I really could get used to this_.

But then the thirty seconds is up and he forces himself to shake the thought away. Mark has never thought of him like that, and it’s unfair to ask that of him now, when there is so much more to Eduardo’s life. 

He enters the living room, rapping on the side of the doorframe as he does so to alert them both to his presence. Mark looks up immediately, and his expression of unguarded happiness shuts down. “Wardo,” he says. 

“Hey,” Eduardo responds, making a silly face for Hayden, who is laughing and pointing at him. Mark hurries to get up, handing Hayden the zebra-giraffe (who takes it but regards it disinterestedly, like now that he actually _has_ it all the fun is gone) in haste. 

“No, no, Mark, it’s fine. Don’t get up. He was having fun playing with you,” Eduardo says over his shoulder as he made his way into the kitchen. “Can I get you some coffee?”

Mark sits back down a little hesitantly and clears his throat. “Um, sure. That’d be great.” 

So Eduardo busies himself with making coffee, but tries to do it as quietly as possible so he can hear the two of them playing. He decides it’s his new favorite thing, hearing Hayden laugh and coo to Mark, who always responds back like he knew exactly what Hayden was saying and they were in the middle of a very serious conversation. Eduardo tries to hide his smile as he heads back in, offering Mark a mug. 

“What time did he get up?” Eduardo asks, perched on the opposite arm of the couch, sipping on his coffee while watching Hayden tug on a particularly springy curl of Mark’s insistently while Mark tries to disentangle Hayden’s persistent fingers. 

“Just like two hours ago. I was already up coding anyway—my laptop was in Chris’ car—and I might have snuck the baby monitor from your room when I forced you into bed last night,” he admits, looking just a tad unsure and guilty, not meeting Eduardo’s eyes.

Eduardo gives him a mock stern look. “Mark,” he begins.  
“Seriously, Wardo, it was no big deal. And you are not allowed to harass me about how much sleep I got, you tried to sleep up against a _wooden crib_ last night,” Mark says firmly, with a look to match. Eduardo loses all pretense of strictness and smiled shyly down at his mug, conceding Mark’s point. 

The moment breaks as Chris strolls in, looking freshened and more awake than either Mark or Eduardo. “Morning,” he says a little too brightly, pouring himself a cup of coffee too, and asking Eduardo what his plans for the day were. 

“Well,” he sighs. “I wanted to go with Hayden to see Jamie at the hospital, but I still lack a car for the rest of the weekend. I’ll probably end up taking a taxi or something,” he assures Chris. 

Their reactions were polar opposites. Chris looked concerned immediately, brow furrowed, and asked, “ _Hospital_?” while Mark looked offended and inquired, “ _Taxi_?”

The responses were so reverse of each other that Eduardo tries to laugh, but mostly just ended up choking on his coffee. When he has composed himself, he turns to Chris. 

“Didn’t I tell you last night? Jamie has cancer.”

Chris looks shell-shocked. “I’m pretty damn sure I’d remember if you mentioned the mother of your child had _cancer_ , Wardo.” 

Eduardo shrugs. “She does. That’s why her parents are staying with me, except for this weekend. They’ve gone to pick up her sister and brother-in-law in Seattle. Hence my lack of a vehicle,” he supplies, gesturing to Chris. 

Chris just shakes his head again, like he couldn’t get the words to make sense in his head. “But—cancer? She’s a year younger than you, Eduardo!”

He nods to confirm. “Yeah, but apparently cancer can be pretty nondiscriminatory when it comes to age. Honestly, I don’t know much about the whole thing, in the doctor’s appointments she always made me cover the baby stuff and let her worry about the disease thing.” 

Chris mutters, “I’m sorry,” softly, and Eduardo echoes that he is too, and Mark just nods in agreement. It seemed like Chris was actually speechless, which was kind of a new thing for him, at least as far as Eduardo has seen. So Eduardo turns to Mark.

“What’s wrong with a taxi?”

When Mark looks at him, it’s a little bit exasperated. “Nothing Wardo, other than the fact that they’re totally disgusting and no place for a three month old, not to mention that Chris’ car is right outside and we could easily take you.”

Chris squawks. “Mark! You can’t just offer up other people’s _cars!_ ”

Mark looks at Chris like he’s overreacting. “What? It’s true, and we’re already here, and you were practically _begging_ me to take some vacation time yesterday. This can be a vacation day. We’ll go to the hospital with Wardo, and then I promise your car will be yours again and you can return to your very exciting social life,” he finishes with a sarcastic look at Chris. 

Chris returns Mark’s look with narrowed eyes, probably annoyed at having his own arguments used against him and being confronted with Mark’s absolute logic. Mark could be ridiculous, but when he was making sense, fighting it was useless. “Fine,” Chris surrenders, throwing up his hands. “What time do visiting hours start?”

Mark looks victorious, Chris looks long-suffering but content, Hayden claps his hands again and giggles, and Eduardo tries to think back to the last time he was this happy.  
*  
Chris and Mark spend most of the car ride over asking about Jamie, her _unfortunate predicament_ , and so on. Mark actually seems _nervous_ about meeting her, which is just so out of character for him that it’s ridiculous. It gets even worse when Eduardo lets slip that Jamie actually wants to meet him. 

“ _What?!”_ Mark screeches, turning around in the passenger seat so he can see Eduardo. “Why? What reason would she possibly have for wanting to meet me, other than a negative one?”

Eduardo laughs, and then turns it into a cough to keep from blushing. Chris gives him knowing eyes in the rearview mirror, which he avoids. He doesn’t want Mark to know exactly how much he talks about him, or that Jamie’s first question when he sees her is always about if Mark has called or not. “I told her a lot of Harvard stories.” 

Mark turns back around but seems unconvinced. 

They make their way into the hospital, and Eduardo is relieved to see that the bitchy nurse is off-duty today. He asks one of the other nurses if Jamie is having a good day, to which the nurse assures him that she is, so he asks if she could check and see if Jamie was asleep or if they might be able to see her. The nurse nods and heads out, leaving them waiting. 

Eduardo looks down beside him and notices that Mark’s palms are sweating, and he’s wiping them nervously on his jeans. He beams, but just to himself. He has to bite the inside of his cheek to get it to go away, and then is reminded of Mark calming his nerves last night outside the emergency room. 

“Hey,” he says, reaching for Mark’s nearest hands and giving it a squeeze in the same fashion as last night. “It’s going to be okay.” 

And yeah, it’s kind of a cheesy gesture, especially considering that Mark just did the same for him yesterday, and so Mark is obligated to roll his eyes because that’s who he is, but it’s okay. Because Eduardo can see the light behind them, and so he lets himself beam back. 

The nurse pops her head back in. “Jamie’s awake, Mr. Saverin, and she’d love to see you all.” Eduardo nods at her and leads them all in. 

Jamie has propped herself up and her hands are folded in her lap, her smile a little too mischievous for Eduardo’s liking. “Well well well,” she says, in a tone Eduardo does not like _at all_ , “New visitors! I’m Jamie, and you must be Chris… and Mark.” 

They both step forward and shake hands with her and say hello. She fusses at them to sit down, and then turns towards Eduardo. “Why didn’t you tell me you had company?” she teases, and Eduardo rolls his eyes playfully back, unstrapping Hayden from his carseat. 

“Your son has an ear infection,” he states, and immediately she’s back to her motherly self, reaching for Hayden and cooing and asking Eduardo all sorts of questions about the medicine and what the doctor said and all about yesterday and when she runs out of questions, Eduardo feels exhausted. However, Mark looks grateful for the distraction, and Eduardo shoots him a wink. Mark bites down on his lip. 

Jamie seems satisfied and settles Hayden into her lap. “I’m so thirsty,” she says, and only Eduardo can tell that it’s a little bit exaggerated for her. Chris, being the rookie that he is, offers to get her something, and Jamie tells him what a dear he is and she’d really appreciate it. And then, “Eduardo, why don’t you go with him so he doesn’t get lost.”

He narrows his eyes at her as he rises to go with Chris, just to show her that he knows what she’s up to, trying to talk to Mark alone, but she just smiles sweetly back at him. Mark shoots him a panicked look like _don’t leave me_ , but there’s nothing Eduardo can do. 

When he and Chris return, Mark looks a little more relaxed and Jamie looks a lot less impish. Eduardo is worried, but knows he can’t say anything. 

They spend about two hours with Jamie, Mark and Chris getting to know her, and in turn she and Eduardo share story after story, some from when they were together and some from when they weren’t. They mock the bad soap that comes on and take turns holding and playing with Hayden. It is an afternoon well-spent, in Eduardo’s opinion, and he really doesn’t want to leave, but Jamie is starting to show signs of fatigue and finally Eduardo says they’d better get going. 

Mark and Chris say they’ll meet him in the parking lot, like they think he and Jamie need _alone time_ or something else ridiculous like that, but whatever. He gathers up Hayden’s diaper bag and starts putting him into the car seat. 

“So,” he starts, and he knows he’s being as obvious as physically possible, but he doesn’t even care. “What did you and Mark discuss?” 

Jamie mimes zipping her lips and throwing away the key. “That’s between the two of us, Eduardo,” she says just a little too sweetly. 

Eduardo scoffs at her and throws Hayden’s stuffed animals into the diaper bag with a little too much force. “Sure, sure, that’s just great. Yeah, let me worry about it and miss him for three months--”

“ _Miss_ him?! Eduardo, don’t pretend the last three months were anything short of _pining--_ ”

“But then withhold all the information you find out when you meet him, yeah, that’s just fucking _great_ , that’s what friends do for each other, thanks Jamie.” He didn’t realize he was as mad as he was until he actually started talking, now he just feels _furious._ He looks up at Jamie and he knows all his emotions are painted across his face, but he doesn’t care. He wants to see his expression reflected across her features, meeting him push for push. 

But that isn’t what’s written in her expression at all. In fact, there’s nothing short of care there, like she knows that his anger comes more from fear and anxiety than anything else, and she forgives him for it. 

“Sweetie,” she begins, rubbing a soothing hand over his back as he sits down in the chair beside her, scrubbing his hand over his face and carding it through his hair. “I know it’s hard, and frustrating, and it sucks. But just. This should just be about the two of you. Don’t let any other factors get in the way this time. No more ads, no more Christy Lees, no more Sean Parkers. Okay?” 

Eduardo lets out a ragged breath, but nods. Because that makes sense, which only further confirms that Jamie sometimes understands him better than he knows himself. So he gives her a quick hug and murmurs, “Thanks,” before standing up, picking up Hayden in his car seat, and heading for the door. 

“Eduardo,” she says right as he’s about to walk out. He turns around to face her. “Can I give you just _one_ piece of advice?”

He laughs in response. “Sure,” he allows. “I need as much as I can get.”

Jamie smiles back, but it’s a little subdued. “Stop being afraid and just _talk_ to him Eduardo. And ask him.”

His eyebrows come together in puzzlement, because he’s not quite sure what she’s referring to. “What d’you--”

“You know,” she cuts him off with an encouraging nod. “Just. Ask him.” 

At this point he’s pretty sure what she means, he’s just not sure how she _knows_ it. But he figures that’s as good as he’s going to get from Jamie, says goodbye again, and heads out to the parking lot to meet Chris and Mark.  
*  
They’re all pretty starving, so they decide to grab food somewhere. Chris says he knows a place, and so they end up there. It’s quite nice, they end up eating their meals outside in the little café area outside the restaurant, despite the fact that it’s overcast today and it looks like rain may be threatening later. Eduardo insists on paying as his way for thanking Mark and Chris for all their help the past two days. 

Afterwards, Chris really does have to get back, as he apparently has a Democratic party function to go to in the evening, but he offers to drop them off wherever. Eduardo says he’d just love to head home, and then Mark surprises them. 

“I’ll just go back with Eduardo,” he says simply. Chris’ eyes bug out, worried Mark has overstayed his welcome, and Eduardo looks up. Mark realizes his flub immediately, and he turns to Eduardo with a hint of vulnerability in his eyes. “I mean, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course it’s okay. It’s _beyond_ okay; you’re such a help with Hayden… I just don’t want to hold you back from any plans or anything, Mark,” Eduardo admits honestly. Because seriously, he doesn’t want to keep Mark around for selfish reasons if he doesn’t really want to be there (that’s a lie, he totally does, but he _won’t_ and that’s what matters).

Mark shakes his head quickly. “No, I want to. It’s fun hanging out with Hayden and… catching up with you.” He smiles a little afterward, a nervous smile, but when Eduardo returns the sentiment, the look becomes more confident.  
*  
They really do spend the rest of the day catching up. They talk about so many things, mostly about what they’ve been doing since the depositions (though they never talk about _how_ they were doing, and they definitely don’t actually refer to the depositions). Eduardo thinks about what Jamie said, about really _talking_ to Mark, and feels a little bit guilty since they aren’t actually dealing with any of their issues, but then shrugs off the feeling and reminds himself that Rome wasn’t built in a day. 

But even without any so-called _closure_ , it’s still so refreshing, and for once Eduardo doesn’t feel like he’s missing anything. He’s totally present, totally in-the-moment and enjoying himself, a mood that’s really only been present with Hayden as of late. By the evening they’re both more than a little giddy, just high on spending time with each other after going without for so long. 

Eduardo find himself wishing again that it didn’t have to end, but by eight o’clock Hayden is making needy, tired sounds that signal it’s time for bed. Mark insists that it’s fine, he’ll just call a car (Because apparently when you’re CEO of a multi-billion dollar company they just have drivers waiting around at your beck and call, and that’s totally typical. Eduardo sometimes feels just a little bit in awe that they’ve come so far, that _Mark_ and _Facebook_ have come so far). Eduardo says that sounds great, and goes to put Hayden down for the night. 

When he returns downstairs, Mark’s driver is already outside. “That was fast,” Eduardo can’t help but say, and something’s welling up in the pit of his stomach that feels a little like melancholy.

Mark nods in agreement, and picks up his bag. He looks like he’s not ready to leave either. 

“So listen,” Eduardo says. “I really, _really_ want to thank you again for everything this these past two days. I couldn’t have done it without either of you, for sure, but I definitely appreciate _you_ being here for me, even though. You know,” he finishes lamely, and chances a look up at Mark.  
Mark is smiling at him in a way that manages to communicate that he thinks Eduardo’s thanks are totally unnecessary but he appreciates them anyway. “Of course,” he says back simply. “It was great,” and he sounds sincere. 

“Yeah,” Eduardo echoes, and there’s no more time to kill. He opens the door and Mark steps out into the night, and gives a last little wave before Eduardo closes the door behind him.

Eduardo leans up against the door as soon as its shut, breathing a little heavy. His mind is racing a mile a minute. He’s thinking about how it’s fine, he can wait to talk to Mark about everything, that this is just the beginning.

But then he realizes. 

Jamie was right. He’s just _afraid_. Afraid of Mark, which is kind of ridiculous, considering everything. He had so many opportunities to really _talk_ to Mark these past two days, and he was always able to come up with an excuse. 

And he knows that Jamie is right. He has to ask. 

He has to _know._

So he throws the door open and runs out into the dark, and it’s raining, fucking _pouring_ actually, how did he not notice that before (and why is it always _raining_ with Mark)? Mark’s nearing the end of the driveway. He calls out to him, but Mark doesn’t turn. “ _MARK!_ ” he yells as he runs closer, and this time he gets Mark’s attention. 

Mark definitely looks surprised and maybe a little confused, but Eduardo keeps coming closer until they’re about two feet apart, and doesn’t give Mark a chance to speak.

The words tumble out of his mouth without any warning or buildup. “Why didn’t you call?” he asks, and he has to speak louder over the noise of the rain, but mostly he doesn’t even care because he just feels desperate. 

Mark opens his mouth and looks like a mixture of guilt and sadness, but Eduardo isn’t done. 

“You promised you would. You said you wanted me back in your life and then you didn’t call. You can’t just _do_ that, you can’t mess with someone’s emotions like that. And I know the baby thing is a trip, alright, I do, but like, you _see_ now, everything’s not as it appeared that night. This isn’t in any way a normal situation. And I would have liked to have been given a chance to explain, if nothing else.” 

Mark says nothing for a moment, just considers Eduardo kind of sadly, like he’s regretting something. Eduardo is already soaked through to the skin and he knows Mark must be too, but he doesn’t _care_ , he’s not even focused on that a little bit. 

“You said you couldn’t,” Mark says. 

Eduardo recoils a little, because… _What?_

“You said you wanted me back in your life too, and then you said, ‘But I can’t,’ before you were interrupted. And after what followed, I was worried that you were about to say no. That you were too busy to be friends again, or that you weren’t going to waste your time with it, or that you didn’t want to. And now, now I see that that isn’t the case—or at least I _hope_ it’s not the case, I don’t want to assume anything—but you have to understand. I had _every_ intention of calling you. That probably seems absurd considering that it’s been _three months_ , but you have to believe me. That’s how long it was taking me to work up the courage to face you turning me down. Because you mean that much to me, Wardo. I was too scared to see you walk away again.” 

When Mark looks up at him again, Eduardo thinks he can understand the sadness there a little. But he can’t let Mark think like that. 

“That’s not— _god,_ Mark, that’s not even—I was never going to…” Eduardo takes a deep breath to steady himself. He knows what he was originally going to say, that he couldn’t be just friends with Mark anymore and that he wanted more, he always had. But that seems unfair now, with Hayden and Jamie and _everything_. How could he possibly put Mark in that position? Besides, this is still tentative. He wants Mark to know how he really feels with every fiber of his being, but he can’t scare him away already. He’s just not ready to lose him yet. 

“Mark, I was going to say that we couldn’t go back to the way things used to be. If we do this again—and I want to, _god,_ do I want to—we have to be able to trust each other. I don’t want to go through that mess again. I don’t want to hurt you anymore and I want to know that you don’t want to hurt me. That’s all. That’s all I was going to say. That’s all I want.” 

There’s a moment of silence before Mark grins. Eduardo grins back, and it feels like a promise, the kind you keep. 

“I want that too,” Mark says, not breaking eye contact. 

“Good,” Eduardo breathes, and his heart feels a million times lighter as he steps back a little. “Okay. So, I’ll see you around.” 

“Definitely,” Mark says, and climbs into the car without losing his grin. “See you around, Wardo,” he says, and pulls the door shut. 

Eduardo watches the car pull away and stands in the pouring rain, watching Mark leave in the torrential downpour with the biggest smile on his face, until he can’t see him anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

For once, Eduardo’s life doesn’t change drastically in the blink of an eye. The next changes are small, gradual, measured. Eduardo starts to think there’s something to be said for that.

Practically the next day, Jamie finally convinces Eduardo that it’s time to go back to the office. His assistant Claire’s sanity is questionable at this point, if nothing else.

He doesn’t go back _completely_. He starts working half days, so that he can go in early mornings and then have to rest of the day to spend with Hayden after lunch. He hires a nanny since Jamie’s parents insist on staying with Jamie’s sister Kelly and her husband Peter (“We’ve imposed enough dear”, Jamie’s mom tells him). The nanny is a Stanford student named Aubrey who is capable, put together, and very nice. On a completely unrelated note, she reminds him a little bit of Mark.

That’s not why he picked her, or anything. Not at _all_. It just happens to be a series of multiple coincidences.

Like, when she interviewed for the job, Eduardo let her play with Hayden for an hour or so, to get a feel for if she’d be a good fit. And immediately, Hayden starts whimpering a little because he was cranky that day, but Aubrey does a variation of _Mark’s move_ , as Eduardo has come to think of it. The bouncing rocking thing. It doesn’t work instantly this time, but it certainly helps. Eduardo really needs someone to teach him that.

Plus, she’s refreshingly straightforward. Maybe a bit more polite than Mark is, but their personalities are very similar. Like, sometimes Eduardo will say something, and she’ll just give him this _look_ , like _are you being serious with me right now_ , that has Mark written all over it. A hint of raised eyebrow, set mouth, but a pretty blank expression in all. The first time it happens Eduardo almost chokes on his coffee.

And she’s great with Hayden. He really likes her. She always seems to know _just_ what he’s crying for, and Eduardo is a _lot_ jealous of that ability.

Jamie likes her too. Of course Jamie told Eduardo to trust his best judgment, but Eduardo wanted Jamie to meet Aubrey anyway. They got along well, and Aubrey was very understanding when Eduardo and Jamie explained the whole _unfortunate predicament._ And she’s not the kind of person who gets all freaked out by hospitals and all weird around terminally ill people, she treats Jamie like any other person, and Jamie and Eduardo both respect her so much for it.

Though, at the end of the little get together, Aubrey goes to use the bathroom, and Jamie leans over to Eduardo and whispers, “Boy, you _do_ have a type, don’t you?” in a very suggestive manner.

Guess she saw the similarities too.

Eduardo pretends that he doesn’t know what she means, which just cracks Jamie up to no end.  
*  
Things with Jamie are still easy. He and Aubrey had decided that he would work mornings so that he’d be able to go in during optimum visiting hours at the hospital. She’s still the best mother Hayden could hope for, and having her sister Kelly and brother-in-law Peter in town has certainly brightened her up.

But she’s having fewer and fewer good days. More and more she’s so exhausted that she can’t even work up the energy to sit up in the hospital bed, and some days she doesn’t even have the strength to hold Hayden. Eduardo continues to tell her that it’s just a bad spell, she’ll be back to normal in no time, and Jamie nods like she’s not convinced.

About two days after Eduardo hires Aubrey, the doctor ushers everyone else out of the room but the two of them. The Valenicas and Kelly and Peter, who are entertaining Hayden to distract him, all file outside kind of quietly, and the tension in the air is thick. Jamie steels herself like she knows what’s coming and Eduardo squeezes her hand _so_ hard.

The doctor tells them plainly that they don’t expect Jamie to live more than a month.

He tells them he’s very sorry and that they didn’t expect the cancer to progress this quickly. He advises that she get her affairs in order and then he says that he’s going to give them a minute, but to come and get him if they have any questions.

He chances a look at Jamie. She just looks determined. She turns to Eduardo and pats the space beside her on the hospital bed.

Eduardo obliges, and she holds his hand. “Remember what you said, about someone having a whole other life and just feeling shell-shocked?” He nods, and Jamie gets a far off look in her eyes before she continues.

And then she starts talking full speed ahead, as fast as she can, on topics that seem completely unrelated but flow into each other seamlessly. She talks about growing up in San Francisco with parents who made sure she knew she was as American as anyone else, and two sets of grandparents who taught her about her Colombian heritage. She tells him about the first house her family lived in. It was small and modest, but had a beautiful bay window in the back that she would sit by late at night when she couldn’t sleep or when her parents let her stay up late, and just watch the glittering streetlights go out one by one. Then Eduardo’s learning all about the phases her childhood room when through: pink when she was in kindergarten, soft blue in third grade (because it was the color of the sky after rain), and then back to pink in middle school when her friends told her blue was for boys, and then back to _blue_ when she cried and told the story to her mom, who stroked her hair and told her that it didn’t matter as long as _she_ liked the color of her room. She became a big sister at four, and vowed that she would hate Kelly _forever_ , until about one week later and Jamie told her father that Kelly was her favorite thing in the whole world. Jamie’s first kiss was with Gregory Seage, in the eighth grade, who kissed her on a dare and then ran away, but the first kiss she actually _counted_ was from Dakota Copeland in the tenth grade, who kissed her at the homecoming football game as their team scored the winning touchdown and they cheered wildly in the stands, and then grinned at her as he laced their gloved fingers together.

The stories range from cute and funny to heartbreakingly poignant. And they continue, she describes the feeling to be the first person in her family to graduate college (Stanford, of course, and _euphoric_ is the word of choice), the story of how she lost her virginity (to Dakota on prom night, which she admits was cliché but she didn’t even care, since he was her first love and they didn’t even break up until sophomore year of college), and the story of changing her major four times and the resulting race to graduate on time (finally settling on International Relations and a minor in Psychology).

After that her anecdotes become more recognizable. Eduardo learns exactly what she thought of him the first time they met, that he was cute and sweet but seemed kinda distracted (which Jamie laughs at and says is pretty much the theme of their entire time as a couple). She confesses how truly nervous she was that Eduardo would walk away and she’d have to do it all alone and then the immense relief she felt when he said _of course I’ll be there for the baby_. And finally she talks about when Hayden was born. “Completely indescribable,” is how she says it, and continues, “And every moment with him since has felt the same.” Eduardo couldn’t agree more.

He is a very captive audience; it’s not hard to be with the way Jamie is talking, her face lit up like a Christmas tree as she sifts through the memories. A contemplative silence falls between them when she stops, and Jamie’s voice is quieter and she squeezes his hand a little tighter. “I’m never going to get to know my son,” she finally murmurs. “I’m not going to know when he feels insecure and you comfort him, his first kiss, or what he feels like when he graduates. But. I still want him to know me. I want him to feels like he knows who his mom is—was—even though he won’t remember me.”

She looks up at Eduardo with a brutally honest but still resolute look in her eye. “Please tell me you’ll do that for me.”

Eduardo squeezes her hand back and tries to look as reassuring as he can. “You know I will,” he promises.

Jamie smiles back up at him and her eyes soften. She bumps his shoulder with her own. “Good.” They both laugh a little, and then her parents and sister and brother-in-law and Hayden re-enter. No one talks about what the doctor said, and Jamie’s smile stays in place for the rest of the visit.  
*  
About a week after the ear infection, Eduardo is at work one morning when Claire tells him that he has a personal call on line 2. He’s a little bit taken aback, but he picks up.  
The greeting on the other end is deafening. “ _WARDOOOOOO!”_ Dustin crows on the other end, and Eduardo holds the phone away from his ear.

“Hey man,” he replies, feeling a little bit nervous. He had never really known where he stood with Dustin after everything, but within a couple seconds those fears are quieted, because Dustin is kind of oblivious about these kind of things, and for once Eduardo is grateful for it.

“Soo,” Dustin drawls. “The Fab Four had a reunion and guess who wasn’t invited.”

“John Lennon!” Eduardo calls out immediately, off the top of his head. “On account of being deceased."

Dustin makes a drawn out beeping noise to indicate an incorrect answer, and then sighs disappointed. “Wrong! We were looking for either Dustin Moskovitz or Ringo Starr on that one.”

Eduardo’s eyebrows furrow together. “Ringo?”

Dustin’s response is a scoff. “Seriously man? If we were the Beatles, I’d totally be Ringo.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m a little eccentric but endearing, and also misunderstood and underappreciated. Chris would be George because he’s the most normal one, Mark would be John because _hello,_ visionary, and you would be Paul because you follow John around with hearts in your eyes. Oh, and Sean would be Yoko.”

Eduardo can’t help but laugh, even if he resents the Sean addition. “There are so many things wrong with that I don’t quite know where to start.”

“Whatever, man, my logic is sound.” Dustin replies. “And besides, George is dead too, so _your_ argument is invalid.”

“I thought you always said we were the Facebook Four anyway, not the Fab Four.”

Dustin sounds frustrated and a little bit annoyed now. Eduardo had forgotten how much fun it was to mess with him. “Just—it was a good analogy and you just shit all over it, Wardo— _ANYWAY,_ it doesn’t change _my main point,_ which is that you guys totally had a party without me.” 

He squawks in protest. “What? You think going to the emergency room is a _party?_ Maybe you need to get out more often. Besides, Chris was the only one technically invited.”  
Dustin makes a dismissive sound. “Psh, don’t act like you weren’t _thrilled_ that Mark was there.” Eduardo starts to cut him off, but Dustin anticipates it. “C’mon man, we’re all grown up now, let’s shelve the charade. And you’re right, the emergency room part was not the party, it was the knowledge that you all had a _sleepover_ afterwards and then went to visit the mother of your child, and then went out to lunch, and then you and Mark went back to your place and there was _bonding time._ Oh yeah, and don’t let me forget that _THEY BOTH GOT TO MEET YOUR KID._ ” 

Eduardo winces a little bit, because when you put it that way he can see why Dustin would be upset. “Okay, okay, I see your point. I’m sorry, Dustin.”

He sounds triumphant. “Good. And luckily for you I have the perfect idea of how you can repay me.”

Eduardo groans, because he can count on one hand the amount of good ideas that Dustin has ever had, let alone _perfect_ ideas. 

“Dude, just listen before you say anything. So Mark, Chris, and I do this thing every Friday night at someone’s house where we play video games, drink beer, and eat pizza. And this week, we would like to extend an invitation for you to join us.” 

Eduardo debates it over in his head. That actually doesn’t sound half bad, honestly. Low-key and a lot like weekends in Kirkland. Plus, Eduardo really wants to see Mark again. Like, more than he’s willing to admit to himself. 

But. He has Hayden, and he would feel guilty leaving him with Valencias or Aubrey for the night. It seems… irresponsible. He doesn’t want to ask too much of them, especially while he goes out and has fun. And of course he doesn’t want to bother Chris, Mark, and Dustin by bringing him with (it would be past his bedtime anyway). He sighs and tries to explain this. 

“Man, I really would like to. But I’d have to get someone to watch Hayden. I would ask his grandparents but I want them to have time with their daughters and son-in-law, and he has a nanny but I _just_ hired her this week and don’t want to start asking for favors _already…_ ” 

Dustin isn’t having any of it. “Look Wardo. Just ask. Number one, you owe me, and number two, what’s the worst that can happen if you ask? Besides, we both know that you want to see _Maarrrrkkkkk…_ ” he teases, saying Mark’s name in a sing-song-y tone. 

He huffs out a breath in response. Dustin is right. It can’t hurt to ask. “ _Fine_ ,” he says begrudgingly. “I’ll ask and then let you know.”

Dustin’s fist pump of victory is practically audible over the phone. “Great! I’ll text you the deets.” 

Eduardo can’t help ribbing Dustin one last time. “Deets? Who says deets?”

He makes a frustrated sound, but Dustin can always dish it out as much as he can take it. “Whatever man, just be ready to see to see your _loverboy_ on Friday.”

Before Eduardo can protest, there is a click from the other end to indicate that Dustin has hung up. Eduardo laughs, because of course Dustin would say something like that and not leave any room for a rebuttal. 

But more than anything else, Eduardo feels like everything is falling right back into place.  
*  
Turns out, when he approaches Aubrey with the idea of possibly watching Hayden on Friday night, she’s thrilled to have the opportunity for some extra cash. “Seriously, Eduardo, I’m a college student. More money is always a good thing,” she tells him very seriously.

So he texts Dustin the next day to say that it’s on, and Dustin texts back that he’ll come to pick him up at eight on Friday night and that he wants to meet Hayden. Then he receives a second text: _should i tell mark you’re coming? or do u want 2 surprise your boyfriend?_

Eduardo rolls his eyes but chuckles a little. _of course tell mark,_ he responds. _and we are NOT boyfriends, dustin._

 _for now… :)_ Dustin replies immediately. Eduardo refuses to dignify that with a response. 

Friday night comes quickly, and everything seems to hit him all at once. 

He comes home in the afternoon to give Aubrey a couple hours off before she has to come back. In that time, Eduardo puts Hayden down for a nap (He only resists a little today, he and Aubrey went for a walk around the block in the morning, which always tires him out. He always gets so excited, turning his in every direction like he wants to see everything all at once, and he points and emits high-pitched squeals at constantly like _look at that!_ _Look Daddy, look Aubrey, look!_ ). He gets some work done while Hayden sleeps, and then when he awakes, they spend an hour or two playing, or as the books call it, “tummy time.” Then he spends half an hour attempting to feed Hayden, who is fighting him every step of the way. 

Eventually he decides to try again after he gets changed. This is, of course, a bad idea, because as soon as he does Hayden wants to eat, and he spits up a little on Eduardo’s nice charcoal button down and slacks (he _knows_ he doesn’t have to get dressed up for pizza, video games, and beer, but somehow it makes him a little less nervous). So he towels it off quickly while Hayden plays with the stuffed zebra-giraffe thing. 

Aubrey is knocking before he’s even finished, arriving just a few minutes before Dustin, and Eduardo doesn’t have time to brief her before the doorbell is ringing again. “Hold on, two seconds, let me let Dustin in and I’ll be right back,” he tells her while handing her Hayden, feeling just a little bit jumpy and anxious. 

He rushes down the stairs, and when he opens the door, he is struck immediately by how much Dustin looks the same. Red hair, clean shaven, wearing jeans and a worn t-shirt. “Duuuuude!” he says, grinning and throwing his arms out. “C’mon man, bring it in for a hug.”

Eduardo chuckles, because within two seconds he can tell that Dustin is exactly the same. “Hey Dustin,” he says as he gives him a quick hug before ushering him in. “Come on inside.” 

And then they’re back to the teasing. “Wardo, why are you all dressed up? You are aware that this is _all four of us_ hanging out, right? Not just you and Mark on a date?” Eduardo shoots him a glare that is meant to have heat, but instead is just mostly mild annoyance. “And what’s that stain on your shirt?”

“Are you serious, is it that obvious?” Eduardo whines. 

“What, that you want to go on a date with Mark? Yeah, it’s pretty obvious.” 

“Not that, idiot, I meant the stain!” he replies, grabbing the wet washcloth again and scrubbing at the stain ferociously. Dustin cackles in response. “Ugh, it’s spit up.”

“Ew—wait, _baby_ spit up? Wardo, where’s your baby?! I want to see the baby!” he says, and does this kind of hand excited flail thing and bouncing up and down. 

Eduardo beams in response, because _of course;_ having people meet Hayden is one of his favorite things. They all seem to love him on instinct and realize how amazing he is, and Eduardo immediately swells with pride to watch it. “Sure, man, he and Aubrey are upstairs,” and then takes the stairs two by two with Dustin following behind. 

Aubrey is walking around the nursery while bouncing Hayden and singing. Eduardo enters and she continues, but when Dustin comes in, she stops immediately and blushes. Then she cracks a smile when she sees Eduardo still working at the stain with the washcloth. “Aw, Eduardo, stop worrying about the stain. It’s a cute dad thing,” she says, and gives him one of her rare smiles. 

He reddens a little and puts the washcloth down. “Aubrey, this is my friend Dustin; we went to college together, and Dustin, this is Aubrey, she’s Hayden’s nanny.” 

She coughs a little and Eduardo can tell that she’s still a little flushed as Dustin gives her one of his silly, ridiculous waves. “Hi,” he says, and Eduardo can tell that he’s putting on a bit of the charm. Aubrey seems determined to remain poker faced, and so she reciprocates with just a nod and her patented blank look. 

Then Dustin’s eyes fall to Hayden, and his face immediately becomes cartoonish. “Hey buddy! I’m your Uncle Dustin!” he says, reaching out his arms for Aubrey to give him Hayden, which she does, and then steps away and suddenly becomes very interested in fishing through her bag for something. 

Dustin seems completely at ease with holding Hayden, not at all awkward. He gives Hayden his finger to grab at while continuing to make exaggerated faces and speaking in a dramatic, cooing voice. “You’re a cute munchkin, aren’t you? I’m gonna make sure you’re completely spoiled, okay? I’m pretty rich, not as rich as Mark, but richer than your daddy, so I can buy you all kinds of cool toys and--”

“Dustin,” Eduardo says warningly. “You are _not_ going to spoil him.”

“Why not Wardo, that’s practically the job of the cool uncle,” he answers without looking away from Hayden in a tone that indicates he has every intention of spoiling him regardless of Eduardo’s feelings on the matter. “ _Anyway,_ Hayden, don’t you worry about a thing, I’m gonna take good care of your daddy tonight, and, just so you know,” he lowers his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, “I’m a pretty good matchmaker too.” 

“ _Dustin!”_ he repeats, his tone more mortified than anything now. 

He hears Aubrey chuckle from behind them and Dustin finally looks up from Hayden to feign innocence at Eduardo. “What?” Eduardo glares at him. 

Hayden doesn’t seem to mind, but is instead endlessly amused by Dustin, clapping his hands and giggling. “See look, he likes it!” Dustin protests, pointing Hayden as further evidence of his guiltlessness. “He’s happy that his daddy’s gonna get a boyfriend.”

Aubrey stifles another giggle, and Dustin shoots Eduardo a pleased look and suggestive wiggling eyebrows. 

“Okay, Dustin, we should go before you scar my child any further.” He takes Hayden from him, who is still happily giggling and carrying on. Aubrey steps up to take him from Eduardo, and he continues running through his mental checklist of things to tell her before he leaves. “Aubrey. He ate some before you got here but here’s still half a bottle in the fridge if he gets hungry again. He’ll probably go down pretty easy tonight, his nap earlier was kinda short. If you manage to get a bath in before he gets all tired and whiny, you’re my hero, and if not, it’s no big deal. His pajamas are in the dresser over here--"

Aubrey rolls her eyes. “Eduardo, you do realize that this is not the first time I’ve taken care of Hayden, right?” She starts to push him out into the hall. “Seriously, go out and have fun. Don’t worry about us. And good luck in your romantic endeavors.” 

Eduardo is a little bit speechless but impressed at her forcefulness. “Okay, okay, but you have my number right, you’ll call me if anything happens?”

She rolls her eyes at him. “Yes, and stop worrying.”

“ _Very_ nice to meet you,” Dustin says, hamming it up with an exaggerated wink. 

Aubrey scowls at Dustin and makes a disgusted noise, and Eduardo thinks he hears her mutter “idiot” as the door shuts in their faces. 

Dustin doesn’t look discouraged in the least as they go down the stairs and head out the door. “Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” he tells Eduardo in an outlandish British accent. “Where’d you find her, anyway? She’s hot.”

Eduardo fixes Dustin with a stern look as they get in Dustin’s car. “Dustin, do you know how many people I had to interview before I found Aubrey? Six. _Six_ horrendous interviews. Do not defile her and make me go through that process again.” 

“Dude, chillax. I’ll be a proper gentleman,” he says with another wink. 

“Those winks aren’t making me feel any better Dustin.”

“Ugh, all those years at Harvard and you still haven’t learned to appreciate how incredibly hilarious I am. But seriously, what’s her story? She’s cute.”

Eduardo sighs heavily and acquiesces. “She’s at Stanford getting her Master’s degree in Business. She said she could use some extra cash and she had some experience, plus she was immediately great with Hayden. Plus she’s no-nonsense and doesn’t take shit. Take note,” he says pointedly, shooting Dustin another look (which is met with a rolling of eyes) before continuing. “Actually, a lot of the time she reminds me of Mark.”

“Ewwww!” Dustin bleats. “You really are trying to ruin her for me.” He makes a gagging noise. “Just because _you_ find Mark sexy--”

“Shut _up_ Dustin, if you say anything like that around tonight Mark I will _end you--_ ”

“—Doesn’t mean the rest of us do. So please don’t give me any revolting mental images that will forever scar my image of Mark or Aubrey. _Bleck._ ” Then his looks turns thoughtful. “Hey, for once you didn’t actually didn’t deny this weird attraction you have— _have always had_ —to Mark. Rebuttal?” Dustin’s smirk is so exultant Eduardo wants to slap him. 

“Yes I did!”

“No, you didn’t!”

“I totally did!”

“Denial’s not just a river in Egypt, Wardo; you _didn’t_. _You_ just told me not to say anything to Mark. So _ha._ Spill.” His tone is absolutely gloating. 

Eduardo fumes in the passenger’s seat. “You’re an idiot, Dustin.”

“Yes, but I’m an _observant_ idiot.” Eduardo says nothing. “Fine, stay quiet,” he says. “After all, anything you can say can and _will_ be used against you in the court of Dustin.”

Eduardo laughs against his will. The knot of nervous in his stomach has already loosened, and he feels much lighter. He’s actually looking forward to the rest of the night, and for the second time in only a couple of days he feels extremely grateful for Dustin.  
*  
Apparently these nights rotate between their houses, and this week it is at Mark’s. Eduardo definitely has butterflies about that, but he doesn’t want to tell Dustin and give him the satisfaction. Somehow Dustin seems to sense it anyway, because as they approach the house he chuckles and mutters, “Deep breaths, Wardo.” He takes the advice. 

He expects to have to ring the doorbell, but Dustin just turns the doorknob and strolls in. Eduardo spends about 2 minutes trying to control his breathing and gather the courage to walk in. Dustin turns around when he realizes Eduardo isn’t immediately behind him, and smiles a little bit. “Coming?” he asks. 

Eduardo gives a jerky nod and steps in, and forces himself to exhale shakily. Dustin shakes his head a little bit, like he’s amused at Eduardo’s sudden attack of nerves, and then says, “They’re in the kitchen… This way.” 

Chris and Mark are gathered around the island in the kitchen, where there is an open pizza box and a case of beer. They’re laughing about something, and Mark’s smile is full and unguarded with visible dimples, and Eduardo feels like the breath has been knocked out of it when he sees it. Smiles like that from him is so rare that Eduardo wants to take pictures of them all and keep them in his pocket for moments when he feels like the world is a cold, dark place. 

Dustin swaggers in with the classy greeting “’Sup, my peeps!” to which Chris rolls his eyes and Mark gives a chuckle (which sounds a little bit nervous, if Eduardo is willing to pretend enough). 

Eduardo ducks his head and rubs his neck shyly, trying force himself to laugh at Dustin. “Hey guys,” he says after clearing his throat. Chris and Mark both return the greeting, Chris’ more offhand than Mark’s. However, he and Mark do lock eyes and exchange smiles, and Eduardo silently congratulates himself that they managed to get through that moment in a socially acceptable amount of time without being called “emotionally stunted idiots”. Mark looks like he’s thinking the same thing. 

He can tell that Chris and Dustin are watching him interestedly, and so he coughs a little bit. “Mark, your place is nice.” Just to make the moment a little less uncomfortable. Not that he doesn’t mean it, it really is. It’s modest and clean and simple but still has a Mark-esque aura to it, being a billionaire doesn’t seem to have changed his taste to impress anyone. Admittedly, Eduardo didn’t expect it to. 

Chris seems to take this as more of a compliment than Mark does. “ _Thank you_ , Eduardo,” he says, shooting Mark a meaningful look. 

Mark just shakes his head at Chris. Then he turns to Eduardo. “Chris was a major factor in _furnishing_ the house.” 

Dustin laughs. “Well, if we left it up to Mark there would be nothing but blank walls and a Star Wars shrine. Instead, he is only allowed one Star Wars poster in the computer room.”

Mark’s response is a sort of huff. “I don’t see how the Star Wars memorabilia is any better than these ambiguous prints Chris convinced me to put up,” he says, throwing one arm back to indicate the art on the wall behind him. 

It definitely doesn’t look like Mark would have picked it out, that’s for sure. It _is_ ambiguous also, sort of a conglomerate of shapes and patterns and colors that manage to seem grown-up without being pretentious. 

Chris emits an audible sigh. His retort is directed at Eduardo instead. “Going shopping with him was hell. We settled on abstract art, because at least listening to Mark complain about how they didn’t look like anything was better than listening to him constantly ask me why he needed a picture of a tree or a clock--”

“That was the best one!” Dustin interrupts, to Mark’s chagrin. He imitates Mark’s voice. “ _Chris, why the fuck do I need a_ picture _of a clock, you are aware that I’m going to have_ actual _clocks in my home right, I’m not an idiot, you know, ones that actually_ tell _time_ \--”

Eduardo cuts them off with a loud laugh, because that sounds _exactly_ like something Mark would say. Mark is a little red, like he would like to get out of this entire conversation, but after a couple seconds he joins in on Eduardo’s giggles and then they are all laughing, voices mingling in the small kitchen and making Eduardo’s heart feel light and his head feel a little bit dizzy.  
*  
The rest of the night is a happy blur. There is food and beer (though Eduardo doesn’t drink because he still can shake this misplaced nervousness, _but_ neither does Mark, for whatever that’s worth), and Eduardo has fun. More fun that he imagined having tonight. 

Though a couple times he is surprised by how familiar everything about tonight feels. Chris beats them _all_ at Mario Kart, which is really no surprise, and Dustin accuses Chris of cheating, which is even less surprising. Then Mark points out that being able to concentrate on talking and being able to play at the same time is not technically cheating, just superior multi-tasking skills. This makes Dustin pout like a cartoon dog. Eduardo loses every game, just like college, but he really couldn’t care less. Because there isn’t a minute where he isn’t smiling, laughing, or having a good time. 

It makes him remember how much he’s missed them. Not just Mark, but Dustin and Chris too. There was a reason they were once his three favorite people in the world. Dustin’s sense of humor always helps Eduardo put things in perspective, Chris is one of the most supportive, nicest people in the world, and Mark… Well, there are just too many things to list. 

And that reminds Eduardo of something. When he was in Singapore after the dilution, he started to get this _ache_ in his chest. He actually sent to see the doctor about it several times, and there was nothing wrong. And to be completely honest, he still got it Palo Alto when he first moved there, even when he was dating Jamie, even after he found out that he was going to be a father. Until Hayden was born, the only time Eduardo could remember the ache not being there was at that event, talking to Mark and hearing him say that he wanted his best friend back. 

But now, Eduardo gets Hayden. And even more recently, he’s gotten Chris, Dustin, and Mark back. And he can’t remember the last time the ache pained him. 

He’s thinking all of this at about ten thirty or so as he’s helping Mark clean up the kitchen. Chris is still on the couch in the living room, stifling a yawn. Dustin has been singing “If You Leave”, the old eighties song, _extremely badly_ as a form of protest ever since Eduardo suggested that they should probably be heading out soon. He’s had too much to drink. And he and Mark are throwing away the empty pizza boxes, beer bottles, and soda cans, working around each other smoothly as they chat. 

“Are these nights always like this?” Eduardo asks out of vague curiosity. 

Mark smiles down as he throws some dirty napkins into a trash bag. “Sometimes,” he says. “But… I dunno. I don’t think any of us are usually this happy.”

Eduardo beams at this response, though he makes a point of not looking at Mark. Because, well. He feels exactly the same. 

The conversation is interrupted when Chris comes in, dragging a stumbling, drunken Dustin along. “It’s late,” he says, and he sounds exhausted honestly. “And Dustin should not under any circumstances drive home.” He turns to Eduardo.

Eduardo can only shrug helplessly. “I dunno where he lives, I’ve never been there before. And in Dustin’s state, I don’t think it would be wise to trust him with making sure we get to the right place.” 

Chris shakes his head at Eduardo. “It’s fine, Mark drove me here since we both had to stay late at work, so I can drive Dustin home and just sleep there.” Chris turns to Dustin now. “Which car did you bring?”

“The convertible!” Dustin exclaims, throwing his hands out. “I wanted Eduardo to see my _suh-weet_ ride.”

It was indeed a sweet ride. Eduardo didn’t know much about cars, but Dustin seemed to have purchased the most expensive car he could find. It was candy apple red with leather seats, but there was one problem. 

Chris sighed wearily, because Dustin’s convertible was a two-seater, so there was no way Eduardo could get home with them. “Eduardo, I can drive you home and then come back and pick up Dustin--”

“That’s ridiculous,” Mark cut in. “I’ll just take Eduardo home.” 

Eduardo was not expecting this offer at all, so of course he starts babbling. “Mark, you’re already here, I couldn’t ask you to do that--”

“Shut up, Wardo, really, it’s fine. I’m sure Chris would prefer it, he’s acting like he’s about to fall asleep anyway.” 

Chris nods like Mark is right, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. “Is that okay, Eduardo?” he asks carefully, like he wants to make sure that Eduardo’s comfortable, and Eduardo can’t figure out why he would even be worried about that. 

Eduardo looks at him skeptically. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

There’s a couple seconds of silence before Dustin is crying, “ _Awwwww!”_ at an unreasonably loud volume, and throwing himself at Eduardo for a hug, all loose, drunken limbs so that Eduardo ends up catching him more than anything. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Mark says, with an amused tone in his voice. 

When Dustin speaks again, he sounds like he’s almost crying. “I’m just so _happy!_ World War Three is _over_ , guys! It’s over and we can all be friends again and Mark and Wardo can--”

“Oooohkay buddy,” Chris says, pulling Dustin back so that Dustin is slumped against him. Eduardo is sending up silent _thank-you_ prayers that Chris cut Dustin off when he did. “Let’s get you home.” 

“We’re gonna do this again, right?” Dustin slurs as Chris helps him to the door. Mark chuckles faintly. “Eduardo, it’s totally at your house next week!” And then he returns to crooning Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark. “Seven years went under the bridge like time standing stilllllllll…heaven knows what happens now, you've got to—you’ve gotta _say_ you willllllll!”

Chris’ voice just _sounds_ like he’s rolling his eyes. “Bye, guys!” he calls as the door closes behind them. 

They stand there, frozen in the kitchen for a couple more moments, smiling at the whole situation and looking down at their feet, until Mark says, “We should probably get going,” and Eduardo nods. 

So Mark drives Eduardo home. Which is. Well. Eduardo feels a little bit giddy about that, as much as he tries not to. The blithe mood of the evening remains, and the two of them converse easily the whole way to Eduardo’s house, about everything and nothing all at once. They are at Eduardo’s house far too soon for his liking, and his gets that heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach again, the kind that seems like regret. 

They pull into the driveway and Mark puts the car in park, and he lets his hand linger on the gearshift afterwards. “Um,” Eduardo begins, and he can feel the anxiety that rattled him earlier in the evening quickly return. “I would invite you in to see Hayden, but he’s asleep.”

Mark’s laugh sounds a little bit nervous too, or at least Eduardo lets himself believe it is. “It’s fine,” he says, and his voice is practically a murmur. 

They remain in silence for a little longer, and something is telling Eduardo that Mark is experiencing the same heavy feeling that he is. So he closes his eyes for just a moment, no more than a handful of seconds really, and indulges himself in imagining that he is brave. He visualizes himself covering Mark’s hand on the gearshift and filling the spaces between Mark’s fingers with his own. He pictures himself surging forward and stretching into the driver’s seat to crowd into Mark’s space and close the distance between their lips, and kissing Mark until they are both breathless. 

But then Eduardo opens his eyes, and he knows he cannot do any of those things. Though it doesn’t stop him from wishing that he could. 

Mark breaks the silence, and his words are a little louder now. “You know, you really don’t have to do this again if you don’t want to,” he says. “I know that Dustin said that—but you know—Dustin’s an idiot and—well, you already knew that, but--” 

“Hey,” Eduardo breaks in, “I want to.” 

Mark looks a little hopeful. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Eduardo assures him. 

“Okay,” Mark responds with a small smile. 

This is what finally calms Eduardo enough to get out of the car. He grins back at Mark as he says goodbye and shuts the door. 

He walks up to his doorway, and refuses to look back at Mark sitting in his car until he has the front door of the house cracked open. Then he turns around and allows himself to give Mark a shy wave, and he can see Mark laughing back through the windshield before he drives away. 

Eduardo enters his house, and leans his back against the door and exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and lets himself smile so big that it seems like his face may crack in half. He realizes: the spot in the chest that used to pain him? It feels… full. In a good way. 

He hears Aubrey approach and can see her in the soft light. “Well,” she whispers, so Eduardo can tell Hayden is asleep. “You look happy.”

Eduardo clamps down a little on his grin, but it still doesn’t go away (he doesn’t think it will any time soon). He shrugs. “I had a good night.” 

She gives him a knowing look in response, and Eduardo blushes. “What about you,” he shoots back. “ _Someone_ has a crush on the biggest goofball I know.”

Aubrey rolls her eyes and gives him a glare. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she maintained as Eduardo stepped away from the door as he paid Aubrey and moved to let her out. Eduardo responds with an overdramatic wink and thumbs up, to which Aubrey sticks out her tongue as she walks back to her car. 

As Eduardo heads up to check on Hayden and then go to bed, he can’t help but think how excited he is for next week.  
*

By the time next Friday really does roll around, some of the excitement has worn off and been replaced with worry. He’s actually not nervous this time (thank _god)_ , though he guesses that makes sense. The more time he spends with Mark the more the nerves are going to wear off, right? 

So it’s not anxiety. It’s just this _uneasiness_. He doesn’t actually know what it’s from, he just has had this really bad feeling all day that _something’s_ going to go wrong. So when he goes out to buy beer after he gets home in the afternoon, he double and triple checks the buckles on Hayden’s carseat, and he calls the Valencias to make sure that everything’s okay with them at the hotel, and then he calls his assistant Claire a couple times to make sure nothing’s wrong there either. But none of it makes him feel better. 

Eduardo forces himself to relax. Eventually seven thirty hits and he forgets about it anyway; he’s too busy getting ready. 

Mark gets there first, at seven forty-five. Eduardo had been getting a semi-sleepy Hayden ready for bed, finishing up a bath and putting on pajamas, until Mark rings the doorbell and Eduardo has to run down to open the door for him, carrying Hayden (who is only in his diaper so far, but he’s clean and that’s what’s important). Mark blinks at the sight for a minute, and then laughs. “Great welcoming committee,” he says. 

Eduardo huffs good-naturedly. “Bath time took longer than anticipated,” he explains, trying to smooth down Hayden’s stubborn hair. Hayden just points at Mark and squeals. 

This makes Mark light up like a Christmas tree. “Hey buddy,” he says by way of greeting, smiling exaggeratedly and extending his index finger, which Hayden grabs onto immediately and giggles. 

“We were just getting ready for bed, weren’t we?” Eduardo coos down at Hayden, and then he sighs when he hears another car pull up. 

Mark glances out the window. “It’s Chris and Dustin,” he reports, and then, lower, “Chris insisted on driving Dustin after last time.” 

Eduardo throws his head back and laughs, and replies, “Good call.” 

Dustin and Chris make their way in too, and are of course utterly charmed by Hayden and want to hold him and Dustin wants to make funny faces (Mark retorts that Dustin’s face is already funny, which earns him a glare) and Eduardo sighs affably as he watches his son, who not half an hour ago was falling asleep during his bottle, seemingly recharge and have all this energy to _play_. “Of course now that people are here we don’t want to go to bed.”

Chris, who is currently holding Hayden, looks guilty. “Oh, sorry man, we didn’t know--”

Eduardo shakes his head to cut off any further apologizes. “It’s fine, it’s been a long day, he’ll tucker out in…” he slips a quick glance at his watch, “fifteen minutes, I’m sure.” 

In fifteen minutes, sure enough, Hayden’s eyes are drooping as Mark holds him as they sit together on the couch, which looks like it is melting Mark’s heart just a little bit. Eduardo looks away from the current round of the game (what does it matter, he’s losing as usual anyway) to admire the sight, and Mark looks up and catches Eduardo’s eye. He colors a little bit. Eduardo just smiles in response and doesn’t say anything, like it’s their little secret that Mark has a soft side that actually loves babies. 

Shortly thereafter, he goes and puts Hayden to bed. He goes back downstairs and plays for another twenty minutes until the phone rings. 

Eduardo is not playing this round, so he jumps up to answer it quickly, still laughing as he answers from hearing Dustin’s battle cry and then Mark and Chris shush him as Eduardo picks up the receiver. 

“Hello?”

“Mr. Saverin.” It’s not a question, and the tone is somber. Eduardo feels like he can almost recognize the voice, like it’s on the tip of his tongue, but it’s being distorted just enough by the phone call that it’s unfamiliar. 

“Yes, who is this?” 

“Mr. Saverin, this is Nurse Martha. I’m afraid we have bad news.” 

Eduardo feels like the air has been knocked out of him immediately, because he knows who is on the other end, and he knows what the call is about, he knows why he’s been feeling on edge all day. He wishes he could be in any other part of his life than where he is right now, because he can feel it coming. 

“Jamie Valencia passed away this evening.” 

The nurse follows with a slew of details and goes into an explanation of what exactly happened, but Eduardo feels like he’s just nodding along without really comprehending what’s going on. He’s saying “uh huh” at all the appropriate moments and then the nurse is expressing how very sorry everyone at the hospital is for his loss, and informing him that they’ll be calling the Valencia’s at their hotel next and then asking him to come in first thing tomorrow morning. Eduardo agrees and hangs up. 

He wanders back into the living room numbly, and he must look confused or frozen or something when he sits back down, because Dustin pauses the game and next thing they are all looking at him. They must have asked a question but Eduardo didn’t hear. “Jamie…” he begins, but he can’t seem to form the words and string them together so he just shakes his head. 

Chris nods understandably and looks down at the couch, Dustin looks shocked, and Mark looks… bereft, uncomprehending. 

Eduardo doesn’t know what to do so he just starts talking and immediately all these stories about Jamie start coming out. And the three of them listen, and react at the right moments with laughter and once or twice tears, and Eduardo talks until his voice feels hoarse and he can’t talk anymore.

The conversation shifts, and then the three of them are telling personal stories too. Chris is telling about getting beat up in high school for being openly gay, and Dustin is talking about confessing his feelings to a girl he had a crush on for two years only to be shot down immediately. 

And then Mark starts to talk about after the depositions. He doesn’t actually call them the “depositions” or say the word “dilution”, but they all know what the subject is. He merely says he felt a clawing loneliness, and that he genuinely hated himself for a year and even harbored suicidal thoughts once or twice before he started seeing a therapist who helped him work out a lot of issues. Which, in all honestly, Eduardo can not only identify with completely, but hearing that come from Mark is like a godsend. Just to know that Mark felt the same way, the same crushing depression and emptiness and the feelings that he didn’t have anything to live for… To know that Eduardo's feelings after the depositions were not one-sided means more than he can say.

None of them can quite remember how, but the heavy tone of the discussion gradually morphs, and then they are all reminiscing about Harvard. This makes them all feel a lot better, and Eduardo feels like he can actually function. When he checks his watch, he balks to see that it is now twelve-thirty a.m., and he immediately starts apologizing. “Seriously guys, last time at ten-thirty you said it was late, I didn’t mean to keep you all this long, I’m so sorry…”

“Wardo,” Chris says after Eduardo trails off. “We’re staying. You shouldn’t be alone tonight.” 

And so Eduardo goes and gets Chris set up in the guest room, and then Dustin set up on the futon in the office, and then lastly Mark on the couch in the living room. Eduardo’s about to leave when Mark says his name quietly, like he’s not sure he wants him to hear it. Eduardo turns around, and Mark is looking at him directly in the eye. “I meant what I said. About the um. The depositions.”

Eduardo just nods at him. “I know, Mark.”

“But not just that,” Mark says, like he’s frustrated that he can’t get the words out. “I’m sorry. For that and for Jamie and for… so much Wardo.”

Eduardo smiles a sad smile back at him. Because he knows exactly how Mark feels. Eduardo is sad that he never told Mark how he felt at Harvard, he’s sorry that he didn’t come out to California, he’s sorry he froze that bank account and he’s sorry for the lawsuit and tonight he is sorry for Jamie. And so much else in between that it would be impossible to count. “Mark,” he whispers. “I know.”

Mark exhales, and Eduardo turns around and heads to bed.  
*  
It turns out that tonight Hayden may actually be able to sleep through the night. 

Eduardo knows this because it is now three-thirty in the morning and he has not been able to close his eyes once. 

The whole thing didn’t actually hit him until he crawled into bed. Then his brain started racing a mile a minute about _everything_ : Hayden and Jamie and Mark. All these horrible little voices are planting devastating thoughts, like _Hayden’s seen his mommy for the last time_ and _we didn’t visit her today_ and _there’s a funeral to plan and people to call_ and _I can’t even tell Jamie about what happened with Mark._

He starts downstairs in the hopes that if he gets up for a minute or two it will shake the voices away. But he can’t even make it all the way down. He collapses as soon as he hits the bottom of the stairs, crumpling into a ball. Eduardo is gasping constantly but he can’t seem to get any air into his lungs and he feels like every part of his body is trembling. Then he is sobbing, so forcefully and so suddenly that he actually can’t recall the moment he started crying. 

There is a noise around the corner, and Eduardo could kick himself, because he just remembered Mark is down here and he was probably sleeping at that. So Eduardo feels even more terrible than before. 

Mark rounds the corner and sees Eduardo in the state that he’s in, and he reacts immediately. He drops to his knees so that they’re on the same level and puts his hands on Eduardo’s shoulders, making desperate eye contact for a couple seconds. Then he is pushing Eduardo’s face down so that Eduardo is sobbing into Mark’s neck and clawing at Mark’s t-shirt. And they just stay like that, neither of them saying anything, until half an hour later when Eduardo’s caught his breath and there aren’t any more cries wracking through his body. 

When they reach that point, Mark moves so that they’re sitting together on the bottom step with their sides pressed together and Eduardo’s head on Mark’s shoulder. Eduardo finally clears his throat and attempts to speak. 

“I’m all Hayden’s got now,” he says, his voice barely a murmur. “That’s it, just me. I’m his one and only parent. And what if… What if I can’t do this. I mean, look at my dad, what if that happens to _me_ , Mark? I haven’t spoken to him since before the depositions. What if I can’t be what Hayden needs, what if I turn out to be a terrible father? I don’t want that to happen,” he confesses as he lets a silent tear fall. It’s a fear that’s been hiding in the back of his mind since he got the phone call but he couldn’t work up the courage to say it out loud. 

“Wardo,” Mark repeats, his voice careful but still managing to crack. “I’ve seen you with Hayden. You’re an _amazing_ dad. I’ve never seen anyone love their kid the way you do. You’re not gonna become your father; you’re already _completely_ different and better in so many ways. And that’s not gonna change.”

Eduardo lets Mark’s words sink in for a few minutes before he nods against Mark’s shoulder. He believes Mark, he does. But it doesn’t make the worry go away. 

Mark takes Eduardo’s hand and pulls him up and then when they’re both standing, he intertwines their fingers together. He leads Eduardo back to his room and tucks him into bed and gives his hand one last squeeze before he leaves the room, accompanied with the whisper, “Hayden’s so incredibly _lucky_ to have you for a dad.”

And Eduardo feels… he feels so immensely thankful for Mark, and he gives Mark a watery smile back. Then he says a soft “goodnight” as Mark closes the door on the way out.

Before Eduardo falls asleep, there are some things he definitely _does not_ do.

He does _not_ hold his hand to his face, pressing his lips to the spaces in between his fingers where Mark’s were. 

He does _not_ cling to a pillow and imagine that he is holding Mark’s body to his own. 

He does _not_ rack his brain for that list he composed after that night in the rain of all the reasons he and Mark couldn’t be together (which at one point had twenty-seven different bullet points on it) to remind himself why this was a bad idea. 

(But, for full disclosure, that last one shouldn’t count, because he can’t remember a single one of the twenty-seven bullets anyway.)


	4. Chapter 4

Somehow, Eduardo makes it through everything that comes next, even though at times it is a struggle. And he’s not kidding himself, there have been times in his life that have been hard, but this is by far the hardest. He feels like he’s taking it minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day. 

More than anything else, the week and a half that follows teaches him so much about family. 

The Valencias, as usual, are a blessing. Eduardo would have expected them to be as stricken as he was, but somehow when Eduardo is there, they are the picture of composure and support. 

“How do you do it?” he asks Mrs. Valencia one afternoon, sitting at the kitchen table late one night. She looks up at him curiously. “You, all of you,” he elaborates, running his hand through his hair quickly and trying not to feel embarrassed. “I feel like I’m a mess all the _time_ , but every time I see any of you, you’re nothing but compassionate and helpful and understanding… I wish I could do that,” he confesses. And it’s true. He wants to be there for them as much as they are there for him but sometimes it is just _too much._ It gets so bad he can barely take it, and Eduardo feels like he can barely  
get out of bed. There are days when all he wants to do is just wants to curl up with Hayden and not have to face the harsh reality. _Jamie is no more. Hayden doesn’t have a mother. I’m in this alone_.

Mrs. Valencia smiles at him knowingly and moves her chair a little closer. “Eduardo sweetie, I know you,” she murmurs. “And I know that you’re used to being the rock for everyone. So,” she says, rubbing a soothing hand over his back, “Let us be your rock right now. That’s what family does for each other.” 

When she explains it like that, Eduardo thinks that he understands it a little better.  
*  
He may have gained a brand new family with the Valencias, but he’s also gotten a second chance with another family. 

Dustin, Chris, and Mark were his family back at Harvard. He remembers during college, when he would go home over Christmas break and just be counting the days until he got to go back and enjoy lazy Friday nights in the Kirkland dorm or just lay on Mark’s bed while he coded, trying to study Econ. Even at the time he realized how backwards that was, knew that most kids spent all semester looking forward to break with people they were actually _related_ to when they could lounge around and do nothing, but Eduardo _hated_ it. He hated it for so many reasons; his father was just one of them (though he pushes the thought of his father out of his mind as quickly as it appeared). 

And that’s a little bit how the years in Singapore felt. Like he was just counting the days (hours, even, at times) until he got his friends back. And now that he’s been on the other side, he can appreciate it all that much more. 

That week and a half, he may only see them face-to-face once, but he is basically never out of contact with any of them. Chris and Dustin seem to alternate days, with Chris calling him and chatting about seemingly everything and nothing, Dustin sending him ridiculous picture messages of Chris shielding his face, or Mark glaring at the camera (though once there was one of him asleep on his keyboard, which Eduardo can’t help but think is cute), or pictures of kittens doing adorable things that he found on the internet (the text accompanying those messages looks like Dustin just slammed his phone on the nearest hard surface and sent whatever came out). 

And then there is Mark. 

He’s pretty much always in contact with Mark, in one form or another. There are text messages, emails that zip back and forth during their respective meetings, and when they’re both online, Facebook chatting. But Eduardo’s favorites are the calls that start after he’s put Hayden to bed and continue way past when they should, until Eduardo finally falls asleep on the phone. 

Mrs. Valencia will come down in the morning to get her cup of morning tea to find him cuddled up on the couch, phone still clutched between his shoulder and his ear, softly snoring. She’ll shake him awake gently and say knowingly but kindly (and always with a soft smile), “Didn’t make it to bed again, hmm?” Which inevitably makes Eduardo blush. 

The three of them are his lifeline, and with everything that’s going on with preparations for the funeral, he needs one. Everything in his life seems so _heavy_ right now, and the only breaks he gets are with Hayden or one of the guys. 

However, the one time he _does_ sees them in person that week illustrates exactly what Mrs. Valencia had been trying to tell him: family is there for each other.  
*  
The morning of the funeral is more hectic than most. The Valencias spent the night there instead of at the hotel, so they can all get up and be organized in the morning, and so there is a lot of rushing around. Eduardo’s also already worrying about the speech he’s going to give, and to top it all off Hayden looks beyond uncomfortable in his little formal outfit. 

By the time they get to the funeral home and are setting up, Hayden is snuffling a little and has been working up a cry for a while, despite the fact that Kelly has been holding him and playing with him and giving him all her attention for about half an hour. Eduardo is rushing around trying to make sure everything is in place and ready, but Hayden just keeps reaching out for him with grabby hands every time he walks by and it’s breaking Eduardo’s heart, so he finally caves. He whispers a quick “thanks for trying” to Kelly, who gives Eduardo a sympathetic look before rushing away to help out the others. 

“I know, I know, this all sucks,” he whispers into Hayden’s hair as he rocks him back and forth. He still hasn’t managed to let out a full-out cry, just pathetic whimpering, which is almost _worse._

And so Eduardo misses greeting most of the guests as they file in because he’s too busy trying to get Hayden to calm down, so when he looks up and Mark, Chris, and Dustin are making their way towards him, he can't help but heave a sigh of relief. 

He had invited them on a whim, not even being sure they would accept seeing as Chris and Mark only met Jamie once, and Dustin not at all, but he’s so glad to see them. 

“Hey Eduardo,” Chris begins, looking warily from Eduardo to Hayden. Eduardo supposes that it’s understandable… Between the heavy atmosphere of the funeral home, Hayden’s insistent whining, and Eduardo’s frazzled expression, he’s sure he looks like as much of a train wreck as he feels. 

“Hey,” Eduardo responds, trying to come off as composed, but the sympathetic look he receives from the three of them in return informs him otherwise. 

Mark regards Eduardo and Hayden with an uncertain look before wordlessly reaching out and gently prying Hayden from Eduardo’s arms. Hayden continues to wail a little bit as Mark gives him a once over, and then skillfully unbuttons the top button on Hayden’s tiny collar with one hand while he cradles Hayden in the other arm. “It was pinching him a little bit,” he explains, almost apologetically, when he looks up at an amazed Eduardo, who is currently feeling like the worst father in the world for not noticing that. It must show on his face because Mark immediately asks, “Are you okay?” 

For some reason the question hits him like a ton of bricks. He’s been asked it a lot since Jamie died, but there’s just something about the way Mark _says_ it. Usually Mark is so straightforward and matter-of-fact, but there’s a tone of genuine concern and faltering in those three words that makes it so different. As if Mark is actually _worried_ about him—not just asking to ask because that’s what you do, but because he cares. Besides, Mark rarely says anything just because everyone _else_ does.

Eduardo tries to conceal how touched he is and allows himself to give Mark a small smile. “As okay as I’m going to be today,” he answers honestly, and Mark seems to be thankful for that.

Chris clears his throat a little, as if to remind them both that there are other people in the conversation, and Dustin is just shooting Eduardo this annoyingly knowing look, which Eduardo ignores in favor of turning to Chris and looking a little embarrassed. They both smirk at him, the bastards. 

“Listen,” Eduardo begins, once he has gotten his blushing under control. “Thanks for coming. I didn’t know—I wasn’t sure… I know you didn’t really _know_ Jamie, but it means a lot that you’re here anyway.” His voice cracks a little on the last word, but fuck it, he can’t bring himself to care. If you can’t get emotional at a funeral, than where can you?

Their reactions are so very different and somehow still very quintessential of them. Chris is looking at him with empathy in his eyes, Dustin’s smile is soft and a little sad, but it is Mark’s reaction that Eduardo zeroes in on.

Mark’s face is completely blank as he shrugs and says, “Of course Wardo. We’re here for you.” 

Eduardo is caught a little off-guard by the choice of words—he doesn’t know if Mark remembers their meaning or if it was just coincidental (there’s a little bit of a twinkle in Mark’s eyes, which allows him to hope)—but he feels so far away from and so much older than that kid who swaggered into Kirkland at 2:08 am who was so afraid to be happy that his best friend broke up with his girlfriend, so conflicted about his own feelings and saddled with so much guilt. 

So he gives Mark a little bit of a grin and says, “I appreciate that,” before scuffing the toe of his shoe into the carpet and biting the inside of his cheek to chase away the smile. 

The music starts then, indicating that the service is about to get started, and Chris claps him lightly on the shoulder. “Good luck dude, okay? Everything’s gonna be fine.” 

Eduardo nods as he takes Hayden back from Mark. Chris and Dustin make their way to their seats, but Mark just kind of _looks_ at Eduardo, like, really looks at him with scrutiny, as if he’s trying to determine whether or not Eduardo was telling the truth when Eduardo said he was okay. 

So Eduardo plays it off a little bit, rolls his eyes playfully and says, “Really Mark, I’m fine,” because that is easier and definitely safer than any other alternative, no matter how much it means to him to see Mark so concerned. Mark nods once, curt, before following Chris and Dustin.  
*  
The service goes off without a hitch. Hayden is perfectly behaved (apparently the button was the only source of his discomfort), Eduardo manages not to screw up his speech, and even manages not to call anyone by the wrong name (in his defense, there are just _so_ many people). 

He and the Valenicas have arranged the final portion so that anyone can stand up and say something for Jamie, and so far, this is what has moved Eduardo to tears the most. Out of all of them, Kelly and Mrs. Valencia’s speeches touched him the most; they absolutely crucified him with their heartfelt words and now the tears are streaming down his face steadily. 

It’s been a minute or two since someone got up and said something, and so Eduardo is thinking that’s probably it. He’s about to rise and thank everyone, but just as he starts to do so, Mark is approaching the front of the room. 

Eduardo’s eyes scan wildly around the room for Chris and Dustin, for some kind of explanation. When he spots them, Chris has his palms up in the air in an _I have no idea_ gesture, and Dustin is mouthing the words _Don’t worry, it’s fine_. Eduardo hesitates for a second before he slowly sits back down and decides to take Dustin’s word for it. 

“Uh, hi,” Mark is already beginning from the front of the room, looking out across the people and seeming just a tad nervous. Eduardo’s heart does a cartwheel as Hayden turns towards the noise, recognizes Mark, and gives a happy squeal. It’s quite loud, and the audience laughs. Mark blushes, and Eduardo’s heart feels very full. 

Mark starts again. “I only met Jamie once, but um… hearing everyone talk about her and tell all these stories made me realize that it was kind of a perfect example of how she was and I just wanted to share it with you all.” He looks out into the audience and his eyes find Eduardo, as if he’s looking for some kind of permission, which is ridiculous, because he absolutely doesn’t need to ask for it, but Eduardo inclines his head a little anyway and Mark continues. 

“I meet a lot of people in my line of work, and I’ve kind of noticed that people are usually pretty self-centered the first time they meet someone. They like, list their accomplishments and talk about their interests and it’s all just kind of vain, honestly.” The audience laughs a little bit at that, and Eduardo feels a surge of pride for Mark and can’t stop himself from beaming. As for Mark, he smiles a little shyly before continuing. 

“I mean, it makes sense, first impressions are important. But when I met Jamie, she was the exact opposite.” Mark looks down and smiles at the memory. “She went out of her way to pull me aside and I couldn’t figure out why. And immediately she started talking about Eduardo—he and I weren’t exactly sure of where we stood at that point—about what a great dad he is and how proud she was of him and what an…” Mark pauses for a moment, as if he’s trying to work up the courage to say the words, “…open heart, he has. It wasn’t about her at all. And frankly, from hearing what you all have said, that’s completely in line with who she was: selfless, compassionate, down-to-earth… Not only was it totally different and refreshing to meet someone like that, but it also paid off. By the end of that weekend, Eduardo and I were back to being friends, and I think really we— _I_ —owe that to Jamie.” 

Mark exhales, like he’s trying to calm himself down, and then says “thank you” and returns to his seat. 

There are other tributes and speeches to Jamie, but Eduardo can’t recall a single word of any of them. He’s too busy sending up a silent prayer of thanks to Jamie, and he can’t help but feel like she’s smiling down at him right then.  
*  
Mark approaches him as people are filing out of the funeral home, expressing their condolences. Eduardo is bone tired but is trying to put on his best face for all of it, because he knows that they mean well even though he just wants to lie down on his bed and collapse. 

But when Mark is the person at the front of the line, all the exhaustion that Eduardo feels weighing down on him in that moment is suddenly _gone_ , as if it was lifted from his shoulders the moment he saw Mark. 

“Mark,” he says, tripping over the word in his haste to get it out as quickly as he can, because _he needs Mark to hear this._ “Thank you, thank you so much for what you said, it was just, it was really perfect, and--”

He’s rambling, so he is really thankful when Mark cuts him off suddenly by stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Eduardo in a hug. At first Eduardo is too shocked to do anything, but it isn’t long before his brain catches up with what’s happening and he’s hugging back, clinging to Mark like he’s a life raft. 

It occurs to him suddenly that he doesn’t think he’s _ever_ hugged Mark, and his brain is clamoring at him to memorize every detail of the moment ( _the feel of Mark's fingers curled around him, Mark's breath warm against his neck_ ), but before he can get around to processing it the hug is over. Mark pulls back and Eduardo knows he is looking at Mark like he’s a little bit dazed, and Mark holds his gaze for no longer than a second before looking down at his fidgeting hands like he doesn’t know quite what to say. 

“I’m really sorry, Eduardo,” he manages, and then as he walks away he adds, almost as an afterthought, “Let me know if you need anything.” 

He’s out the door before Eduardo can finally work up his reply of, “Sure.”  
*  
The Valencias stay three more days before they head back home, just to help Eduardo with the transition and make sure he’s alright. In that time, he hears from Chris and Dustin, but no word from Mark. 

Eduardo doesn’t know if Mark is uncomfortable with or embarrassed about what happened, but he is determined to keep himself from worrying. It turns out not to be that difficult; there is a lot still to do and mostly he manages to keep himself busy. 

The hardest day by far is the day the Valenicas leave. Kelly and Peter left early in the morning, but it’s Mr. and Mrs. Valencia packing up their car and getting ready to go in the afternoon that hurts. He’s so _scared_ because after this, it’s just him: no safety net of grandparents to help out in a pinch or give advice at the drop of a hat or keep him sane. It’s enough to make Eduardo want to cry, or scream, or throw himself down on the driveway and give a righteous tantrum, Hayden-style. 

He goes to shake Mr. Valencia’s hand but gets pulled into a hug instead, who laughs kindly as he makes his way to the driver’s seat at Eduardo’s look of surprise. Then Mrs. Valencia is stepping towards him and saying, “Well. This is it.” 

Eduardo sighs. “Are you sure you both don’t want to just move in?” he asks, only half joking. 

But she laughs him off. “You’ll be fine. You’re a fantastic dad, and if you ever need us, we’re only a phone call away. You know that.” 

Eduardo nods. Mrs. Valencia steps forward and kisses Hayden on the top of the head. “Be good for Daddy!” she coos, as Hayden gives her a toothless smile, which makes her laugh a little. Then she looks up at Eduardo. “You know, it may feel like everything’s a mess right now, but you’re actually doing really well. You have so many people in your corner, so many people rooting for you… All of us included,” she says, jerking her thumb at the car with her husband inside. Then she shrugs. “Life is just messy.” 

Eduardo laughs a little, and she does too. Her expression sobers quickly as she adds, “Eduardo? About that boy?”

He realizes that he’s holding his breath a little as she says it (and he knew it was coming, he did, but even as he looks into her kind eyes he still feels nervous). 

She smiles. “It’s inevitable,” she finally says, and Eduardo exhales. 

“Thanks,” he replies a little gruffly, voice ragged with emotion as he fights back tears. She pulls him into a hug and murmurs, “of course.” 

Eduardo and Hayden watch them drive away, and Eduardo lifts Hayden’s hand and makes him wave, to which Hayden giggles, as they make their way into the distance. 

He doesn’t know what will come next, but he feels like whatever it is, it’s not impossible.  
*  
The day after the Valencias leave is a Saturday, and Chris calls up almost immediately and suggests that the four of them go somewhere for lunch. Eduardo agrees easily, because the last thing he wants today is for he and Hayden to sit around the house with nothing to do but feel sorry for themselves, but also because he knows that Chris is trying to distract him and he appreciates it. 

Chris texts him the address, and when he gets there everyone else has already arrived. Chris selected a quaint, family restaurant with a pleasant atmosphere, so Eduardo instantly feels guilty when Hayden starts to be fussy (almost immediately after they order), because he _knows_ they’re getting glares from the table behind them. 

Apparently he isn’t the only one to notice. Dustin leans to Chris. “Can I flip them off right now.” It’s a question, but Dustin’s tone is definitely not inquiring in the least. 

“No,” Chris says calmly, decidedly. “I’d prefer if you didn’t create a scene, Dustin.”

“Jesus Christ, it’s so _annoying_ ,” Dustin exhales, like even though he knew that would be the answer, he’s still disappointed in it. Then he raises his voice, so as to be sure the other table hears him. “It’s like they _haven’t seen a baby before!”_ and shoots them a glare. 

“Did they have the good grace to look ashamed of themselves?” Chris asks without looking up from his menu. 

Dustin makes a disgusted noise and mutters, “Not enough for my taste.” 

And Eduardo feels an indefinable feeling swell in his chest, because he is so grateful for his friends and for the fact that that even after everything that’s happened between them, they can be like this. Eduardo knows that it hasn’t been easy. There have been misunderstandings and bumps in the road and uncertainty, and he remembers wishing for so many days that things would just miraculously work themselves out in an instant. But it didn’t work like that. All of them had to fight for this, to repair their friendship, and Eduardo feels like they’re better for it. He doesn’t say anything though, just smiles to himself as he bounces Hayden up and down in his lap in a vain effort to get him to quiet. 

This is when Mark, who has been alternating between glaring at the rude table behind them and grinning at Dustin’s antics and is currently doing the latter, reaches out for Hayden, expression morphed into a ridiculous, silly face as he does so. Because Hayden is ceaselessly enamored by Mark, he immediately gurgles and reaches out for Mark, and then squeals excitedly as Mark arranges him in his lap. Eduardo sighs in relief, and turns around to look at the table behind him, who are all having the decency to look very interested in their menus. 

He reaches out for Mark’s knee, because it is the only neutral part of him that is in reach, and gives it a squeeze. “Thanks, Mark,” he says, and Mark returns the gesture with a small smile and an amiable shrug, like _it was nothing_. 

Eduardo casts his eyes up to see Chris looking at him shrewdly, and Dustin’s face like a good-hearted _you’ve got to be fucking kidding me._ Eduardo responds by miming zipping his lips, but he has to literally bite his tongue to fight off his grin. 

The lunch is light-hearted, and Eduardo is glad. It’s without a doubt the most cheerfully he’s done anything since he got that phone call from the hospital. He enjoys delicious food, catches up with Chris, listens to Dustin’s ridiculous story about something or other, and watches Mark entertain Hayden seemingly effortlessly. Every once in a while Hayden looks over at him, like he’s just making sure he’s still there, and Eduardo leans forward and tickles Hayden’s belly, but mostly Hayden is just happy to sit in Mark’s lap and listen to him talk or bounce him up and down or to try and put Mark’s fingers in his mouth. 

It’s winding down when something strange happens. 

Eduardo sees someone on the other side of the restaurant squinting their way, like he’s trying to make something out. His first instinct is that the guy is probably paparazzi, so he tenses as a look of comprehension dawns on the stranger’s face and he starts to head over. 

He’s about to open his mouth when the guy steps forward and says, “Mark?” in a tone of something like… astonishment. 

Mark looks up at the sound of his name, and his face morphs in a second from grinning at Hayden to shock as he sees the guy. “Uh, Walden…” Mark gets out somewhat stiltedly, standing up to face him. They both stand there awkwardly before Mark realizes he is still holding Hayden, so he turns around and gives Hayden back to Eduardo. Eduardo bites his lip and looks away, because this is clearly not the time to think that Mark is adorable. 

The warm, fuzzy feelings he gets when he thinks those type of thoughts immediately plummet when this guy—Walden, apparently—immediately steps forward and hugs Mark. Eduardo thinks he knows where this is going, however. Eduardo has witnessed Mark take part in maybe five hugs in all the time he’s known him. The one from the funeral (which is clearly an exception), one or two from his mom back in college, and a couple attack hugs from Dustin. The common denominator in all of them but the funeral hug is that they were all initiated by the other person, and Mark just stood there awkwardly, his face contorted like he was counting the seconds until the hug is over. 

So Eduardo is stunned when after a moment, Mark slowly raises his arms and reciprocates. Eduardo digs his fingernails into his palms until there are little crescent mark indentations there, and finds _himself_ counting the seconds until this asshole lets go of Mark. It’s ten Mississippi’s, which feels unnecessarily long to Eduardo. 

When they finally step back, Walden breathes out slowly and asks, “How are you?”

“I’m great,” Mark replies, wiping his palms on his jeans (Eduardo is rediscovering that this is a nervous habit of Mark’s). He winces as soon as it’s out of his mouth, like that’s the wrong thing to say, and shakes his head almost imperceptibly. Walden, on the other hand, smiles a little, like he’s… _charmed_ or something by this, which just makes no fucking sense at all to Eduardo. “What about you?” Mark adds, obviously an afterthought, and Walden smiles at this too. _What the hell is wrong with this guy,_ Eduardo can’t help thinking. Because, really. No one should be smiling that much unless they are a cartoon. 

Walden quits fighting his smile and lets it break into a fully, toothy grin before ducking his head and scratching his neck. “I’ve been better,” he allows, looking back up and meeting Mark’s eyes. 

Mark nods, like he feels guilty or something, and seriously, _who is this version of Mark_. “I—I’m sorry,” he says, and it sounds like he means it. 

Walden smirks back at Mark. “It’s okay, Mark,” he replies, in such an understanding tone that Eduardo wants to gag. 

Relief washes over Mark’s face obviously, and Walden chuckles a little. “Look,” Walden begins with his _stupid fucking smile_ , “We should get coffee sometime. I still have your number… if you’re up for it,” he says somewhat nervously. Mark is nodding before Walden’s even finished his sentence, and Eduardo glares down at his plate because he suddenly feels sick to his stomach. 

Walden looks down, and he finally seems to realize that there are other people present because he runs his hand through his hair kind of nervously and blushes. “Hey, Chris, Dustin!” he says, working up some excitement as he says it. 

Eduardo drags his eyes away to Chris and Dustin for the first time since this _Walden character_ showed up, and watches them recompose their faces. Previously, Chris had been wearing a nervous expression, while Dustin’s was more like _oh shit this is happening._

They both stand up and shake hands with the guy only semi-uncomfortably. Then he turns to Eduardo and extends a hand. “Hey, I don’t think we’ve met, I’m Walden.” He even leans down so Eduardo doesn’t have to get up, the considerate _bastard._

So Eduardo works up his most charming smile and disentangles one of his arms from holding Hayden so they can shake hands and replies, “Hi, I’m Eduardo. Eduardo Saverin.”

And Walden just _freezes._

Which Eduardo was not expecting, quite honestly. 

Walden’s back to collected in mere seconds, however, though his smile, which had been so genuine beforehand, is a little more strained. “Nice to make your acquaintance,” Walden says politely. 

_Oh, so that’s how we’re going to play it,_ Eduardo thinks to himself. Because it’s clear that Walden has some idea of who Eduardo is; the reaction gave him away. The name definitely rang a bell. And the whole ordeal just makes Eduardo that much more _frustrated_. He likes to have the upper hand most of the time, but this Walden guy seems to have the whole situation figured out while Eduardo sits in confusion, because he just can’t put together who he actually is. Nothing makes sense, because what reason could this guy possibly have to be so friendly with Mark, and why would he possibly know who Eduardo is?

“And who’s this?” he continues, wrinkling his eyes playfully at Hayden.

Chris steps in. “That’s Eduardo’s son, Hayden. Isn’t he adorable?”

Walden makes a funny face for Hayden, who babbles uncertainly. Eduardo can’t help but find it interesting that Hayden doesn’t seem to have warmed to Walden right away, when usually he’s happy to meet anyone. 

“He is,” Walden agrees. 

Dustin laughs. “It’s funny actually. Hayden’s uncovered one of Mark’s hidden talents: baby whispering. I swear, it’s like he thinks Mark is his second dad or some—”

The sentence is cut off abruptly and Dustin makes an _ack_ sort of sound. If Eduardo had to guess, he’d hazard that Mark or Chris (or maybe both) stepped on his foot. 

Walden’s not stupid though, he seems to have pieced together the rest of the sentence, and he looks a little unsteady at the thought, god knows why. 

But he’s turned back around to face Mark again immediately. Mark just looks really unnerved by the whole ordeal, and is clearly trying to wrap it up. “So,” he sighs, “I’ll call you. For coffee.” 

Walden looks at Mark kind of skeptically, but smiles. Then he claps him on the shoulder, saying, “Take care of yourself, okay?” Eduardo feels another flash of anger at these last words. His stomach lurches as he’s brought back to late nights at Harvard, trying to figure out the last time Mark’s eaten or slept, and the amount of times he’s said those exact same words to Mark.

Mark assures him with a jerky nod, and watches as he walks away.

When he sits back down again, he stares pointedly down at his plate and refuses to look at Chris, who is clears his throat and gives Mark a disapproving look, but doesn’t say anything. Mark is clearly trying to avoid speaking about any of it. 

The rest of the meal is uneventful, and Eduardo spends the rest of it (and the drive home, for that matter) trying to figure out what just happened.  
*  
Eduardo calls Dustin and Chris on and off the rest of the weekend, trying to get an explanation for what went on. He doesn’t try Mark, because regardless of what Dustin may say, Eduardo does understand subtlety. It ends up not mattering anyway, because neither of them pick up.

He tries to let it go, and as he goes into work on Monday he resolves he won’t worry about it anymore. That doesn’t stop him from having to consciously distract himself the whole afternoon, because he just can’t make peace with not knowing.

So when Dustin appears in his doorway near the end of the day Eduardo can finally breathe a sigh of relief. “What’s up?” Dustin asks as he raps his knuckles against the doorframe. He doesn’t give Eduardo an opportunity to answer before he leans into the office a little more and says lower, “Can you get out of here for a little while?”

And yes, Eduardo practically jumps out of his chair, which makes Dustin laugh. “Yeah, of course, what did you have in mind?”

Dustin jerks his thumb towards the door. “Let’s just go for a walk.”

They make it all the way outside before Eduardo can’t contain his curiosity any longer. “Why are you here, Dustin?”

Dustin chuckles. “You know me, Wardo, always trying to get out of work whenever possible.” Eduardo scoffs at that, because as much as that’s the image Dustin perpetuates, Eduardo knows that Dustin’s just as committed and dedicated to his work as Facebook as Mark. “No, seriously, Chris wanted to come talk to you himself, but a… situation came up.” Dustin snorts a little. “He was nervous about sending me because he says I don’t have the same _sensitivity_ as he does. But whatever. He calls it sensitivity, I call it beating around the bush. Anyway. You probably want to know about Saturday.”

Eduardo laughs a little, because that right there is probably the understatement of the year. “Yeah, Saturday,” he affirms, sobering up quickly. His voice suddenly takes a darker tone. “Walden.” Dustin nods but keeps his gaze on the sidewalk. “…Is?” Eduardo continues, a lilt at the end, hoping Dustin will offer some insight.

Dustin nods again, but this time fills in the blank with, “Mark’s ex-boyfriend.”

The words catch Eduardo so off-guard that he literally stumbles and chokes on air. Dustin valiantly doesn’t laugh, just claps Eduardo on the back helpfully, still without looking at him.

“Boy—boyfriend?” Eduardo coughs.

“Ex,” Dustin corrects, finally meeting Eduardo’s eyes and takes in his stunned expression. “Wardo, don’t look at me like that.”

Eduardo sputters, but Dustin continues. “C’mon man, you have to understand how much this is really _not news._ What were you doing in Singapore about two months after the depositions?”

The question stings, because he remembers exactly what he was doing. He remembers the first month in Singapore, literally sitting in his apartment for days on end and living off his newly acquired millions in settlement money. He had wanted to stew in his misery, and he had spent countless hours on Facebook, agonizing over Mark’s profile and pictures and status updates, drinking heavily, and hating himself a little more every second.

Finally, after the month was over, Eduardo took a hard look at his situation and decided that he was being pathetic. He cut off his Internet and got rid of his television, threw out all the alcohol in his apartment, and spent a small fortune on self-help books. He told everyone who asked about it that it was a much needed media-purge, but more than anything it was an attempted Mark purge. He got a job and started living again, but continued in his minimalist lifestyle until he was asked to move out to Palo Alto.

But Eduardo doesn’t say any of this, instead simplifying it with, “I wasn’t keeping up with much of anything then.”

Dustin _hmm_ s, like this is understandable. “Then you missed the big statement.”

Eduardo gapes at him. “Mark came out as _gay?_ ”

“No,” Dustin answers patiently. “Mark came out as bisexual. He wanted to make a big speech about how his sexuality was fluid and shouldn’t be restricted as binary by societal norms, but Chris said his intentions were all very well meaning but he shouldn’t overwhelm the public.” Dustin chuckles at the end like it’s an amusing memory, and there’s a little involuntary ache in Eduardo’s heart. As absurd as it is, he wishes he could have been there.

Eduardo’s not really processing all of this because he’s still having trouble wrapping his head around the previous information. “What could’ve… why did he… Was there a reason?”

“Ha,” Dustin says, much more grimly now. “Yeah, there was a reason. You remember Mark talking about what a bad place he was in after the depositions? Well, he was picking up a lot of guys and having a lot of one night stands--” Eduardo clenches and unclenches his fists “—and giving them fake names. Finally one guy figured out who he was and threatened to sell his story to the media unless Mark gave him a _ridiculous_ amount of money, and Mark told Chris, who told him that he should release a statement.”

“Was it a big deal?”

“It would’ve been a big deal if Mark wasn’t, you know, Mark. He said his piece and then has pretty much refused to discuss it any further since.”

Eduardo chuckles. “Of course he did,” he murmurs. Because really, how many celebrities have tried to do that? And somehow only Mark’s particular brand of indifference and stubbornness could have pulled it off.

“Even when he was dating Walden. There were pictures of them together all the time because the paparazzi just wouldn’t let it _go_ , like really, _waaaaayyyyy_ more pictures of them kissing and groping each other in public places like gas stations and--”

This makes Eduardo cough on air for the second time because he really, _really_ doesn’t want to think about anyone else groping Mark ever, much less in an exposed, seedy place like a gas station, and as soon as he can breathe again he manages to choke out, “Think you might be getting away from the point, Dustin?”

“Right, even though he and Walden didn’t hide their relationship and people would ask, Mark just flat out didn’t talk about it. And believe me, there tons of people commenting on the irony of the fact that the founder of Facebook wanted his privacy, Mark got really sick of it… But yeah, once people realized Mark wasn’t going to take shit they backed off.” Dustin explains with a shrug.

Eduardo swallows. He knows exactly what he wants to ask, but he just doesn’t know if he can force his mouth to form the words.

“At college,” he manages, after a couple stuttered attempts. Dustin just looks at him quizzically. Eduardo rolls his eyes in an effort to play it off, but tries again. “Were there guys. At college.” He can’t make it into a question, can’t force himself to put any more inflection into it than a monotone.

Before Dustin responds, he winces, like he knows Eduardo isn’t going to like his answer, so Eduardo braces himself for the worst.

“According to Chris,” Dustin begins very delicately, “there were. But only before Facebook, and it was only ever about sex. He never had a… relationship with any of them. Not like he had a relationship with Erica, anyway.”

Eduardo nods to indicate he understands, but he feels a little dizzy and somewhat out of his body… Like his brain just _doesn’t know what to do with this information_ : where to file it or how to feel, after wishing, hoping, wanting, and not having for so long.

Dustin glances up at Eduardo and must see some of this reflected there, because he smirks at Eduardo’s expression. “This is probably a lot to take in for you, huh?”

He huffs at that a little because, well, now that has to be the understatement of the year.

Dustin looks a little more sympathetic. “Listen, don’t feel like this has to change anything, unless… Unless you want it to. Mark is still Mark, and he’s still gonna want you around, in whatever capacity you can be. You know that… right?”

His tone is a little uncertain, like he’s not exactly sure of what he’s doing. So Eduardo takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. Then he smiles back at Dustin. “That’s impressive. Talk about emotionally supportive.”

Dustin lets out a laugh and pushes Eduardo off the sidewalk.

“No, seriously!” Eduardo continues. “Seriously, that was like… straight up Chris status right there.”

“Fuck you,” Dustin laughs in response.

Eduardo kind of skips back up onto the sidewalk and realizes that everything about him feels a little bit lighter, that maybe his body is kind of rejoicing in this information even though his brain isn’t quite sure how to feel yet. He smiles. “Really though Dustin,” he resumes. “Thanks.”

Dustin claps him on the shoulder and says, “No problem,” good-naturedly, accompanied by one of his trademark genuine smiles.

However, it’s not long before it turns smug. “I already know how you can make it up to me.”

Eduardo shoots him a weary, vaguely questioning look. “What?”

“Give me Aubrey’s number,” Dustin replies immediately.

A laugh escapes Eduardo instantly, because he honestly thinks Dustin’s joking. But Dustin’s expression doesn’t waver, and Eduardo quiets quickly. “Wait. You’re serious? You met her like… a week ago.”

Dustin gives Eduardo this look like he’s trying to decide if Eduardo’s actually an idiot or if he’s being deliberately slow. “…Yeah. So? Isn’t that kinda the point? When you go a week and you think about a complete stranger _every day of that week_ …” Dustin kind of shrugs and laughs a little. “You want their number.”

Eduardo just states at him a minute, kind of like he’s sizing him up. It strikes him how much Dustin has grown up, how much they’ve _all_ grown up… And maybe they can handle stuff like this now, you know, _real relationships,_ without worrying their going to break them at the first opportunity.

“Fine,” he allows at last, rolling his eyes and grabbing Dustin’s phone to input her number, ignoring Dustin’s ridiculously wide smile and the bouncing up and down he accompanies it with. “ _But,_ I swear to god Dustin, if I have to find a new nanny because of you--”

“You won’t, you won’t, I promise,” Dustin instantaneously assures him, unable to keep the happy look off his face. “What should I text her?”

After many suggestions, they eventually settle on _got your number! guess who? ;-)_. As they continue walking Eduardo’s phone buzzes, and he knows immediately it must be from Aubrey.

_Oh my god you totally gave that goofy dustin guy my number didn’t you_

Dustin’s phone vibrates just seconds afterwards. It reads, _lemme guess: alex, micah, justin… getting close?_

Dustin just laughs. “Playing hard to get, I can work with that.” He responds _lemme give you a hint. i’m “goofy”_

Eduardo’s phone goes off twice in quick succession.

_Oh my god you’re with him too??!!_

_I hate you_

Eduardo grins and responds, _Interesting that you remembered his name since you only met him in passing a little over a week ago if you don’t like him… hmm_

The reply comes immediately: _i refuse to dignify that with a response. also, i hate you. more._

Eduardo shows it to Dustin, who is shaking with laughter. It must be contagious because soon Eduardo is too, and it continues all the back to his office.  
*

That night, Eduardo knows he should be too exhausted to sleep, what with the long day at work and taking care of Hayden, who had been fussy going to bed. But somehow, he’s completely wound up. He’s sitting in front of TV, but if asked what was going on in whatever mindless show was on, he knows he wouldn’t have any idea. 

He’s sure that it’s because of what Dustin told him earlier. The information is just ricocheting around in his head and it’s driving Eduardo _nuts…_ He doesn’t know what to make of it. He knows what he _wants_ to do, knows what he probably _should_ do… He just doesn’t know what _to_ do. 

The doorbell rings and Eduardo groans. He drags himself up off the couch and goes to answer it, and thank god it’s Chris. 

“Tell me you have beer. Please, for the love of all things holy, _tell me you have beer Chris.”_

Chris stifles a laugh and holds up his empty palms. “Sorry to disappoint.” 

Eduardo groans again, head in his hands overdramatically. “It’s fine. I really couldn’t have any anyway, I’d be too worried that Hayden would suddenly be in mortal danger and I’d be too drunk to handle it properly.” Chris shoots him a doubtful look, so Eduardo responds with a glare. “Shut up, you’ll understand if you have kids some day.” 

Chris just smiles easily, and steps inside as Eduardo continues into the kitchen. “This intense desire for alcohol doesn’t have anything to do with Dustin’s news today, does it?” 

The lack of response must tell Chris all he needs to know. However, being the king of sensitivity that he is, all he does is hum a little bit to himself before saying, “You know, if you want to talk to someone about it, you can.” 

Eduardo closes his eyes and tries to find the words. Chris can somehow sense this and doesn’t push, just watches Eduardo busy himself putting away and cleaning up the kitchen, which Hayden somehow managed to wreak havoc on earlier. The industrious movements of his hands seem to calm his brain, and when he thinks he’s collected his thoughts he turns around to face Chris again, flailing a little desperately in the process. 

“I know that… I know that just because Mark likes guys doesn’t mean he likes me. But. If he—if he slept with—ugh, if he was _with_ guys in college. Why wasn’t he with me?” There’s an edge of helplessness to his tone that he can’t seem to drive out despite the fact that he hates that it’s there. “Is he not attracted to me, does he not like me like that, does he want to stay friends… I just, I don’t know, and I’m _scared_ Chris, scared out of my mind. I don’t--I can’t lose him again.” He ruffles his hand through his hair, which probably only makes it worse. He looks like a mess—feels like a mess—and he knows this shouldn’t fuck with his brain as much as it’s doing, but he just can’t help it. 

Chris tilts his head and gives him a look that is half pity, half affectionate. “Oh, Eduardo. Are you seriously worried about this?” 

“ _Yes!_ ” Eduardo practically screeches. “Of course I am, Chris! All that time in college… And nothing— _nothing!_ Of course I’m worried that’s going to happen again.” 

“Oh god Eduardo. You’re being totally ridiculous.” 

“Of course I--” Then Chris’ words finally make it through, but they don’t make any sense. “Wait, what?” 

Chris sets forward patiently. “First of all, this is _Mark_ we’re talking about. He doesn’t really pick up on signals. You could have used a _skywriter_ to confess your feelings and he still wouldn’t have talked about it. If you want him to know, you have to tell him—outright, no room for mistakes or misinterpretations. And secondly, you had your own issues at college. You were still working out your stuff, neither of you were ready to be together. And another thing. You do _not_ have to worry about Mark not being attracted to you, Wardo; the guys he picked up--”

“ _Chris, do not talk about Mark hooking up with people, it makes me want to smash things--”_

“Shut _up_ man, I have a point—the guys Mark picked up always vaguely looked like you and Walden--”

Eduardo growls, much to his own surprise, he actually _growls_ —

“ _Shut up_ , god, Walden was freakishly similar to you. In fact, Dustin and I used to call him Wardo-lite.” 

Eduardo looks up at him incredulously, obviously not expecting to hear that at all. Chris gives a kind of helpless shrug in explanation. 

He actually allows himself to burst out into a laugh, and then before he knows it he’s giggling so hard his eyes are filling with tears, and when he snatches a glance at Chris he’s laughing too, which makes sense because he can finally _breathe_ in what feels like the first time since he got the call about Jamie. 

When they've collected themselves and the hysteria fades, Eduardo feels his head clear… He’s still dead tired and all, but he feels a million times better. Chris is looking at him a little bit relieved and finally says, “Eduardo, you know what to do. Just… talk to him, for chrissakes.” 

Eduardo bites the inside of his lip and then sighs. “You’re right.” There is a moment of stillness, and then he’s moving fast, as fast as he can to grab keys and his wallet and shoes. “I gotta go.”

Chris squawks. “Wait, no—what? No no no, not _now_ Eduardo, you should sleep on it and figure out what you’re going to say and--”

But Eduardo is already in front of his hallway mirror, trying to fix his hair (but honestly, he’s starting to think it is too messy at this point for it to do any good). “No, you don’t understand, I have to go _now_ before my brain fucks everything up again,” he explains, flailing his hands a little as he says it. He squints at himself in the mirror, tweaking a particularly stubborn strand of hair that refuses to lay flat. “Chris, can you just stay here until I get back? You know, in case Hayden wakes up?” 

Poor Chris looks absolutely bewildered by the mere suggestion. “Um… That’s possibly the worst idea you’ve ever had. _Ever_. And I was there in college, so I witnessed some of the things that came out of your mouth when you were spectacularly _drunk_ , and somehow this is still number one.”

Eduardo takes a couple steps closer to him and tries to recall the look he used to pull out when Mark hadn’t consumed anything but tuna and Red Bull for a couple days, pouting his lower lip and widening his eyes as far as he can. Back at Harvard, Mark grumpily used to say it wasn’t fair because he had eyes twice the size of a normal person’s, but no matter what Mark always fell for the expression. Chris seems to be softening under it as well, Eduardo can see him caving further by the minute. He tips the scales with, “Please Chris, I _need_ to do this. Hayden won’t even wake up for like another four hours.” Okay, so maybe that’s not completely true, strictly speaking; he could be overestimating by an hour or two. But he has to do this _now_ , every fiber of his being is screaming out for it and he’s waited for so long. He’s done waiting. 

Chris finally sighs. “ _Fine,”_ he says begrudgingly, then his eyes flash at Eduardo. “But I swear Eduardo, I have a brunch meeting in the morning and I _refuse_ to sleep on your couch and then go to the meeting in these same clothes okay, regardless of _what_ you and Mark are doing—oh god, I don’t even want to know _,_ just be back here at a reasonable— _mmph!_ ”

The rest of Chris’ inevitable qualifiers are muffled by the bone crushing hug Eduardo engulfs him in. “Thank you Chris, thank you _so so so_ much. Just call me if Hayden wakes up and you need something okay? I’m going to owe you forever for this!” 

He lets Chris go as quickly as he grabbed him in the first place and rushing out the door, hearing Chris call after him, “I swear, if Hayden wakes up _I will never forgive you!_ ” 

Eduardo thinks about how he should probably feel guilty for abandoning Chris like this. He knows it, but he can’t bring himself to feel anything other than giddy excitement. Inexplicably, he literally fucking _skips_ to the car.  
*  
The feeling of anticipation thrumming through his veins doesn’t last long. 

The drive over, Eduardo is a _mess._

More so than he was when Dustin broke the news, more so than venting all of his biggest fears to Chris twenty minutes ago, god, this level of anxiety matches holding his son for the first time: being so in awe of his beauty and consequently, so incredibly panicked that he would break him somehow. 

Eduardo has white knuckles on the steering wheel and the butterflies in his stomach and millions of thoughts running around in his head and he’s breathing a little too fast. He runs through a few things he should say in his head, but none of it is sticking. 

He starts to think that maybe Chris was right, he should take the night and mull it over. He contemplates turning around a couple of times, but he knows he’ll regret it, and he already has too many regrets where Mark is concerned. 

All too soon he’s pulled into Mark’s driveway. He takes the key out of the ignition slowly and sits in the driver’s seat for a few minutes, silently bemoaning the fact that he has no plan at all. He almost picks up his phone to call Chris or Dustin or _someone_ , and he’s even scrolling through his contacts until he sees a light go on in the front room of Mark’s house. He knows it’s Mark’s “office” (the application of the term is generous in Eduardo’s opinion, there are really only three computers in there on a massive desk and a swivel chair), and he figures that Mark is probably settling in to do some coding for the night. 

The light glowing from the windows is a soft yellow, and it reminds Eduardo of sitting on Mark’s bed in college, trying to study but mostly just watch Mark work on his computer and carrying on a meandering, pointless conversation while Mark mostly just threw in witty and sarcastic comments or murmured in the appropriate places. He remembers how effortless it all was, how effortless it all could be _again_ , and it’s this thought that gives him the courage to get out of the car and head up to Mark’s house. 

Eduardo hesitates when he gets to the door, his hand hovering in the air for a moment before he finally brings his knuckles down to rap against it. He shakes his head immediately after he does so, because he just can’t shake the feeling that he’s _not ready…_ He’s known Mark for years, _loved him_ for years, and thought about the possibility of doing this a million times, but somehow the reality is so much more daunting than it was in all those daydreams. 

The fact that this is _it_ is what scares him the most. 

Because it is. 

This is a fork in the road, after which his life could go two directions. 

He could lose the best friend he’s ever had, regardless of the fact that it feels as if he _just_ got him back in his life. He could put it all on the line and have to watch Mark say no and walk away. 

Or. 

He could get everything he’d ever wanted since he was nineteen. 

Eduardo’s contemplations are interrupted when Mark actually opens the door. 

He’s wearing sweats, an old, threadbare t-shirt, and a puzzled look on his face, like he’s worried that he missed something. “Wardo,” he utters, cocking his head to the side. “Did I, um… Were we supposed to hang out? Did I miss something?” 

Eduardo grins at that. Because this shouldn’t be scary. It’s still _Mark_ ; who is perpetually awkward and worried and so _damn endearing._ And Eduardo feels just… 

Overcome. 

He may chuckle at that a little bit, but if he does so he’s not conscious of it because his whole brain is spinning. _“Jesus_ …” he whispers to his shoes, and then he is throwing himself at Mark and pressing their lips frantically together. 

Neither of them were ever that good with words anyway. 

Mark makes a sound that is mostly surprise, like this was the last thing he was expecting, and for a moment his lips are still against Eduardo’s. Eduardo panics a little bit at this, but it doesn’t stop him. He kisses Mark determinedly; like Eduardo is suffocating and Mark is oxygen or Eduardo is starving and Mark is bread. They’re tumbling backwards into the opposite wall without any coordination at all, and Eduardo forgets to kick the door shut behind him, but none of it matters because Mark is _kissing him back_. 

Mark brings his hand up to cup the back of Eduardo’s head, a gentle gesture despite the hurried nature of the kiss, and Eduardo sighs a little bit into it and tightens his hold on Mark’s hips. It doesn’t take long until they’re both breathless, and Eduardo really can’t think straight. 

He pulls away and steps back feeling almost dizzy (if it's from the rush of adrenaline, lack of oxygen, or kissing Mark after years of waiting, he can't be sure) and Mark makes a sound like a whimper at the loss of contact. Eduardo opens his eyes deliberately slowly, trying to put off the awful moment of anticipation for as long as possible. 

And Mark, he looks… undone. He’s just staring at Eduardo like he doesn’t know what to do. “Wardo,” he begins, but Eduardo squeezes his eyes shut at the sound and shakes his head. 

“Wait,” Eduardo says, putting out a hand. He doesn’t know if it’s to keep Mark at arm’s length and give himself some distance, or to put off whatever Mark was about to say. He pries his eyes open. “It’s just…”

He takes in Mark and he’s finally able to put a finger on what it is. 

“Mark,” he begins again. “It’s just… Whenever I imagined it… That’s not how I _wanted_ our first kiss to be.”

Mark’s expression goes from confusion to soft surprise, and he murmurs, “Oh.” 

Eduardo is more hesitant this time as he nods and steps forward into Mark’s space. “Can I…” he says faintly, and Mark nods twice, short but enthusiastically, before Eduardo even finishes his thought. Eduardo lifts his hand and gently places his thumb over Mark’s bottom lip, which is a vivid shade of red. He watches Mark’s eyes flutter shut as gracefully as butterfly wings, and trails his hand down to tilt up Mark’s chin. They make eye contact for a handful of precious seconds before Eduardo closes the remaining distance between them. 

This kiss is more tender, sweet than the first. Eduardo keeps it slow, and moves both his hands so that he’s cupping Mark’s face with both his hands. Mark whines a little bit as he does so, and responds by fisting one hand in Eduardo’s t-shirt and opening his mouth so Eduardo can slip his tongue inside and explore. Eduardo does so, but keeps the unhurried nature of the kiss there. He lets their tongues tangle together and then tugs a little bit on Mark’s lower lip. 

He unlocks their lips and pulls back just a minuscule amount and breathes out shakily, eyes still closed. Their noses are still touching just a little, and he hears Mark let out a sigh. He feels rather than sees Mark shake his head from side to side slightly. “Wardo,” he exhales. 

Eduardo hums in acknowledgement and steps back. “I’m sorry, I just--”

“Fuck, Wardo,” Mark repeats breathily, looking up at Eduardo. “I’ve wanted that to happen for… a really long time.”

Eduardo can feel a goofy smile spread over his face. “Me too,” he agrees. 

Mark’s grin widens (Eduardo sees those oh-so-elusive dimples, and he feels like jumping up and down because _he did that!_ ), and he must take that as encouragement because he’s stepping forward and tilting Eduardo’s head down for another greedy kiss. Eduardo giggles a little bit at that, because he can identify with the feeling… He doesn’t think he’ll _ever_ get over how great it is to kiss Mark. 

“Stop laughing,” Mark murmurs against Eduardo’s lips. “It makes it harder to kiss you.” Which of course just makes Eduardo laugh harder. 

Mark emits a frustrated noise, but Eduardo can feel his smile too, which puts Eduardo at ease but at the same time sets him off all over again, laughing so hard he has to pull away as he doubles over. He can’t _breathe_ he’s laughing so hard, and Mark is looking at him like he doesn’t know whether to be annoyed or incredibly charmed. 

“I—I’m sorry, it’s just—I…” he attempts before laughing into laughter again, reaching up to wipe tears from his eyes. 

Mark chuckles a little in response. “What’s gotten into you?” he asks, looking kind of amazed. 

Eduardo exhales slowly, trying to pull himself back together and stand up again. “I don’t know,” he admits. “I was like this with Chris too, just a little while ago actually, when he told me--” 

He stops himself short as he realizes why he had been laughing so hard earlier. He doesn’t know if Walden is safe territory, and this night has gone _so fucking well,_ a thousand times better than expected… The last thing he wants to do is royally screw it up. 

But Mark is looking at him like he’s vaguely worried, and Eduardo has never been able to deny Mark much of anything when his face is like that. So he clears his throat and ploughs on. 

“…When he told me that he and Dustin used to say Walden was Eduardo-lite.” 

Mark’s face goes to amused instantaneously, but Eduardo is observant. He doesn’t miss the flicker of puzzlement that settles on Mark’s face just for a second, like hearing Walden’s name come out of Eduardo’s mouth unsettles him. It is gone so fast Eduardo’s almost tempted to believe it wasn’t there… 

But that can’t happen again. They’ve already screwed everything up once because they couldn’t communicate, and Eduardo’s not about to rush right back to that again. He thinks Mark is feeling the same because he’s biting his lip uneasily, which makes Eduardo’s heart ache a little bit. 

That’s the last thing Eduardo wants to see. So he steps forward and kisses the side of Mark’s mouth. The way Mark closes his eyes and turns his head into the swift press of Eduardo’s lips makes his breath catch a little bit. Mark opens his eyes slowly, and Eduardo’s smile is small as he whispers, “We should talk about this.”

It’s a sign of how much they both have changed that Mark only looks a little impatient with this assessment as he nods, taking Eduardo’s hand and pulling him towards the couch in the living room. Eduardo relishes the way their fingers are threaded together. The way Mark is holding his hand feels _purposeful_ , not just a quick squeeze for reassurance or to steady one of them; it feels a million times better than that. 

They sit down with their legs folded, facing each other. A large part of Eduardo’s heart (which is beating too fast to be normal, he’s sure) is doing cartwheels and his hands are itching to touch Mark. He _just_ got permission to do so, and he’s not thrilled that he has to surrender it for the time being _already._ However, he knows giving into this urge will only distract them both, so he settles on moving his leg so that his shoe is pressed up against Mark’s sock, allowing himself just one teeny point of contact. Mark sees this and smiles a little bit to himself. 

“So,” Eduardo begins. 

“Yeah,” Mark echoes, looking up at Eduardo with a bit of a smirk, refusing to take the lead, stubborn as always. 

Eduardo sighs a little at this and looks at Mark pointedly, because he can see what he’s doing, but Mark’s smirk only grows and then Eduardo is blushing a little. When it comes to Mark, he’s a total pushover. 

“Dustin told me about the statement, and… Walden,” Eduardo starts. The name feels clunky coming out of his mouth; he doesn’t like it. “And Chris told me I should talk to you, and basically assured me that I wouldn’t get my heart broken if I came over here.” 

He tacks a nervous laugh onto the end of the last statement and chances a look up at Mark, who is looking up at him with an expression that says _are you serious_ in the kindest way possible. Eduardo shakes his head minutely and stares at his shoe lightly touching Mark’s sock, forcing his thoughts back on track, and continues. 

“And look, I think I said earlier that I’ve imagined this happening. And I _have_ , a lot, like… since the beginning, since college, even though we weren’t ready and you had Erica and I had Christy, and even though we kind of screwed up what we _did_ have. So, basically, I don’t know where you are with everything—all of this—but I want—I want us to be on the same page.” He takes a deep breath, squeezes his eyes shut for the next part, and plows on. 

“I was _so_ stupid, Mark. In college, I was still trying to please my father and I thought I could fight my feelings for you, but I couldn’t. And that’s what made Facebook so complicated between us. I didn’t want my, my…crush, on you, to get in the way, so I just pushed everything aside and turns out, that ruined everything. And you know, I was an _idiot_ , Mark. I should have told you then how I felt, and if Chris is right— _especially_ if Chris is right—I owe you an apology. I made things more complicated than they needed to be and I’m sorry.” 

Mark is looking at him, and Eduardo wishes to everything that he could read Mark’s expression right now, or his thoughts, or have some way to figure out exactly what he’s thinking. He feels more nervous than he was before he got here, if that’s even possible, because his words aren’t _enough_ and he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to explain to Mark exactly what he means. 

“So now. I want… I want…” he stutters, trying to force his brain to construct what he’s feeling into a cohesive sentence, but it’s not working. But then, thank god, he looks at Mark’s face, and somehow sees all the encouragement he needs there. 

Eduardo lifts his right hand, trembling just a little as he does so, up to Mark’s face, and rests the tips of his fingers lightly on Mark’s neck and leaves his thumb to stroke at Mark’s jaw line. Mark raises his own hand and wraps his slim fingers around Eduardo’s wrist. His lips tug up minutely as he does so, almost instinctively, giving Eduardo the smallest smile and just a hint of one of his dimples. Eduardo focuses on this and tries again. 

“I want you to know that I’m all in. This time. We broke this… this thing—between us, once before and I don’t want that to happen again. I lived without you for a long time and I’m not going back to that. So I’m going to fight for us, for this; I’m not giving up again. I want this to be _it._ Is that… Is that okay?” 

And this is the moment of truth; this is the moment where his life could change forever. Eduardo knows he should be terrified, but somehow, between the way Mark is looking at him and the way that Mark’s fingers are wrapped around his wrist, a comforting touch, he just can’t bring himself to be all that scared. 

Mark lets his small smile break out into a full out _beaming_ one, and he whispers, low enough that Eduardo has to strain to hear him, “Yes. Of course. Eduardo, that’s exactly what I want. I don’t want anybody else. _Ever._ Just you.” 

Eduardo feels his eyes swim with tears as he grins too and pulls Mark forward into a teary, relieved, _elated_ kiss.  
*  
In a perfect world, he would have had a chance to have that night to do all the things he’s been dreaming to do with Mark for years… But he has to go back home so that Chris can leave, because Eduardo’s life certainly isn’t perfect. 

It’s pretty damn close though. 

He comes home with a stupid, stupid smile on his face, and he knows it. Chris teases him about it, and Eduardo tells him to shut up but without any bite. He feels the heat radiate from his face, and Chris softens to see it. 

“I’m happy for you, Eduardo,” Chris says in that absolutely genuine way only he can, and Eduardo realizes that he is really happy for himself too.


	5. Chapter 5

When Eduardo wakes up the next morning, it feels just like any other. For a minute or so he lays there, bleary-eyed and rumples, not wanting to get out of bed.

It all comes roaring back to him rapidly, and he sits straight up with the force of it. In the haze of the early morning he’s still not sure if he dreamed it, but then the sensory memories hit him (the feel of Mark’s fingers around his wrists, the press of Mark’s lips to his own, the way Mark smiled so wide it looked like he might burst) and he grins.

It’s like something out of a dream, that’s for sure. Only it’s a million times better because it’s _real_.

The lights on the baby monitor come alive with Hayden’s mumbles and soft whines as he starts to wake, and Eduardo’s whole body _jolts_ as he realizes that he and Mark never talked about the whole baby thing.

Hayden is definitely going to make things different. Even more difficult than it was already going to be, if Eduardo’s being totally honest with himself. Eduardo’s a dad now, he’s not going to be able to go out as much or be as spontaneous, and there are times when Mark is going to have to come second (and Mark has _never_ liked coming second).

They had both just been so caught up in the moment that obstacles like this really hadn’t even crossed Eduardo’s mind. Throughout the morning, as he and Hayden eat and play and even after Aubrey comes and Eduardo leaves for work, he isn’t really _worrying_ about it, per say. It’s more like a nagging concern that won’t go away. So when he gets in the car, he finds himself driving to the Facebook offices on autopilot.  
*

Luckily, when he gets there, Dustin is in the office to usher him in. Mark or Chris or somebody must have told him what happened, because he’s practically skipping up and down with glee.

“Wardo, oh my _god_ , it’s like all the unresolved sexual tension that was building up since college finally _exploded_ in rainbows and sparkles and _love_! Was it beautiful? Was it everything you dreamed and hoped and wished it would be? Huh, Wardo? Except ew, don’t tell me anything that would tarnish my innocent imaginings of the situation. As far as I’m concerned the two of kissed like something out of a fairytale and that was the end of it. Ooh, or the end of _Tangled_!” Dustin clutches his heart dramatically, but catches Eduardo’s eye and clears his throat to continue. “Anyway, friends don’t give friends too many sexy-times details.”

Eduardo’s head is spinning from all the questions and he doesn’t even know which ones to answer. He settles for the obvious. “I would love to live in your fairytale world for about five minutes, Dustin.”

Dustin looks at him like a confused puppy. “Why just five minutes? My brain is _awesome_!”

Eduardo chuckles. “Because it sounds a little too bizarre.”

Thankfully Chris intercepts them, when they’re across the room from Mark’s office. “Dustin, don’t pester the man. And hey Eduardo, what’s up?”

He breathes a sigh of relief to get out of Dustin’s ridiculous questions. “Hey Chris, can I see Mark?”

Chris nods vigorously, eyes widening about three sizes. “ _Please_. He’s been worked up and agitated and pacing all morning. I’m pretty damn sure that it’s something to do with _you_ , so _fix it_ Saverin, because I think I’m already getting an ulcer from working here as it is and I don’t need my hair to start falling out too.”  
Eduardo blushes and ducks his head, “Sorry,” he mutters.

“It’s all good Eduardo, Chris is just _mister grumpyface_ this morning because you and Mark are in a relationship and Aubrey and I aren’t quite dating yet but it’s gonna happen, okay, I promise you, and poor Chris is _single_ ,” Dustin explains, making an exaggerated frowny face and subjecting Chris to one of his surprise hugs.

Chris scrambles and wriggles out of Dustin’s embrace, shouting “Get off me you fiend, I don’t want to catch your weirdness!”

“You mean my _awesomeness_!” Dustin yells back as he tries to hold on to Chris’ flailing arms.

Eduardo has learned from his time at Harvard that it’s best to let them work these things out between themselves, so he shouts “thanks” over his shoulder as he jogs over to Mark’s office, Dustin’s shouts of “It’s okay to be married to your work Chris, Facebook will always love you!” echoing through the room. The interns don’t even look up, so Eduardo assumes this is normal behavior.  
*

Mark opens his door and looks at Eduardo like a deer in the headlights. “Hi,” Eduardo breathes out with a smile, shoving his hands in his pockets and trying not to blush.

“Hey,” Mark replies, his mouth twisting up into a tentative smile and continuing to stand in the doorway.

Eduardo bites his lip and tries not to find Mark’s nervousness jitteriness completely adorable. “Can I come in?”

Mark blushes a little and steps aside. “Oh, um… yeah. Duh.”

Eduardo walks into the small office and leans against Mark’s desk. Mark closes the door behind them and hovers close to the door, wringing his hands and looking paralyzed. Eduardo can’t help but chuckle at him. “Jesus, Mark, _breathe_. What are you so worried about?”

Mark sucks his lower lip in-between his teeth and bites down on it subconsciously. Eduardo tries to stifle a shiver and ignore the way the way he goes hot all over. Mark breathes out shakily and speaks at last.

“You’re not here to break up with me?”

Eduardo physically stumbles backward, because _why would Mark think that_? He steps forward as swiftly as he can, grabbing one of Mark’s hands and placing it over his heart, securing it with his own on top, using his other hand to cradle Mark’s face.

“Mark, what— _why_?”

Mark shrugs and looks at Eduardo calmer eyes, though Eduardo can still spot a little of the fretfulness in their depths. “It’s not, Wardo, it’s just— _god_ , it’s been brought to my attention…”

His gaze swifts to the window and they can both see Dustin and Chris’ eyes spying on them through the window. Then the finger creating the little gap in the blinds disappears and their faces are gone. Eduardo chuckles and Mark huffs, turning back to lock eyes with Eduardo and continues rambling.

“I told _someone_ about last night, gave them the general gist, and then _they_ asked me if you knew how I felt and said I should tell you because sometimes people get insecure when the other person doesn’t verbalize what they’re thinking because it can be read as apathy, which just isn’t true--”

Eduardo can tell from the choice of words that Chris talked to Mark, which is well-meaning but not really necessary because Eduardo isn’t worried. He shakes his head and tries to disagree, but Mark squeezes his eyes shut and plows on.

“I’m not good with feelings, Wardo, but I know how I feel about you, okay? I always felt differently about you, and it scared the _shit_ out of me in college because I hadn’t felt like that before, with anyone—I just wanted to be around you all the _time_ and I didn’t know what to do with that feeling, so I just pushed you away and withdrew even more and… I didn’t know it would hurt so much when you were gone, I wasn’t brave enough to call it what it was until it was too late but I’m not going to do that this time.” He breathes in and locks eyes with Eduardo and the honesty in them is so apparent, and Eduardo knows how much bravery it must take for Mark to open up like this. He _knows_ this time really will be different.

“I’ve gotten better with relationships since then, I’ve changed. And I’m ready for this now, I’m ready for you, ready for _us_ , and you’re so important to me, Wardo. You mean the world to me and I’m in this just as much as you are, this time.”

Mark looks at him unflinchingly, and Eduardo feels happy tears sting his eyes for the second time in as many days. “ _Dammit_ ,” he breathes, laughing, and tilts Mark’s chin up to kiss him.

Eduardo kisses Mark with certainty, like it’s a thank you and a reassurance and a confession all at once. When they pull back Eduardo wipes at his eyes with one hand and explains, “I wasn’t going to cry.” Mark laughs too, and when he breathes out this time it’s filled with a relief that makes Eduardo feel like all their combined worry is just completely silly.

“On that note,” Eduardo begins. “I kinda had something from last night that I was fretting about too.”

Mark looks at him a little mystified, but lets Eduardo continue.

“I just want to warn you that this isn’t going to be like a normal dating experience… I have Hayden and so now I hardly stay up past nine-thirty. Sometimes I fall asleep with spit-up on my pajamas, and I have to plan _everything_ and it’s probably not what you bargained for, but--”

“Wardo,” Mark says, cutting him off immediately. “Don’t be stupid. I already love Hayden, and I love that you’re a dad, and besides. It’s not like this is _news_ , I knew all of this going in. So don’t worry about it.”

Which is rich, coming from Mark, who, just a couple of minutes ago, though Eduardo was _going to break up with him_. He can’t help but laugh. “Only if you promise not to worry about us either.”

Mark nods once and kisses Eduardo , short and sweet. Eduardo tightens his grasp on Mark’s hand, and his heart is beating so hard and fast he’s sure that Mark can feel it.  
*

Eduardo soon finds that dating Mark is one of his favorite things in the world.

It’s nothing like it would have been if they were in college. Now Mark is putting in all this _effort_ , and he keeps talking about how he wants to do everything _right_. That means going out on dates and communicating when things get hard and being discreet in public and taking it slow. Sometimes Eduardo has to pinch himself to make sure that it’s real.

But there is one thing Eduardo wishes he could change.

There’s a difference between taking it slow and downright _glacial_.

They haven’t gotten physical yet. Well, beyond a couple of frenzied makeout sessions that never seem to progress fast enough for Eduardo. He’s not sure if that’s because he imagined _being_ with Mark a million times while they were at Harvard or because he hasn’t had sex since before he and Jamie broke up. Either way, the point is the same.

He doesn’t want to push though. He wants Mark to be comfortable and to do things on his own time. He doesn’t want either of them to feel any pressure.

Still, it’s messing him up. They’ve been dating for about a month and Eduardo is laying in his bed at two in the morning, alone of course and unable to sleep, even though he knows Hayden will be up and wailing in about two hours. He’s managed to convince himself that he wouldn’t have this insomnia if he and Mark were sleeping together. He gets so worked up about it that he calls Chris.

He doesn’t even wait for Chris’ surely groggy greeting before launching into his rambling.

“Mark and I haven’t _done_ anything yet!” he practically shouts into the phone urgently.

“…It’s actually two a.m. right? I’m not just seeing things? Oh god, it is. Why are you calling me at two am. Why are you calling me at two am to talk about your _sex life_. This is not okay, Eduardo.”

“Well, that’s not true,” Eduardo continues undeterred, as if Chris hadn’t even spoken. “We have made out. On the couch. More than once, actually. And there were hands involved, things got pretty handsy, but never any actual hand _jobs_ and definitely not anything further and I just don’t get _why_.”

Chris emits a sound like a gag and starts to say something, but Eduardo cuts him off. “I mean, other than the obvious, which is that anytime something starts to happen Hayden starts crying. _It’s like he has Spidey-senses Chris, I kid you not_. Never have children, they’re the biggest cockblock ever.”

There is something like a bitter laugh from the other end of the phone. “Oh yeah, because of all the sex I’m having on the regular?”

And that immediately makes him feel guilty, because out of all of them, Chris is the most normal and how does it make sense that Mark and Eduardo are _dating_ and nothing has happened yet with Dustin and Aubrey but it’s bound to, and in how in the world is it fair that Chris is still single? So of course Eduardo immediately starts to apologize.

“Never mind, never mind, it’s two a.m., forget I said anything,” Chris says immediately, and then lets out an audible sigh. “Eduardo, I would expect this from Chris or Dustin, but you’re supposed to be the socially _competent_ one.”

Eduardo sighs back and cards his hand through his hair nervously. “I know, I know, but it’s two a.m. and Mark has always managed to make me… _not_.” Some part of Eduardo’s brain informs him that that sentence was a grammatical mess, but the fact that he can string words together when he’s this tired and this sexually frustrated is a miracle in and of itself, in his opinion.

That at least gets a laugh. “That’s very true,” Chris concedes, and then pauses. “You know, you could always just _talk_ to Mark. It’s not like he’d turn you down.”

But see, that answer feels too easy and Eduardo feels a little bit like he’s been cheated. “That’s much too obvious to ever work.”

Chris hangs up on him abruptly and Eduardo doesn’t blame him.  
*

 

They go out that Friday, and things are going really well. They’ve been on dates before, of course, but this one is going really well, without Eduardo even having to really try… Everything just sort of effortlessly falls into place. There’s easy conversation at dinner, they play footsie under the table like a couple of lovestruck teens, and at one point Mark reaches over and covers Eduardo’s hand with his own. Eduardo grins into his menu (as his heart practically leaps in his chest) and Mark grins back, like he knows just what he’s doing to Eduardo, until the waitress comes along and startles them both out of it.

Afterwards, they head over to the movie. It’s a short walk from the restaurant, and Mark is already mocking the movie in his cynical, good-natured way, and Eduardo is laughing as he bumps his shoulder against Mark’s. Mark smiles down at his feet and reaches out tentatively to take a hold of Eduardo’s hand.

Eduardo gives a small smile too, and he knows they should probably be more careful but he just can’t bring himself to pull his hand out of Mark’s. Instead he laces their fingers together so that their palms are flushed together, and looks over at Mark with hearts in his eyes.

They manage to make it into the theater just fine, no one appears to see them or care, and so maybe it lulls them into a false sense of security, but whatever. Tonight Eduardo just doesn’t give a shit. He lays his head on Mark’s shoulder about halfway through the movie, and he feels Mark stiffen for a moment but then relax into it, and Eduardo feels incredibly lighter.

So when they leave the theater, nothing changes. They’re still holding hands as they make their way back to the car, and Mark is tearing the movie to shreds and somehow it’s making Eduardo laugh so hard he can’t breathe. He’s found himself doing a lot of that lately.

“Seriously Wardo, how is that possible,” he continues, like he’s still bent on trying to convince Eduardo of the many unrealistic aspects of the plot, but they both know he’s just doing it to keep Eduardo laughing at this point. “No really, tell me, what are the chances that they would run into each other at not one, not two, not even three but _four_ weddings? Romantic comedies are written by morons. I am totally judging your taste right now.”

As stern as he’s trying to sound, he just can’t pull it off. Eduardo’s laughter must be contagious, because even Mark is chuckling as he says it. “Shut up,” Eduardo protests jokingly. “I did not come up with seeing that on my own, it was Dustin’s recommendation.” Eduardo stops himself from thinking _maybe this is_ it _, maybe it will happen tonight_ ….

Mark makes a sound like a scoff as he rolls his eyes. “Oh thank god, that makes so much more sense.”

Eduardo actually has to turn his head because he really can’t look at Mark’s face, that’s how hard he’s laughing. So that’s why he doesn’t see it.

But he knows something’s wrong as soon as turns back, because the expression on Mark’s face as changed from happy and teasing to a puzzled, somber one. Eduardo opens his mouth to ask what’s wrong when there’s a flash out of the corner of his eye, and he feels all the color drain from his face. “Shit,” he exhales, and Mark lets go of his hand like it’s on fire.

There’s a harsh intensity in Mark’s eyes as he heads over towards the guy with the camera, the kind of fire that began Facemash and the fire that screamed _Oh yeah? And how’s it going so far?_ in that stupid yellow hallway. Even worse, the guy who snapped the picture must be an idiot since he’s waving at them excitedly, like he’s oblivious to what’s happening. Eduardo jogs after Mark, calling out his name and trying to get him to calm down, but Mark waves him off without even turning to look at him. Eduardo follows anyway.

“Hey you!” Mark calls out, louder than necessary since he’s about ten feet from the guy at this point.

The guy looks like he’s about to pee himself with excitement, he’s practically jumping up and down on the pavement. “Oh my god, _hi_!” he exclaims.

Mark recoils for a minute and stops in place, like what’s happening is not making sense to him. It’s quite lucky actually, because it gives Eduardo a moment to catch up to him. “Mark, listen, I don’t want that photo everywhere either but don’t do anything stupid--”

“You’re Mark _Zuckerberg_! And you’re Eduardo Saverin, obviously!” the guy responds. He’s a little on the nerdy side, with square rimmed glasses and he’s unshaven, wearing some graphic t-shirt which Eduardo is sure has some kind of geek emblem embossed on it. “I just can’t believe this is happening!” He seems… starstruck?

“Wait,” Mark says, his expression softening a little bit. “You’re not… paparazzi?”

The guy flat out _laughs_ at them. “Paparazzi? Hell no! Just a huge, _huge_ fan of yours, Mr. Zuckerberg,” he says, nodding a little during the last part, like he’s trying to show Mark how much respect he has for him or something.

“Um…” Mark manages. Eduardo wonders if this is the first time Mark’s run into a fan of his on the street, not expecting it. He knows Mark can be quite charming when he talks to them at tech conferences at whatnot, so this sudden astonishment throws him. It could be the element of surprise, or it could just be the fact that Mark doesn’t know what to do now about the photo. “Um, thanks,” he finally finishes, though the deer in the headlights look remains, so Eduardo steps in.

“Listen, could you do us a huge favor? Since you’re such a fan of Mark’s?” The guy nods vigorously within seconds, like he’d be willing to do anything for the _great_ Mark Zuckerberg. For some reason just thinking about it causes a swell of jealousy inside Eduardo, even though he knows it’s ridiculous. “Great. We need those pictures you took.”

It makes sense that he’s a fan of Mark’s, Eduardo figures, as he regards the guy’s quizzical expression, like the request doesn’t make any sense. “Uh, sure…” he says willingly. “I just don’t know how to…” he trails off, holding up his camera helplessly. “It’s new.”

“Do you have a laptop on you?” Mark cuts in just a little impatiently, because he’s finally in his element: technology. Eduardo almost laughs at the question, because _who goes out with their laptop on them_? But he is a fan of Mark’s after all, so Eduardo really shouldn’t be surprised when the guy pulls one right out of the backpack he’s carrying.

Within seconds, Mark has extracted the pictures from the camera’s memory card, emailed them to himself, and deleted the email, pictures, and raw files for the pictures off the guy’s camera and computer. The speed with which he does so is impressive, but Eduardo is more preoccupied with the way Mark is sticking out his tongue a little bit in concentration and willing himself not to turn red.

“There we go,” Mark says afterwards, handing the computer back. “We just don’t want… We’re trying to… Anyway, we don’t want to take any chances,” he finally explains, nodding a little as he does so. Then his tone changes a little, and it’s almost sympathetic. “I’m sorry. I know you’re a fan.”

The guy does look a little disappointed, which Eduardo feels bad about, he does. But not bad enough to let him have those pictures. “Listen,” Mark continues. “If there’s anything we can do for you--”

He perks up immediately at the suggestion. “Yeah! Like I said, I’m kind of your biggest fan and I’m an amateur programmer myself… Can you sign my laptop?” he asks, fumbling in his bag for a minute before producing a sharpie.

Mark smiles, almost gracious if not for the tiny edge of annoyance Eduardo can just barely detect. “Of course,” he replies, and quickly scribbles his signature across the gray face of the laptop. He starts to hand the sharpie back, but then hesitates momentarily. Next thing Eduardo knows he’s grabbing the guy’s hand and writing his personal email, accompanied with, “Just in case you ever need some programming advice.”

Eduardo feels his fists clench at his sides and reminds himself jealousy is petty, but he still puts his hand on Mark’s shoulder as he finishes. “Thanks so much!” he says, exerting gentle pressure on Mark, leading him away as the fan waves before continuing on his way.

He kind of wants to laugh at the whole situation, the absurdity of it all, not to mention the déjà vu effect of the night of the Bill Gates speech at Harvard. He almost does, in fact, or even start to mention it, but he sneaks a look at Mark, who’s fidgeting a little and whipping out his phone. He looks really nervous, and it makes Eduardo want to hold his hand. He reminds himself that that’s part of how the whole mess got started in the first place, so he resists.

“We’ve got to call Chris,” Mark notes as they get into the car.

Eduardo sighs as he drives, and listens to the frenzied tone in Mark’s voice as he explains everything to Chris, who sounds just as harried by the news. And then Mark is inviting Chris over so they can all talk about it.

Once again, Eduardo’s hopes for the night are shot.  
*

The two of them are huddled around the kitchen table an hour or so later with Chris, who drove over just to try and work everything out.

Chris runs a hand through his hair roughly, causing it to stick out at odd angles. They’re all far too tired to be doing this, but the events of a couple hours before seem to have put everyone on edge. They’re all fully woken up to the fact that keeping the relationship a secret just didn’t seem like the best course of action anymore (if it ever was).

“You guys,” Chris continues. “I know it’s not what you want, but really, doing one interview with a respected news outlet will put the whole thing to rest, and then everyone can move on with their lives.”

Mark leans his chair back on two legs and bites down absentmindedly on his lip, a sight that would normally drive Eduardo crazy in any other context. He scoffs a little at Chris’ proposal. “I just don’t think anybody _cares_. I mean, sure, we want the story to come out on our terms, but at the same time, I don’t understand why we couldn’t just do an interview with a magazine or a radio station or something. Why does it have to be _television_?” he asks, practically spitting out the last word.

Chris rolls his eyes, and Eduardo can’t even really blame him, because he has been over the whole thing a couple of times and Mark is just being stubborn at this point. “Go ahead Mark, you can do a quick over the phone interview with _People_ magazine, but I promise you, then you’ll be granting interviews to every little media department that also wants a little bit of the scoop. It’s easier to just start off big and end it in one shot, I promise you. And of course people will care! You sued each other and now you’re dating, you can’t make this shit up. You’re practically a rom-com.” Mark makes a gagging sound.

He turns to Eduardo, supposedly expecting him to help convince Mark, but he immediately sees the look of worry in his eyes. “C’mon Eduardo, not you too. Look, _60 Minutes_ isn’t even that bad; they’ll tape you both going about your business and then ask you a couple of questions, edit it together into a five minute segment, and then the whole thing will be over with. Easy as pie.”

Mark catches Eduardo’s eye for a second, somehow managing to communicate _we don’t have to do this if it will make you uncomfortable_ just with his eyes, but then Eduardo finally nods. “It’s fine,” he agrees. “We’ll do _60 Minutes_.”

Chris does a fist pump, and then is rushing to his phone and calling immediately, waving at them. He looks like a man on a mission, too focused to even say goodbye, just trying to get the show on the road.

Eduardo looks at Mark then, who is chewing fixatedly on his lip. He looks bone tired, and Eduardo knows how much Mark hates this side of it all: the fuss, the press, the public interest. He still feels a tiny bit disappointed that sex is so obviously not going to happen tonight, but more so he’s worried about Mark. He doesn’t like seeing him like this.

He’s about to say something, but then Mark speaks first. “I should head home,” he states with a weary smile that doesn’t fool Eduardo, standing up and grabbing his phone and keys.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” Eduardo tries futilely, knowing he’s going to get turned down. “It’s late, Mark…”

Mark shakes his head. “I’m fine. I just need to get home and… and think.” He pauses as they reach the door, and then leans in to kiss Eduardo slowly. It’s sweet but short, much shorter than Eduardo would really like. Mark runs his thumb back and forth across Eduardo’s cheek as he pulls away, resting their foreheads together and eyes still closed. “Sorry this date turned into such a shitfest.”

Eduardo laughs. “Mark, it’s okay. It happens.” And he means it too; he would rather be on a shitty date with Mark than an amazing, mind-blowing night with anyone else in the world. Just being with Mark makes things better.

Mark opens his eyes, and then gives Eduardo a more real smile as he steps away and pulls open the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says. “I’m sure if Chris has his way they’ll start filming ASAP.”

Eduardo can’t help but roll his eyes in response, just because he’s really not looking forward to this. He starts to say goodnight, but then Hayden starts to cry upstairs and he groans internally.

This time it’s Mark’s turn to laugh as he steps outside. “Looks like duty calls.” He gives Eduardo’s hand a final squeeze. “Night, Wardo,” he says, softly, and Eduardo has to strain to hear it over Hayden’s cries.

He closes the door and watches his boyfriend leave from the window just for a few seconds before bounding up the stairs to rock Hayden. He still feels nervous about the upcoming interview, but it eases away slowly as he falls asleep (still in the same dress pants and shirt, no less) in the nursery rocking chair with Hayden in his arms.  
*

Turns out Mark had been right; _60 Minutes_ sends a crew to the house in the morning. Mark arrives just a couple minutes before them, and the three of them (followed by the camera crew) talk a walk through the neighborhood and relax in the park. The crew then follows Mark into the office the next day to get some solo interview shots (Eduardo already did his at the park). 

The next day the crew comes back to interview them together, and the whole thing goes fine, really. I mean, there are little things that annoy him, the interviewer Leslie is much too fake and insincere, and they’re both so exhausted at the end of the day that there is absolutely no chance of Mark staying over, which sucks. 

But he promises, _promises_ to come over on Sunday night so they can watch it together. They have dinner, put Hayden to bed, and the collapse onto the couch.  
Eduardo curls into Mark’s side as they turn on _60 Minutes_. He still has in laptop out, fingers clacking away at the keys as he codes. He’s feigning apathy, but Eduardo still feels Mark tense as they flip to the channel and that incessant ticking starts up. He squeezes Mark’s knee a little bit as together they watch Steve Kroft introduce the night’s stories, and then feels Mark relax a little as they both realize theirs is last. 

They sit through the broadcast, idly chatting and commenting back and forth as they watch. Mark continues typing and Eduardo stays snuggled up against Mark, trying to fight the way his eyes are drooping even though it’s only 9:50. 

It’s _their_ story before they know it, and the camera is zooming in on Leslie Stahl. Mark’s fingers abruptly stop typing, freezing instantly over the keys. Eduardo wants to look at him but can’t bring himself to, his stomach is just a bundle of nerves and he feels a little bit sick. Then he feels Mark’s hand moving a little recklessly, and it takes a minute before he realizes that it’s flailing around for _Eduardo’s_ hand. Eduardo stifles a smile as he reaches out, threading his fingers through Mark’s. Mark holds on like the death grip will save him, and exhales slowly. 

“Here we go,” he whispers into Eduardo’s hair, and then it starts. 

Eduardo can’t really recall how she introduced the report, because he’s too busy feeling all the annoyance he felt while taping and noticing the way his skin crawls slightly at the sight of her fake smile. Then, thank god, the camera is on the Facebook offices, people hunched over computers at desks, the wall, and that blue and white contrast. 

“The story behind Facebook has always been more than a little complex. Founder Mark Zuckerberg has been involved in everything from intellectual property lawsuits to privacy settings scandals, not to mention the debacle that everyone remembers most: the lawsuit after diluting his best friend and co-founder out of the company,” she details as the camera continues to focus on programmers working away busily, sometimes cutting away to show an individual here or there. 

Next Mark is the foreground, a shot coding at his desk, a shot strategizing with Chris in the conference room, and then finally a shot of Mark shaking hands with the interviewer and sitting down. In voiceover, Eduardo hears her say, “Mark Zuckerberg has always made headlines, and this latest story is no exception.” 

The camera cuts to the interview sitting across from Mark in his office. “So, last time we talked, I asked how happy you were on a scale of one to ten, and you said six.”

Mark’s focus is obvious in his gaze as he nods in response. “So, where are you now?” she asks from off-screen. 

He breaks into a beaming grin, and Eduardo feels a sweet warmth spread through his body as he watches. Onscreen, Mark blushes a little and scratches at his neck, ducking his head for a moment before he looks back up and says, “Eleven.” 

“All things considered,” Leslie commentates, as the video pans across the Facebook offices, “it’s not hard to figure out why.” It fades into a close-up of their hands clasped together, and then quickly zooms out and there they are, sitting side by side in the same living room they’re in right now. (Admittedly, with some differences they’d made for the camera, such as the wooden chairs brought in from the kitchen. Eduardo had cleaned the living room top to bottom in anticipation of filming.) They’re facing each other and Mark is talking about something, though the sound is muffled so that you can hear Leslie’s voiceover better, but Eduardo’s mostly focusing on the way Mark has lit up. He barely catches the way that he himself looks just incandescently happy as he laughs along, because looking at himself on TV makes him itch inside of his skin. “In the terms of his own website, Mark Zuckerberg is in a relationship with Eduardo Saverin.”

It cuts to Leslie, who is clearly entertained watching them. “Don’t you think people will be confused? I mean, this isn’t exactly a typical story…”

Mark nods, and then turns to Eduardo, who leans forward a little and says, “Well, Mark and I never really did _anything_ the typical way.” 

The segment continues but Eduardo feels like he’s having an out of body experience… He’s tuned Leslie out completely now and is mostly just looking at the way they act together. Mark looks a lot more relaxed in his skin when he and Eduardo are together, and Eduardo watches the way he maneuvers with ease around Mark, stepping into his space to grasp his hand or lead him by the small of his back, and the most amazing part is how _Mark doesn’t shy away_ —in fact, he gives just as good as he gets, in a way Eduardo never really noticed before. 

It then continues, showing Hayden and giving the bare bones of that story too, showing clips of the he and Mark pushing the stroller down the sidewalk, he, Mark, and Hayden at the park, the three of them eating at the breakfast table and in Hayden’s nursery… And then another question from Leslie. 

“Did you ever think you would be here?”

Eduardo smiles down at his shoes. “Hoped I would be here, yeah… But never—not realistically—no.” He looks back up at Leslie, and he remembers this moment quite clearly, remembers what she says next. 

“And?” she prompts. 

He nods, looking at Leslie head on, his face full of feeling. He remembers holding back tears. “I never would have thought that _anything_ could have made it all—the dilution, the lawsuit, all of it… worth it. But this does.”

As the story wraps up, it returns to Mark and Leslie in Mark’s office, as she asks him, “So where do you think you’ll be next time we talk?”

Mark laughs a little. “Um, well… I can’t imagine any situation in which I wouldn’t still be with Eduardo and Hayden.” 

They cut to Leslie, who smiles. Eduardo may normally think her smile is a little too slippery (seriously, way too smarmy, _Sean Parker_ _levels_ of oily), but this one actually looks genuine, and his opinion her rises a miniscule amount. 

Then they’re back to Mark, who is quietly grinning as he continues. “I’d really be a big idiot if I screwed this up, and I’m going to try as hard as possible not to. This sounds silly but… the stakes are so much higher this time.” 

The segment ends with a shot of Mark and Eduardo holding hands as Eduardo balances Hayden on his hip. 

They return to the studio shot of Leslie, who wraps up the broadcast with, “This Facebook love story is still being written.” 

Mark reaches for the remote and clicks the power button, and they sit together in silence for a minute. 

“Oh god,” Eduardo finally says, breaking the silence and covering his face with his hands. “That was _awful_.” 

Mark looks over at him in a moment, face quizzically arranged as he shuts his laptop and pushes it onto the coffee table. “Um… Were we watching the same thing here?” There’s a little bit of a laugh in his voice, but a kind one. “Because I honestly think wasn’t that bad.”

Eduardo rolls into the couch to better hide his face, though he can feel his blush spreading all the way down to his collarbone. “Ugh, it _was_! Didn’t you _see me?_ I was astonishingly incoherent and I spent most of my time on camera sort of awkwardly messing with my hair or looking at you with these gigantic hearts in my eyes and all of it was just _terrible--_ ”

Mark cuts him off with a laugh and leans over to pull Eduardo’s hands away from his face. “Hey,” he says softly and a little adoringly, which makes Eduardo’s heart skip a beat. Eduardo refuses to meet Mark’s eyes, but Mark tilts his chin up so Eduardo has to look at him. “Hey,” he repeats more forcefully as their eyes meet this time. “Wardo, the fact that _you_ are worried about how you look on TV is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard, okay. I mean, if I _cared_ enough to worry about that it would at least make sense for me, because I have a giant mop of curls and shit, but you… You’re like… You have hair that defies gravity and you always have a tan and you’re the _last_ person who needs to worry about what you look like on TV.”

Eduardo’s face is completely flushed, but it’s not from embarrassment about the interview anymore. 

“Besides,” Mark adds, “I really, _really_ like the gigantic hearts in your eyes.” He tries to say it with a smirk, but his smile is really much softer than he would like, Eduardo is sure. Eduardo can’t help but grin back at him, and for a moment it’s perfect. He thinks to himself that he’d like to stay in this moment forever.

But he doesn’t, instead he scrambles up to meet their lips and it’s even better. Mark is kissing him slow and sweet, the kind of kiss that convinces Eduardo this is something _else_ , something different from the other relationships he’s had, something that together they can _keep._

“Mark,” he murmurs against his lips, trying to pull away enough to be able to think straight. Mark isn’t having any of it; he has his hands snaked around Eduardo’s neck and shakes his head minutely, like it’s too far away as Eduardo tries to pull back. Eduardo chuckles a little bit at that, so instead he rests his forehead against Mark’s with a contented sigh. 

“Mark,” he repeats, this time determined to get it out. Mark’s eyes slowly open and meet Eduardo’s. Eduardo breathes deep for a moment, and it comes out a little shaky. “D’you want to stay over tonight?”

He freezes, like he’s unsure of how to respond. The next words come so quickly Eduardo has to strain to hear them. 

“I don’t have any other clothes.”

Eduardo laughs full and bright, pulling away just for a second before pressing their foreheads together again and shaking his head. “That’s okay.”

“I have work tomorrow, though.”

“So do I.”

“Chris and Dustin will never let it go if I come in wearing these same clothes.”

He laughs again, and this time Mark joins him a little bit. “You can wear some of mine. Or call off.”

Mark swallows and kisses Eduardo again, this time harder and with more hunger. He scratches lightly at the back of Eduardo’s scalp and a little whimper escapes Eduardo’s lips against his will, and suddenly he is hoping frantically that the kiss means yes.

When Mark pulls away his eyes are dark, almost all pupil, but he’s a little flushed too and he looks thrilled. “We’re doing this?” 

Eduardo nods frantically and pulls him in for one last kiss, and then is grabbing his hand and pulling him off the couch. “Yes.”  
*

Then they’re tripping up the stairs, giddy on the moment and giggling. A million and one thoughts are racing through Eduardo’s head; everything from thanking god Hayden has started sleeping through the night and the idea from earlier of Mark in his _clothes_ … But mostly that he can’t believe this is happening; he can’t believe this is finally happening _with Mark_. 

The last notion alone is enough that Eduardo has to push Mark up against the wall halfway up and pin his wrists above his head. It’s too much, they’re kissing hard and fast with too much teeth and energy, but somehow it’s _so good_ that Eduardo feels weak at the knees. They’re breathing hot and harsh and Mark sort of growls into it. Eduardo feels himself grow harder at the very sound, so he grinds down against Mark in retaliation, sucking a hickey into Mark’s neck.

“Wardo, Wardo…” Mark gasps. “We have to… bed… now… before…”

It’s not a full sentence, not even really a coherent thought, but Eduardo gets the gist. He nips softly at Mark’s neck before grinning wickedly at him and walking backwards, dragging Mark towards the bedroom. 

Mark pushes him down onto the bed forcefully, and oh god Eduardo is _so_ turned on. He didn’t even _know_ he could be this turned on. Mark straddles Eduardo, gathers his face up in his hands to kiss him wetly, and then works his hands down until they’re under Eduardo’s shirt to run his slender fingers run across Eduardo’s skin and Eduardo shivers. It’s only momentary. Next he’s pushing up Eduardo’s shirt, but isn’t able to break away for long enough to actually work it up over his head. Finally Eduardo pushes him away for just long enough to pull it off, and Mark surges back for another kiss, but Eduardo darts playfully just out of reach. 

“No way, yours too,” he says, a little more breathlessly and rougher than he would like, but he can’t bring himself to really care. Getting four words out was a challenge in itself, he can’t imagine what kind of effort making them sound _composed_ would take. 

Mark rolls his eyes a little bit, like it’s unnecessary, but does as he’s told. “Happy?” he says, deadpan, while leaning in to steal his kiss. 

“Extremely,” Eduardo manages to whisper smugly before their tongues are tangling together again. He relishes running his hands up and down the expanse of Mark’s chest, ghosting his fingers so lightly that Mark responds with a bit of a whimper. 

Mark changes focus and starts kissing (or rather licking, to be more accurate) down Eduardo’s chest. He’s attempting to unbutton Eduardo’s pants with shaking fingers, and Eduardo gasps a little as Mark softly bites his left hipbone, peeking out just barely above the top of his jeans. Finally the stubborn button is undone and Mark pulls Eduardo’s pants completely off. 

He mouths at Eduardo through the cotton of his boxers, the front of which are already damp with pre-come, eliciting some mumbled Portuguese curses and _oh—_ his hands go instinctively to Mark’s hair. Mark dips his fingers tentatively under the elastic waistband and then casts his eyes up to Eduardo for permission (even though he obviously doesn’t need it). 

“Yeah, yes,” Eduardo pants inanely, squeezing his eyes shut for half a second. “But this is going to be over really fast.”

When he opens them again he sees Mark smirking at him and tugging his boxers down, and before Eduardo even has a moment to be grateful his cock is no longer trapped, Mark is breathing sharply right up against it and then darting his tongue out to lick at the head. Eduardo makes a sound that is entirely too loud and too high pitched, but helpless. 

Then Mark’s lips close around him and it’s all Eduardo can do not to thrust up into his mouth that instant. He had always known that Mark had an oral fixation, he’d always wondered about it sort of aimlessly and what kind of effect it would have on _this_ —but Eduardo can honestly say it’s beyond what he could have ever imagined. 

Mark immediately takes almost all of Eduardo in. “C _aralho,_ ” Eduardo swears breathily as Mark’s head bobs and mouth sucks, tongue flicking and swirling around him. Mark’s rhythm is alternating between agonizingly slow and blisteringly fast, and Eduardo can feel every nerve in his body screaming with pleasure. **(Fuck)**

He thinks of how he used to think about this in college, in the shower, jerking off, or even when he was with Christy… How he thought of it that one time when he hooked up with that random guy in Singapore when he was desperately drunk. He thinks of how he just wants this forever, Mark’s wet hot heat around him and how badly he wants to come and oh _Deus_ , please oh _please_ let him come… **(God)**

At that Mark pulls off abruptly, and Eduardo practically sobs at the loss of contact, his hips thrusting up into the cold air where Mark’s mouth had just been. “ _Fuck_ Wardo, really?” Mark murmurs, sounding amazed, and Eduardo realizes that _damn_ , he must have said all that out loud. 

There isn’t time to explain anything though, because Mark dives back in within seconds and Eduardo is _so_ close to coming, and gives an extra tug on Mark’s hair to tell him (because he knows he can’t form words right now). Mark mumbles around him, words jumbled but tone clear— _duh, obviously—_ and doesn’t pull off. So then Eduardo’s coming fast and he’s seeing spots of white behind his eyes and moaning so wantonly he blushes all the way down to his collarbone just _hearing_ the sounds he’s making. And Mark takes it all, swallows, obviously a pro at this (a thought that makes Eduardo’s insides flare up with jealousy along with the heat because _jesus_ , Mark. Mark, who _just swallowed completely…_ ) before pulling off with a slick pop and climbing up Eduardo’s body to kiss him. 

Eduardo can taste himself on Mark’s tongue, and that should probably be gross and weird him out—it has in the past—but somehow with Mark it just makes the whole thing that much _hotter_ , and he’s licking into Mark’s mouth greedily as he pulls down Mark’s pants in a swift tug. 

He doesn’t waste time with the boxers either, yanking them down around Mark’s ankles as he moves to bite at Mark’s earlobe, his jaw line, and press a kiss to his Adam’s apple, his collarbone, admiring it all… He can’t help it, under his breath he lets out, “ _Querido, você é tão lindo_ …” He tweaks Mark’s nipple with one hand and works him with the other, pulling slowly, teasing just a little, dragging it out and savoring the way Mark looks desperate, making sounds that go straight to Eduardo’s already hardening dick. **(Baby, you’re so gorgeous…)**

Mark rocks into his touch, eyes squeezed shut. Despite the angle, despite the fact that Eduardo’s grip isn’t perfect, despite _everything_ , all it takes is for Eduardo to drag his teeth along Mark’s nipple and then he’s coming all over Eduardo’s hand. Not to mention his own stomach, shaking with the force of it. It’s so fast Eduardo thinks it must be some kind of record. 

Eduardo rolls into Mark’s side, and the rustle of the sheets in the process is drowned out by the thumping of his own heart. He curls up and tucks his head under Mark’s chin, feeding off his warmth and pressing a kiss to the hollow of his throat. He stretches out to wrap his arms around him and looks up at Mark. 

Mark gives him a small, sated smile. He runs his thumb back and forth across Eduardo’s shoulder blade, and Eduardo immediately gets goosebumps. Mark smirks when he sees it—not unkindly, just like he’s pleased with the effect he so obviously has on Eduardo. Eduardo blushes, and Mark laughs softly at his reaction, twisting his lips into a smirk. “Well?” he asks. 

Eduardo rolls his eyes, because seriously, like Mark doesn’t know _exactly_ how good it was. He means to bite back with an equally sarcastic remark, but he can’t help it, he just melts into a gentle, contented expression and leans up so he’s just about an inch from Mark’s lips. Mark tries to lean in and connect them, but Eduardo pulls back another inch teasingly. He feels Mark’s breath quicken as he does so. 

“You’re lucky I think smug is cute on you,” Eduardo grins, eyes darting everywhere across Mark’s face, loving the way he’s completely captivating him. 

As a response, he gets an impatient noise from Mark, who’s still waiting for a kiss but waiting obediently (and is maybe getting off just a little bit from being denied, Eduardo’s going to have to explore that further later). “That’s not an answer,” he replies breathlessly, eyes flitting from Eduardo’s eyes to his mouth. 

Which makes Eduardo’s smile impossibly wider. “Fine,” he says, acting exaggeratingly put upon. He shifts just a couple of tantalizing centimeters closer and breathes, “Worth waiting for,” and then kisses Mark in the next instant, ending the anticipation. 

Mark sighs into it happily and Eduardo can feel his smile through the kiss. When they pull away, Mark moves even nearer, so that they are pressed together from head to toe. And that’s how they fall asleep, so intertwined even _they_ can’t tell where one ends and the other begins.  
*

 

Their next morning is unusually peaceful. Hayden doesn’t wake until eight o’clock, but Mark and Eduardo are up at seven, soaking in the sun that’s streaming through the windows and trading lazy kisses. 

Aubrey shows up right on time as always. Eduardo’s halfway out the door and she’s halfway up the stairs, on her way to take Hayden from Mark so he can head to work too. She throws over her shoulder, “Oh, and hey, Eduardo! I saw the segment, it was adorable… Congrats!” with a smile. 

Eduardo’s a little thrown by it—he’d honestly forgotten all about it until now—but allows himself a small smile and murmurs, “thanks” under his breath. Aubrey doesn’t hear it, she’s already upstairs, but it makes Eduardo pause happily for a moment before continuing the rest of the way out the door. 

As he’s driving to work, he starts to wonder why things _were_ so quiet today, and reaches into his pocket to find that his phone is still off. He and Mark had turned them off during and after the segment, under Chris’ recommendation. Turns out he was right, as usual, and Eduardo’s phone starts vibrating nonstop, alerting him of text messages, missed calls, and Facebook wall posts. The thought of all those good wishes makes him a little dizzy and he simply throws his phone into the empty passenger seat for now.

He goes through all of it once he gets to his desk, and then tries to work. It proves difficult when coworkers are giving him well-meaning but endless good luck wishes, not to mention the fact that his phone just _keeps going off_. He always checks the display to see who it is—he just can’t resist the temptation—but more often than not he just ignores it. 

Right as he puts it down for what seems like the thousandth time and resolving not to check his phone again, he hears the ringtone and can’t resist just peeking at it. The name sends a nervous tremor up his spine and he has to resist with every bone in his body not to hang up on it right then and there. Instead he just clenches his teeth, takes a deep breath, and picks up. 

Immediately his ears are assaulted with an angry screech. “Eduardo _, agora você pegar ... O segmento de! Qual é o seu problema? Você quer me ou simplesmente estúpido_?” **(Eduardo, now you pick up... The segment! What is your problem? Are you out to get me or just plain stupid?)**

Eduardo pinches the bridge of his nose and exhales slowly. “Celia, _desacelerar_ … I didn’t understand anything you just said, it’s like you were talking at the speed of _light¬--”_ **(slow down)**

“Did you know that Mamãe called me this morning sobbing hysterically because she didn’t know you had a kid? Seriously Eduardo, how is that okay? You could have at least _called_ and prepared me for the bomb you were about to drop, or did you forget that she and Pai have watched _60 Minutes_ every Sunday since we’ve lived here?”

Eduardo can feel the angry heat he always gets when he talks or thinks of his father, and tries to count to ten before he responds to calm himself down. He manages to respond at least somewhat peacefully, “Yes. I did forget about that. I’m sorry, Celia.”

His reply doesn’t soothe her in the least. “Thank you Eduardo, but actually that’s not the issue. Some warning would have been nice, yes, but how could you not have _told_ them?! About the _baby,_ at the very least?”

He can’t contain his irritation at this, and bursts out, “ _Merda_ Celia, you know I sent a card--” (shit)

“Hah!” she bites out humorlessly. “You know that Pai has been throwing out all mail from or addressed to you, I told you that, the card was a cop-out.” 

“Well _you_ knew, you could have told them!”

“I refuse to get into your squabbles anymore, I’ve done enough of that to last me the rest of my life, thank you.” Her tone is thick with implication but bitter and distant at the same time, and Eduardo flinches at the words. “Besides, don’t you think that you owe your parents an actual conversation to tell them they’re grandparents? They gave _you_ life, don’t you think they deserve to know about their _netinho_ from you instead of a card--” **(little grandbaby)**

“No, Celia, I don’t,” Eduardo cuts her off, his voice dangerously cool. “And you know why? I’ve only been a father for about four months, but I could never, _ever_ even _fathom_ treating my son—who has a name by the way, it’s Hayden, thanks—the way Pai has treated me. So I’m sorry about Mamãe, I truly am, but if she’s going to back him up on this, than it’s her loss.” 

He is met with silence on the other end, and for a minute he thinks that Celia has hung up on him. Then she says softer, “Okay. I’m sorry.” 

Eduardo lets a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. “I’m sorry too.” And then, against his better judgment, but he just needs to know, “What did Pai say about it?” 

Celia’s voice is gentler, like she doesn’t want to tell him because she knows it will upset him. “Oh, the usual,” and she imitates their father’s deep tone, “‘Another one of Eduardo’s questionable decisions.’” 

He feels himself immediately deflate even though it’s no more or less than what he was expecting, and so he pinches the side of his leg so he will concentrate on the physical pain instead of the emotion. But he can’t stop himself from overanalyzing it. “Was that about Hayden or Mark, d’you think?”

“Who knows,” Celia says dismissively. “Does it matter?”

“Well, which are they more upset about?” he persists, even though he knows it’s masochistic. 

He can hear the hesitancy in her voice as she answers. “I don’t think it’s a more or less kind of situation, Eduardo. It’s _different_. They’re hurt that they didn’t know about the ba— _Hayden_ ,” she corrects herself (and Eduardo is a little grateful, because she’s trying just like he is, albeit in the only backwards way he knows how), “but they’re worried about you and Mark. He’s hurt you before, Eduardo, even though Pai may not act like it, he doesn’t actually like seeing you in pain.” 

Eduardo almost huffs out a scoff, but bites his lip to stop himself. He might not believe in his father anymore, but Celia will probably never give up on him, and he’s not going to try and take that away from her. 

“You know,” she continues, an edge of regret in her voice, “I may bitch and moan about wanting you two to make up, or about how I’m always the go-between, but…” she sighs, and because Eduardo knows her so well he can practically hear Celia turning the words over in her head, phrasing and rephrasing them, trying to make amends. “I want you to be happy. More than anything. You know that. _Né_?” **(right?)**

A smile grows on his face. He is so often proud of his younger sister, of her softness and also of the fierceness and strength he wishes he had. “ _Sim,_ Celia.” **(yeah)**

There is a moment of amiable silence between them. Celia finally breaks it, and her voice is a bit lighter but just as quiet. “ _Eu te amo, irmão mais velho_.” **(I love you, big brother)**

He laughs tenderly, and feels his eyes sting with tears just a little bit. “ _Você também, irmãzinha_.” **(You too, little sister)**

“I’ll talk to you soon,” she says, and he can hear a little bit of rawness in her voice, and he’s overwhelmed by a sense of yearning for her to be _there_ , right then, so he can wrap her in a tight hug. 

“Okay,” he answers an echo of that same roughness in his own, and then he hears her hang up. 

He puts down his phone delicately on the desk, and tries not to think about the whole thing for the rest of the day, just concentrate on work. But it’s hard to shake the overpowering feeling of how much he misses her.  
*

When Eduardo gets home, he feels emotionally and physically drained. However, it doesn’t stop him from bounding up the stairs two at a time to see Hayden, because even if everything else is going wrong, his son can make him feel on top of the world. He gets through the doorway and sees him with Aubrey, the two of them spread out on a blanket she’s laid out on the floor, playing happily with an assortment of stuffed animals. He smiles small and contemplates just watching them for a moment, but Aubrey turns around and sees him. 

Her eyebrows go up and settle there as she looks him up and down. “You look like shit,” she states, matter-of-fact as always. 

Eduardo rolls his eyes at her and enters into the room as she rises off the blanket. “Thanks for noticing,” he says dryly. 

She huffs out a laugh and gathers up her bag, giving him a gentle shove on the shoulder on her way out. “Anytime, boss. But seriously, you look awful. Get some sleep tonight.”  
He can’t help it, his mind immediately rewinds to the night before and he turns beet red. 

She turns to look at him as she heads out the door and her eyes widen. “Oh god, _so_ not what I meant,” she sighs, and Eduardo chuckles a little awkwardly. Then she winks at him and says, “See you tomorrow!” waving a two-fingered salute as she exits. 

Eduardo laughs, head thrown back and full as he settles down on the blanket with Hayden, legs crisscrossed and expression morphed into an exuberant grin for Hayden, who squeals an incomprehensible jumble of happy sounds to see him. 

They spend half an hour like that, and Eduardo wishes that he had been able to spend _all_ day like this, in this little bubble playing with his son where nothing else matters. He feels like any bad day is instantly made better just by seeing Hayden, and actually interacting with him is something else entirely: like everything else is a little less important and that this is really all he needs to be happy; Hayden’s grabby hands and gurgling chuckle.

He’s still sitting Indian-style on the blanket, not really even doing anything other than watching in wonder as Hayden babbles at the zebra-giraffe thing, his head cocked to the side and a hopeless smile on his face. And then the floorboard creaks outside the room and Eduardo looks up and _there_ , there is the other thing that he couldn’t live without. There is Mark standing outside the doorway. 

“Hey,” he says, pleased smile only growing wider. 

Mark’s expression flails a little bit, and it would look odd to an outside observer but Eduardo knows that Mark is trying to fight off a smile. He gives in, much to Eduardo’s delight, because Mark’s dimples sort of make his heart do backflips. “Wardo,” he replies, making his way into Hayden’s room and plopping down beside him. 

Eduardo leans in and lays his head on Mark’s shoulder. “Hi,” he murmurs, still focused on Hayden but able to breathe more easily now. 

Mark laughs a little. “You already said that.”

“I know,” Eduardo says, blushing a little, finding Mark’s hand and fiddling with his fingers, turning his own head a little so he can nuzzle into Mark’s neck and breathe him in.  
Mark clears his throat. “How was your day?”

Eduardo chuckles a little humorlessly. “Impossibly long,” he replies, hating the honesty in his voice. Mark _hmm_ s in response, like he knows exactly what Eduardo means. But he grits his teeth and plows on anyway, because he _needs_ to say it. “I talked to my sister today.”

He feels Mark freeze beside him, like he’s worried about messing this up somehow, which is ridiculous, because basically anything Mark says is _fine_ , they’ve made it through so much bigger and scarier stuff than this. He turns so that he’s resting his chin on top of Eduardo’s head. “Oh. Um. Do you want to talk about it?”  
Eduardo shakes his head, because he doesn’t—not right now, when he’s just getting to feeling a bit better. But he knows that they _will_ talk about it, soon, and that’s what’s important. “I’m just glad you’re here,” he sighs by way of explanation, and he means it in every syllable. He doesn’t have to look up to know that Mark is smiling too.  
*

Mark is rooting around in the kitchen later, looking for something with the same amount of sugar and caffeine as Red Bull, even though they both know he won’t find any. (Eduardo’s not exactly a health nut, but he does have _some_ standards, okay, and there will be no Red Bull in his house.) To be realistic, he’ll find nothing more than a plain old lemon-lime soda, which is what is in his hand when he returns to the kitchen table. 

Eduardo smirks at the can, and Mark, being the king of witty banter that he is, just murmurs, “shut up” quite lowly, and then adjusts in his chair so that his feet are propped up on the one across from him. He pops the tab on his soda and it explodes a little, getting all over his shirt and some on his face, leaving Mark sputtering. “Ugh, Wardo, what the hell,” he says a bit grumpily, and Eduardo bites his lip to keep from bursting out laughing. 

“You know,” Mark begins, his tone teasingly condescending. “I don’t understand your vendetta against caffeine. You probably would have found it quite useful when Hayden was still waking up at all hours of the night. It has these magical powers where it keeps you awake.” He raises his eyebrows at Eduardo, baiting him to play along. 

Eduardo rolls his eyes playfully. “Say what you want Mark, but there will be no Red Bull in my fridge. Ever.” He tries for stern, but Mark has always known his weak spot and looks unconvinced. 

He turns back to his very fizzy soda with a smirk. “Whatever, you’ll crack under the pressure. Eventually.” And then he winks at Eduardo. Which is.

What the fuck. 

How is Eduardo actually supposed to handle that. 

So he tries to hide his blush and shuts his gaping mouth as he turns back to feeding Hayden, trying to shift him just a little bit so that his arm doesn’t fall asleep as Hayden blinks sleepily up at him. It doesn’t work though; he’s already starting to feel the pins and needles climb up his forearm. 

“Oh, and by the way,” Mark says, taking a sip of his drink. “My mom called earlier and she wants us to come for Thanksgiving.” 

He doesn’t meet Eduardo’s eyes and his tone is almost too nonchalant, like it’s manufactured to be an offhand comment. And Eduardo may not always be the best at reading Mark, but he’s pretty sure this means… _nervousness_?

“Hmm,” Eduardo murmurs, nodding a little and trying to catch Mark’s eye. “And is that… something that you want?”

Mark does one of signature shrugs, like he’s trying really hard not to care. “Only if you do,” he says matter-of-factly, carefully avoiding Eduardo’s gaze.

“I do,” Eduardo jumps in, agreeing almost too fast, but he really couldn’t care less. Mark turns to look at him. “I really, really do.”

Mark sets his soda down on the table and puts his hand on Eduardo’s knee. “Are you sure? I don’t, _don’t_ want to pressure you into anything Wardo, and my family is crazy, okay, like… _batshit_ crazy.” To which Eduardo can only roll his eyes. Mark must feel that Eduardo’s not grasping the full gravity of the situation because he continues just as seriously, “I’m serious! We’re the kind of family that wears _matching_ _sweaters_ in the Christmas cards and tell embarrassing baby stories, and if you have plans with your family--”

Eduardo bursts out laughing. “Mark, I have _met_ some of you family and they are not batshit crazy, I promise.”

Now it’s Mark’s turn to roll his eyes. “Well of course Wardo, they keep the crazy under wraps until you’re _one of them._ It’s not long now, she’ll have you in an itchy sweater before we even unpack our bags and now it’s too late to get out and then you’re stuck with—mmph!”

He gets cut off because Eduardo is leaning forward, with Hayden still in his arms, and quickly kissing him, because he just can’t _not_ , not after what Mark’s just said. Even more exciting than what he said was _how_ he said it… the words just came tumbling out of his mouth like he wasn’t even thinking about them.  
Mark steadies him, putting one hand on his cheek to slow him down but kisses back enthusiastically. When he pulls away he looks a little perplexed, but still pleased. “What was that for?” he murmurs, not removing his hand from Eduardo’s cheek to prevent him from moving back. His eyes flick back and forth; from Eduardo’s bright eyes to his lips, like he doesn’t know where he’d rather look. 

“You just said…” his voice cracks on the last word and his eyes fill with tears somehow. Mark sees it and his expression softens even further, and Eduardo tries again. “Mark, you just called me one of your _family_ …” 

Mark lets out a small, kind laugh at Eduardo’s words, and for a minute Eduardo’s mind races, worrying that maybe that’s not what Mark meant at all, until he opens his mouth. “Of course you are. You’ve always been, ever since Harvard, Wardo…”

Eduardo can feel himself exhale a breath he didn’t know he was holding and tries (and fails) not to let any tears spill over. 

Mark looks a little embarrassed about all of it and so he turns away, clasping his hands together in his lap nervously and biting his lip and blushing. He’s not done, but he doesn’t meet Eduardo’s eyes as the next words tumble out frantically. “You were never just my CFO, you were never just my best friend, never just that guy who talked to me at that stupid AEPi party or that guy I had a class with that I had a crush on… you’ve always been _Wardo_. And that’s more—better.” 

If Eduardo was fighting tears before, well… he’s totally lost the battle now. Mark finally looks back up at him and there’s so much love in the look, and a kind of shyness there at the same time and Eduardo is so done for, he was done way back when he first saw Mark in that gen-ed class. 

He fumbles for Mark’s hand beside him and intertwines their fingers together. He doesn’t say what he wants to say, even though it’s running through his head at light speed like one endless, consuming thought ( _IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou… Mark, I love you_ ). Eduardo just tries to tell him with his eyes and gives his hand a squeeze. Mark smiles back and it’s then when Eduardo knows he’s definitely the luckiest guy in the world. 

“Wardo,” Mark says, his tone careful and serious this time. Eduardo turns to look at him, because words that come out like that must have some worry behind them, which can’t be good. 

But Mark is still focused on the soda can, digging his nail into the aluminum side and trying to scratch into it, like he’s purposefully not looking at Eduardo. He clears his throat and then continues, “D’you remember that day with Celia? In New York?” 

He knows what Mark is doing, and he appreciates it. Mark is trying to give him a way out, letting him know that he can talk about it if he wants and that Mark will be there to listen.  
In complete honesty, Eduardo probably hasn’t thought about it that in years, but Mark’s little prompt brings it all surging forward from the depths of his memory, and he smiles because suddenly he can remember every minute little _detail_. 

“Yeah,” Eduardo murmurs, smiling down at Hayden, who is now fast asleep.  
*

It had been the day after they met with Sean Parker. Christy was still pissed at him (because, according to her, he had been completely and utterly embarrassing), so she left early. Eduardo was pissed at Mark for not being able to see through Sean’s particular line of bullshit (grade-A, top-of-the-line bullshit it may have been, but bullshit nonetheless), and Mark was pissed at _Eduardo_ for not thinking Sean was right. So it was all a big mess. 

Eduardo saw Christy off in the morning (he had only gotten a perfunctory kiss on check as she gathered up her bags and headed out), and then banged on the door of Mark’s room rather rudely (he was still a little mad, admittedly), to tell him he was going to pick up Celia and it would be nice if Mark was up and dressed by the time he got back.  
Celia, being four years younger than Eduardo, was a junior in high school at the time, but was spending her spring break with some friends just an hour or two away. They had arranged to spend the day together in the city. He picked her up in Grand Central Station on the dot, and she had come off the train and engulfed him in a huge hug, smelling like feijoada and rich spices and _home_. 

They had chattered incessantly all the way back to the hotel. Eduardo asked about which colleges she was considering and how Mamãe and Pai were. In turn Celia bugged him for details about “the oh-so infamous _Mark_ ” as she called him, emphasizing his name like he something Eduardo never stopped talking about. 

When they returned, Mark had been awake, dressed, and wasn’t even that awkward when Celia threw her arms around him in a hug instead of taking the handshake he had offered (something which Eduardo remembers having to fight really hard not to laugh at). He chatted with Celia for a little while, and then started making some excuses about some coding he had to get done. 

But Celia was always her stubborn self, even at seventeen, and would have none of it. She insisted on getting to know him better and demanded that he accompany her and Eduardo for the day. Mark seemed unsure at first, but Eduardo had shrugged at him good-naturedly over Celia’s shoulder and so Mark caved. 

They did all the touristy things in the city, because that’s what Celia had chosen. They went to Central Park and the Statue of Liberty and Times Square and FAO Schwartz, and in between there was food and laughter and talk and banter and… _fun._ There was no other word for it. 

It was honestly the most fun Eduardo had on the whole New York trip. There was no worry about advertising, no thoughts about Sean Parker, not even any thoughts about Christy as they all spent the day together. They got on famously and all of them enjoyed themselves immensely (even Mark, for all his initial protests, seemed to be happy, not to mention that he seemed to click with Celia. Eduardo even caught them whispering—he was so sure it was about him, oh god—as they all browsed around FAO Schwartz. Mark was even _blushing_ , a sight Eduardo was not sure he’d seen before). 

And so yet again, Celia proved to be the peacemaker, the great equalizer, even if this time she was completely unaware of it. Or so Eduardo thought.  
The two of them took her to the train station the next morning. Mark had given her a hug and she had murmured something to him Eduardo couldn’t make out, but Mark’s reaction was something Eduardo couldn’t quite classify… worry, cautious hope? But Celia just shot him a wink and then turned to Eduardo for a bone-crushing embrace.

He vividly remembers how he had hugged her tightly and thought for what must have been the thousandth time that she was his safety net. “ _Please_ don’t go,” he had pleaded quietly into her dark hair, but she had just given him a little squeeze and a smile as she pulled away. 

“Thanks guys, I had a great time!” she said sincerely, turning back to Mark as she walked backwards to the train. She waved as she stepped onto it, and then pointed at Eduardo, and said with a grin, “ _Você vai ficar bem! Basta ter coragem suficiente para dar a si mesmo o que você quer, por uma vez_!” (You'll be fine! Just be brave enough to give yourself what you want, for once!)

At the time, Eduardo had absolutely no idea what she meant by it, but now it seems to make a lot more sense.  
*

Mark helps him put Hayden to bed and then follows Eduardo back into the bedroom. He flops down onto the bed, completely exhausted, and Mark smiles at him a little and follows, propping himself up on one elbow to watch Eduardo’s face as he begins to talk. 

He takes a deep breath and tries to work up the words. He’s so used to avoiding all trains of thought about his family, and so to think about them in depth for a longer amount of time is a little bit emotionally draining, not to mention talking about him. Eduardo rubs his eyes. 

“So apparently my parents are pissed because they didn’t know about Hayden—or you—and Celia’s bearing the brunt of it, I guess. And I feel bad, you know? Because she always has. Ever since we were little she _always_ got along better with them, my dad especially… He would do anything for her. Especially once I became a junior in high school, I started fooling around with… you know, guys--” he sneaks a look at Mark’s face, which reveals nothing but intense concentration, “—and she was always the peacemaker, the person who would break the tension at the breakfast table or distract him when we were in the middle of a fight.” 

Talking about it brings the memories usually kept at a distance flooding back, and Eduardo’s stomach clenches and cheeks flare at the thought of those fights with his father, and his ears ring with coldly uttered phrases: _bicha_. (fag) But he tightens his fists and continues.

“And she was only in seventh grade, barely a teenager, just a girl still…” he explains, voice cracking with emotion. “But somehow she always had more strength than me. In public anyway; she never broke down in front of him. Though at the same time, she’s just as _fragile_ … I remember hot nights when we were kids back in Brazil; I was maybe seven and she was three... she would crawl into my bed at night and ask why Pai didn’t love us.” He can feel the tears pooling at this point, stinging his eyes, and he’s furious with himself for still letting it all affect him so much, for giving his father the power to cut him to the bone even now. 

“I got out. I couldn’t take him, I went to Harvard and I _tried_ , jesus, I tried as hard as I could to do everything he wanted. It was never enough, but after college, after the dilution and the depositions--” Eduardo finds comfort in the fact that Mark doesn’t even stiffen beside him, they are beyond that awkwardness now, but he still rolls onto his side and glares at the wall. “—I couldn’t go back. I knew I couldn’t go back to that place of _guilt_ and _shame_ … And I still feel guilty that Celia never got the same chance as I did, to leave. She’s still in Miami, she lives about twenty minutes away from my parents’ house and _I_ took it from her, _I’m_ the reason for that and she has every right to be mad at me for it, and it’s _awful_ ,” he finishes, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. 

Eduardo feels too naked and exposed to even feel nervous. He’s too busy being mad at himself for letting himself be swept up in this frenzy of emotion. There’s remorse for what he did, however unintentionally, to Celia, and rage at his father for messing him up so badly, and even annoyance at his mother for never stepping up to change it. His breathing is coming fast now, his heart is pounding, and he can’t look at Mark. 

It’s times like these that make Eduardo think of Jamie and how much he misses her. Even though they hadn’t really worked as a couple, she had always been there to listen, and she _understood_. She helped him learn he was strong enough to stand up to his parents and live his own life, free of constant feelings of inadequacy and shame. But then Mark is there, wrapping himself around Eduardo from behind, squeezing him tightly and settling his head onto Eduardo’s shoulder. And this is good. This is exactly what he needs too. He laughs, a little wetly but gratefully at the gesture and he feels something loosen in his chest. 

“It’s not your fault,” Mark murmurs. “Families suck. Families are screwed up, they have problems, they fuck you up,” he says, and Eduardo nods enthusiastically.  
Mark isn’t done, and he hugs Eduardo harder as he continues, quieter than a whisper: “But they don’t determine who you end up to be… Wardo, your family is totally screwed up, okay? But you—you’re not. You’re kind and caring and patient and forgiving and you _love_ people… You love Hayden _so_ much Wardo, and I’m sure you’re a million times better at being a father than your dad was.”

Eduardo feels something tighten in his throat, and _dammit, he refuses to cry again_. 

“Plus, I mean… you’re with me. And that takes strength.” 

Eduardo scoffs, trying to cut in to let Mark know that he doesn’t see it like that, like an obstacle, no—he considers himself lucky to have Mark every day. But Mark isn’t having any of it and plows on. “Stop it Wardo, I’m serious. I mean, after everything that’s happened… if you were as weak as you think you are, we wouldn’t be here.” 

Which he supposes is true. Eduardo doesn’t consider himself strong in the sense that Celia is; the fierceness about her that lets others know that she won’t let people walk all over her, but he does realize that it takes a different kind of strength to rebuild his relationship with Mark. 

“Besides,” Mark goes on, “Celia’s still young, and she’s independent, and there’s still plenty of time for her to escape if that’s what she wants.” 

And that’s true too. Eduardo hopes that for her already and knew it on some subconscious level, but it’s good to hear from someone else. 

“And you know, the family you grow up with isn’t the only family you ever get. There’s Hayden and I too. And the three of us are making a pretty good family, don’t you think?” Mark asks, his voice just a little more unsteady than usual. Eduardo bites the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning ridiculously, but nods slowly. 

It is finally quiet between them, and he shifts around so that he’s facing Mark. He leans in and presses a kiss to his lips, soft and tender, and murmurs, “thank you,” against Mark’s lips before pulling away. 

“You’re welcome,” Mark replies seriously, and Eduardo beams at him a little sappily, but he can’t help it. He feels infinitely better than he did this afternoon, even than when he did five minutes ago, and it’s all because of Mark. God, he is in this so fucking deep already. 

Mark finally rolls his eyes, though he’s still smiling. “Okay, enough with the feelings now, let’s have sex,” he manages through a yawn, and Eduardo laughs, freer this time.  
“I think we’re both entirely too exhausted for that.”

Mark groans, acting irritated, but Eduardo watches him close his eyes and knows better. “Fine, but you owe me a quickie tomorrow morning.”  
“Deal,” he agrees, chuckling and leaning in to lightly kiss Mark’s nose. 

It’s not much longer before they fall asleep, too exhausted to even get up and change out of their clothes. But it’s all okay because they’re wrapped up in each other, and as Eduardo slips into sleep he feels Mark’s chest rising and falling beside him, Mark’s thumb stroking the skin of his own hip where his shirt has ridden up, and Mark’s warmth radiating from him just inches away.  
*

The next two months, Mark and Eduardo manage to relax into their relationship. They become more comfortable with having a “public image”, and Eduardo hardly notices when the paparazzi are lurking around anymore. However, he does always manage to catch the pictures when they inevitably hit the web the next day. He gets a little bit of an unexplainable thrill to see himself with Mark on a website, holding hands or kissing chastely but happily, to know that everyone else knows that they’re _together_ now, that everyone knows that Mark is _his._

And Mark likes it of course, because he loves it when Eduardo gets possessive. 

But it isn’t just that: they’re getting better at making it work between them, learning how to give and take and really _communicate_ , discovering their own little language along the way. They may have given up the plan to go slow, but they haven’t abandoned the idea of doing it _right_ , though they have adjusted what that means. It’s less about dates out in the evening and about and more about movie nights in, or video game parties with Chris and Dustin. Mark stays over more now too, though Eduardo isn’t really paying attention to how much: he just knows that most of the time, Mark is there and Eduardo is happier. It’s not just because of sex (though the sex is always great), but because when Mark stays the night it means lazy mornings in, or the three of them taking early walks, family breakfasts together, and those are some of his favorite things. 

Then there’s the family issue. In some ways it’s improving. Eduardo is talking to Celia more regularly and is exchanging the occasional email with his mother to keep her up to date about Hayden and how things are going with Mark. There’s still a wall of silence from his father, but he tells himself that’s to be expected. 

On the other hand, Eduardo is becoming more and more nervous as Thanksgiving approaches and they’re getting closer to flying out to Dobb’s Ferry and visiting Mark’s family. He’d met Mark’s parents before, a couple times, and Mark had even dragged him back home with him one long weekend, and they were nothing but nice and friendly and welcoming. Eduardo also met Mark’s older sister Randi once or twice in passing, and she seemed great too, but he still can’t shake the nervousness. It’s the whole “meeting the parents” trope of course, but he’s truly worried they will feel differently about him now, after everything (especially if how his own parents reacted to him dating Mark is any indicator). 

The feeling is still there, even as they’re on the plane. It’s been about half an hour since takeoff, and Eduardo’s anxiety is huge and wobbly and all-consuming in his the pit of his stomach. Not even the fact that Hayden has been wailing since they lifted off the runway is able to make it go away; the worry just mixes with embarrassment and becomes a nauseating mess. 

Eduardo is trying to bounce Hayden up and down in the uncomfortable seat, and all he can think is that he’s glad they paid for three seats on the plane (Mark can pull some strings sometimes), because if anyone was sitting next to him he’d be _very_ annoyed with all the jostling. The last thing they need are more passengers pissed at them, he’s sure the strident sounds of Hayden’s cries are already working on that. Anyway, the bouncing isn’t working, and Hayden’s face is tomato-red from the crying. 

Mark looks at them out of the corner of his eye and smirks over the magazine he’s flipping through. Eduardo turns to glare at him. 

“ _What?_ ” he hisses, leaning in close in hopes of making as little of a scene as possible. 

But Mark just _laughs_. And at first Eduardo feels a little annoyed by that because he’s upset and frustrated and nervous, but at the same time he’s also glad. He knows that he’s also probably worrying about it too much and Mark will be able to put things in perspective. 

“Are you rethinking my private jet suggestion yet?” Mark quips, quirking an eyebrow at Eduardo and rolling up the magazine. 

The corners of Eduardo’s mouth twitch up in a smile almost as a reflex. Because Mark had suggested buying a private plane a couple times since they decided they would go to Dobb’s Ferry for Thanksgiving, and Eduardo had flat out refused. It had just seemed entirely too elitist too him, and besides, there is no way he’s letting Mark buy him _a fucking plane_. 

Now he is definitely reconsidering. 

“Shut up,” he mutters in response, trying to work up some real annoyance and instead just settling for indulgence. 

Mark makes a _gimme_ gesture and Eduardo hands over Hayden. Usually, this would be the magic touch, but then they ascend a little higher and Eduardo can feel his ears pop, and Hayden lets out a shrill and bloody scream. 

The people in the seat behind them clear their throats, and Mark whips his head around to glower at them like a thundercloud. “I can and _will_ figure out who are and add you to the No-Fly list for no greater reason than the fact that you’re _annoying_ me.” 

The man’s eyes pop out and the woman shifts in her seat, looking down. Mark turns back around, looking triumphant and a little dangerous. 

Eduardo gulps and grabs Mark’s hand, caressing his it with his thumb. “Hey,” he murmurs, and Mark turns to look at him. His expression softens just a little bit, but it’s enough. “Maybe we should look into getting a plane.” 

It startles a laugh out of Mark, and he looks back at him with such an affectionate expression that Eduardo’s heart skips a beat. “Okay,” Mark agrees, still laughing softly, and Eduardo laughs too, until they’re both laughing together. The sounds mingle together and then, miraculously, Hayden stops crying and looks up at them, smiling.  
*

Eduardo takes deep breaths, thinks calm thoughts, keeps his tone composed, but none of it has any substantial effect. They’re in a rented car, pulling up in front of Mark’s house when he actually starts trembling. 

He doesn’t want Mark to see, so he hurries around to unbuckle Hayden from his car seat as Mark gathers up their bags and heads up to the front door. Eduardo follows, with a happy, babbling Hayden is his arms, and Mark is fumbling with the suitcases at the door when Eduardo steps onto the porch. 

Mark pauses, and looks at Eduardo, his eyes are bright and shining, and Eduardo can tell he’s _excited_. The knowledge just makes Eduardo even more nervous, and he smiles at Mark unsteadily. Mark, who has always been incredibly observant—but becomes even more so when Eduardo is trying to hide something—looks at him with concern. His gaze travels down to Eduardo’s hand, the one that is not holding Hayden and thus trembling unoccupied at his side. Eduardo exhales unevenly and rolls his eyes at himself, trying to play it off. 

He opens his mouth to speak, but Mark just shakes his head minutely and grabs Eduardo’s hand and tangles their fingers together. “Wardo, c’mon. They’re gonna love you even more than me, I promise.”

Which is completely ridiculous, of course, but manages to elicit a laugh from Eduardo, letting out some of his anxious energy in the process. He meets Mark’s eyes again, and Mark just looks at him earnestly and murmurs, “We can do this.”

It is this that makes Eduardo nod, offer Mark a genuine smile, and look forward as they ring the doorbell. 

It swings open and Mark’s mother appears before them: a short woman with medium length, dark hair peppered with gray. Her face is worn and wrinkled but kind, and she looks just like Eduardo remembers her. Her eyes set on Mark immediately, and she flies forward to embrace him. 

“Sweetie!” she cries, hugging him tightly. Mark must be trying to respond with something snarky, but it comes out muffled and Eduardo bites back a giggle. 

“Oh honey, you feel so _thin_ ,” she bemoans as she pulls back to look him up and down. “Have you been eating enough?” 

Mark rolls his eyes and murmurs, “Yes _Mom_ …”, sounding incredibly put-upon, and Eduardo has to stop himself from full out laughing, because in that split second he couldn’t see the Mark from Harvard in front of him very clearly. It’s totally the same sort of reaction Eduardo would get every time he tried to drag Mark to the dining hall for “ _real food_ … you can’t live on Red Vines and Mountain Dew, Mark!” 

He’s dragged back to present when Mark continues, still trying to convince his mother. “You can believe me, Wardo makes sure I eat and leave the office at the reasonable hour and go outside and--”

Mrs. Zuckerberg’s eyes fly to Eduardo then, and Eduardo’s stomach seizes up in apprehension, but she just looks overjoyed. “Oh, Eduardo!” she exclaims, moving forward to draw him into a hug. Eduardo laughs and hugs back, and she murmurs into his ear, “I was so worried…”

She doesn’t finish the sentence, she doesn’t have to—it still hits Eduardo’s heart with a pang. He knows what she means because he can’t count the nights he felt the same, when he felt sick with the thought that he and Mark might never be able to fix it. 

The sentiment washes away as she pulls back, and she doesn’t seem bothered with it at all anymore, in fact, she is nothing less than completely content with them. “But oh my goodness Eduardo, you’re too skinny as well! It almost _hurts_ to hug the two of you. Good thing I’ll have some time to feed you both up over the holiday…”  
Eduardo can pinpoint the exact moment when she notices Hayden, because her sentence trails off and her face lights up. “Who is _this_?” she asks in an animated voice, holding out her hands to hold him. 

Eduardo can’t help but smile. “Mrs. Zuckerberg--”

“Oh please, you’re family. Call me Sharon.”

He blushes to the tips of his ears as he hands Hayden over, and his smile changes to a flat out grin. “Sharon, this is Hayden. He’s six months old.”

She holds him up with the natural grace of a mother, bouncing up and down as she does so. Hayden’s lower lip wobbles and he looks from her to Mark to Eduardo, who grins reassuringly at him. It doesn’t stop Hayden’s face from crumpling and starting to work up a cry. 

“Oh, oh, what’s wrong?” she coos, bouncing and spinning him around some. “You’re okay, look: Daddy’s right there, I’m not going to hurt you…”

He is thinking of how right it looks, the way she is looking at Hayden like he is the most amazing, astounding, wonderful thing in the world. He knows that it’s just how grandparents look at their grandchildren, he remembers it fondly from when Mr. and Mrs. Valencia would hold Hayden. A sense of melancholy seeps through him as he realizes he hasn’t seen his own mother look at Hayden like this, and he doesn’t know when she will. 

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Zuc— _Sharon_ ,” Eduardo corrects himself forcefully. “I’m sure he’s just grumpy from the flight,” he explains as Mark reaches forward and plucks Hayden from his mother’s arms. Hayden immediately becomes more relaxed, and lays against Mark’s chest and yawns adorably. 

“It’s fine,” she assures him with a smile, not offended in the least. “Besides, you said he’s six months… That’s about when stranger anxiety starts.”

Eduardo nods emphatically as she turns into the house, yelling for the others to come out and greet them. But Eduardo turns to Mark, quirking an eyebrow and wondering if he remembers too, but the humorously baffled expression shows he doesn’t have to ask. “Seriously, who _knows_ this stuff…” Mark mutters under his breath, and Eduardo throws his head back and laughs. 

Family members descend upon them quickly, and soon Eduardo is getting hugged by Mark’s dad Edward, sisters Randi, Donna, and Arielle and respective husbands/boyfriends in quick succession. It’s chaos, but they’re nothing but welcoming and warm and genuinely glad to see Eduardo, and he truly feels for he’s sure what is the thousandth time how incredibly lucky he is. _Not everybody gets this many shots at a family_ , he thinks to himself. 

There’s a moment in the middle of it all when Eduardo is in conversation with Randi, but he looks up and sees Mark, who is smiling so hard his dimples are showing while Donna and Arielle are looking at him in wonderment as makes Hayden giggle. Mark catches his eye, and for a second they just _connect_. He can feel happiness radiate from Mark from across the room, can see it in the way his smile softens almost imperceptibly as he looks at Eduardo. He’s sure that he is giving off the same vibe. Mark’s words from earlier echo in his head, “ _we can do this_ ”… And in that second, there is no doubt in Eduardo’s mind.


	6. Chapter 6

“I’m sorry about them,” Mark says that night, after they’re spent the rest of the evening with his family. 

Eduardo looks at him, confused. “Don’t. Why would you be?”

Because, in his opinion, today has been wonderful.

The Zuckerbergs are open and loud and easy with affection, the exact opposite of everything Eduardo is accustomed to with his own family. They’ve gone out of their way to make him feel welcome, and they’re just so _relaxed_ about everything… Eduardo feels right at home. 

Mark shrugs. “I know it can be a little…” he trails off, as if searching for the right word. “Smothering,” he finally settles on, waving his hand. 

Eduardo laughs as he bounces down on the bed, looking at Mark across the room, who is rooting through their suitcase for his toothbrush. “I don’t mind smothering,” he replies. “At least you got to grow up knowing that… you know… you’re loved unconditionally.” 

He can’t meet Mark’s eyes. Eduardo doesn’t want it to seem like he’s feeling sorry for himself—because he’s _not_ , he couldn’t be happier with his life and he knows that without his family, for all their faults, he wouldn’t be where he is now—but at the same time he wants Mark to appreciate what he has. 

“Wardo,” Mark says, turning around to face him. His eyes are soft and worried, like he just wants to make it better. 

Eduardo just shakes his head and shrugs nonchalantly, and Mark’s eyes narrow, like he thinks Eduardo’s putting on a façade about it. Eduardo rolls his eyes. “ _Seriously_ , Mark, it’s fine. I turned out okay. I just want you to know that your family is _not that bad_.” 

Mark still looks unsure, but seems to decide he’ll accept the answer. “Okay,” he says hesitantly. “I’m going to brush my teeth. I’ll be back,” and ducks out the door. 

Eduardo settles into the bed and watches Hayden sleeping peacefully in the crib on the side of the room that Mr. and Mrs. Zuckerberg brought down from the attic for him. As he looks around, he realizes how haphazard the room looks. They are staying in the office, but it doesn’t really seem like one. There is a desk, with an expensive Mac desktop on it, but the desk itself looks pretty old (though the swivel chair is all ergonomic and seems new). And the bed, which is a double, seems a little too big for the space. He squints a little, and then he realizes, this _is Mark’s old room_. 

They had stayed in here that one weekend Eduardo had come home with Mark. The walls are painted a different color, they’ve replaced Mark’s twin bed with a double, and it’s cleaner, so it makes sense that he didn’t recognize it at first, but now he can see that it’s definitely the same room. The Zuckerbergs have left some framed pictures of Mark and his sisters hanging on the wall and some of his old trophies are scattered about. 

He stands up and walks over to look at the bookcase, peering at the well-worn spines to see the titles. He smiles to himself to find that the top shelf is full of books about do-it-yourself computer programming, the middle shelf is completely Greek and Roman mythology, and the bottom shelf houses only the _Harry Potter_ books and classics Mark probably had to read for school (Eduardo can’t imagine Mark ever picking _Wuthering Heights_ or _Jane Eyre_ to read for pleasure). He feels a little comfort to know that it’s the same place, and as he turns around and looks at the carpet and yes, he can practically visualize the air mattress he slept on that weekend. Then he looks at the crib off to the side, and sees Hayden’s chest rising and falling rhythmically, and feels like they’ve come full circle. 

Mark opens the door quietly and tiptoes in, and Eduardo crosses the room to kiss him. Mark makes a surprised sound into his mouth, but quickly melts into it and for a couple of minutes Eduardo’s world is narrowed down to _this_ : the still lingering mint taste of toothpaste in Mark’s mouth, the slick wetness of his tongue, and the soft drag of Mark’s teeth across his bottom lip as he pulls away. 

Mark is panting a little as he looks at Eduardo, eyes a little puzzled. “What was that for?” he asks. “Not that I’m complaining,” he adds with an impish smile that turns up the corners of his lips. 

Eduardo throws his head back and laughs quietly, trying not to wake Hayden. “This is your old room. Why didn’t you say anything?”

Mark smirks and bites his lip and Eduardo tries not to go red all over. “I knew you’d figure it out,” he answers, whisper-soft, and leans in to kiss him again, light and fleeting and then distances their lips again. “Doesn’t it feel weird though? Like we’ve come so far?” 

Eduardo has to bite down on his grin. “Yeah, it really does.”

They fall into bed together, both beyond exhausted. Mark curls into him and Eduardo kisses his forehead. He feels something tight and warm in his chest, knows what it’s called, and hopes with every bone in his body that he’ll be able to say it out loud soon.  
*  
They wake up to the smell of turkey and pumpkin pie wafting through the house. Eduardo wakes slowly, curled on his side. He rolls over to see that Mark is already awake, sitting up against the headboard, focused on tapping away on his keyboard. He sees that Eduardo is awake and slips off his headphones. “Good morning,” he murmurs, as Eduardo sits up and rests his chin on Mark’s shoulder. “My mom came in early and kidnapped Hayden for,” he makes quotation marks in the air, “ _bonding time_.”

Eduardo chuckles. “If she has it her way, you’ll be knocked out of your spot as his favorite before the day is over.”

Mark’s lips quirk up in a lopsided smile. “Nah,” he sighs, reaching down and threading their fingers together. “We all know who the favorite is,” he says, shooting Eduardo a fond look. Eduardo just blushes, snuggling closer to Mark’s side. 

After they are both showered and dressed, they head downstairs. They wander into the kitchen, where Randi is rearranging the fridge, trying to get all the dishes to fit, and Mark’s mother is whisking together the whipped cream, bouncing Hayden on one hip. “Hello!” she says brightly, turning to face them. 

Hayden, still entranced by the whipped cream, swings his head around a second later, and his face lights up. He points at Eduardo, and squeals, “Day!” 

Eduardo freezes in his tracks. Mrs. Zuckerberg is looking from Hayden and Eduardo with her brow furrowed, like she’s trying to puzzle it out. “Was that--”

“His first word,” Mark finishes, coming up from behind and sounding unbelievably proud. “Hayden’s first word. Daddy.” 

There are a million butterflies flapping around in Eduardo’s stomach as he tries to hold back tears, stepping forward and grabbing Hayden from Mrs. Zuckerberg’s hands. He can hear her cooing, Randi’s excited words, and Mark’s replies, but they all seem very far away as he holds Hayden close, warm and perfect in his arms. He kisses the top of Hayden’s head and whispers into his hair, “ _Eu te amo, querida, eu te amo tanto_ _você_ _nem sei_ …” **(“I love you, sweetheart, I love you so much you don't even know …”)**

He turns around and meets Mark’s eyes. He knows his own are swimming and Mark just can’t stop grinning, and Hayden is saying, “Day! Day!” against his neck because Randi and Mrs. Zuckerberg are laughing elatedly every time, and Eduardo _swears_ it feels like magic. 

The day is so perfect it feels like a dream: he watches as Hayden charms every last member of Mark’s family, he has a heartfelt discussion with Randi as they mash the potatoes, and watches football in the living room with Mark's father and the girls' respective husbands and boyfriends. 

The meal is ready around two. Mr. Zuckerberg leads them all in the blessing, and as everyone opens their eyes Mrs. Zuckerberg turns to him.

"Now Eduardo," she begins, giving him a knowing look. "We have a long-standing tradition where we go around the table and everyone says what they're thankful for."

Eduardo swallows a bite of turkey, and says a little nervously, "Okay."

Donna laughs at his reaction. "It's really not a big deal, Eduardo. We're pretty low-key."

Mr. Zuckerberg nods. "And since you're the newest here, you can go last." He places a reassuring hand on Eduardo's shoulder. "No pressure."

Eduardo laughs again a little more relaxed, but still with an edge of nervousness to it.

So Mr. Zuckerberg starts. Eduardo isn't really paying super-close attention to what everyone else is thankful for because he's too busy worrying what he should say.

And the problem is, he knows what he _wants_ to say. He wants to grab Mark's hand right next to him and use the other hand to hold Hayden even tighter to his chest and say that he's thankful for the two people he loves most in the entire world.

But he just isn't sure he can. He's a little self-conscious about saying it to Mark for the first time in front of his entire family. What if Mark doesn't say it back? What if he's not there yet? What if he just says it back without the meaning behind it, because he doesn't want to embarrass Eduardo?

So he makes a deal with himself. If Mark uses the word "love" referring to Eduardo in _his_ , then Eduardo will say what he wants. And if he doesn't... Well, Eduardo will come up with something.

Then suddenly, it is Mark's turn. Eduardo tries to take a deep death to calm his nerves.

"Well," Mark starts. "Everyone knows that the past couple years have been really rough, and I'm so thankful for everyone who helped me get through them, here or not," he says. There is a hum of appreciation from other people, but Mark isn't finished.

"But mostly, I'm really, really grateful for second chances," he says, fixated on his plate, and Eduardo can almost see Mark blushing. "Because they've brought me some things I never thought I would get to have."

Everyone "aww"s and Mark rolls his eyes with a self-deprecating smile. He turns to Eduardo and simply laces their fingers together, matter-of-fact and content.

It is this that makes Eduardo second guess himself. Yeah, technically there wasn't a "love" there, but Eduardo feels like it was maybe implied. He wavers for a moment before making up his mind, deciding he is too cowardly to do it.

"So, it's been a pretty unreal six months for me," he says, and everyone laughs. He laughs too before continuing, and a little bit of his nervousness fades away.

"But, um... They're also hands-down the best six months of my entire life. So today, just like every other day, I am incredibly thankful for Jamie Valencia, who gave me he best gift in the entire world." The statement is met with sad smiles, and Eduardo doesn't want to end on such a bittersweet note.

"There are so many people who have helped me out on this crazy journey, and I owe them all a huge thank you... Not to mention the most important one of all," he concludes, giving Mark's hand a squeeze.

The entire group "aww"s again, making Eduardo blush. He's thankful when Randi's husband says, "Enough of this mushiness; let's eat!" to which everyone laughs and digs in.

But just after, when everyone else's attention is elsewhere, Mark catches his eye and kicks his foot lightly under the table affectionately, with a sweet smile on his lips. Eduardo bumps their shoulders together and laughs a little in response.

The moment ends when Hayden attempts (and partially succeeds) to clap his hands in Eduardo's sweet potatoes, shrieking happily. Eduardo hastens to put a stop to this while Hayden laughs mischievously, distracting him from Mark momentarily.

He may not have said it in words, but he feels like maybe they said it to each other in other ways today.  
*  
The rest of Thanksgiving is just as perfect. Eduardo’s favorite parts include, but are not limited to:

1) a warm conversation with Mark’s mother -

“I always knew it would end up being you two,” she says, eyes fixed on the dishes she’s washing. 

Eduardo, who is drying them as she passes dishes to him, looks up at her with curious eyes. “How?” he asks, just out of inquisitiveness. Because he’d truly like to know—as much as he’d always hoped, he’d never say he _knew_. 

She smiles softly, still not looking at him. “It was always you,” she says simply. “You were the only one he ever brought home, just that one time in college. Even when he was dating—that Walden guy, for one—we never met them. And Chris and Dustin assured me they were serious, but even though there were a couple holidays while they were dating and we always invited them… Mark never wanted us to meet the others, for some reason. I don’t know. I guess… I guess you always meant more to him even when you were just friends than anyone else ever could.”

Mark walks in at that moment, Hayden balanced on one hip. He moves toward the refrigerator to pull out a bottle for Hayden, who is babbling nonsensically. They both turn to look at him, quiet smiles on their faces. He freezes and looks between them. “What?” he asks, suspicious suddenly. 

Mrs. Zuckerberg turns to look at Eduardo, and they share a smile before both turning back to the task at hand. “Nothing,” she tells him, a hint of laughter in her voice.

2) Hayden’s first foray into solid foods -

“I promise, it’s basically the same as canned baby foods,” Mr. Zuckerberg says as he sits Hayden down on his leg. “It just has a couple more spices and ingredients mixed in.”

“I believe you,” Eduardo says for the millionth time, laughing a little. “It’s totally fine.” And he’s being honest, it is—but it doesn’t stop him from worrying futilely. He’s not even sure _why_ he’s worrying, he knows nothing will go wrong… He can’t even tell if the tension in the pit of his stomach _is_ worry, maybe it’s just a bit of melancholy because Hayden is experiencing another first so soon. Rationally he _knows_ that there are many firsts to look forward to, but the emotional part of his brain can’t help but feel a little sad regardless.

Randi must read all this on his face, because she steps a little closer and nudges him with her shoulder. “I know how you feel,” she says softly, eyes fixed on Hayden while everyone else is distracted by the surrounding chatter and cooing at Hayden. “My dad gave Anna, our oldest, vanilla ice cream as her first solid food at six months,” she explains, rolling her eyes fondly. “But, she turned out as normal as any Zuckerberg child can hope to be.”

Eduardo is startled into a laugh, but sobers up quickly. “It’s _so_ not a big deal, it’s just…”

“I know,” Randi cuts him off. “Listen, it’s okay to worry. And as a parent, it’s an integral part of your job,” she says teasingly. 

Eduardo breathes out and nods, shooting her a grateful smile. Then they both turn back to the scene at hand as Mr. Zuckerberg gets a spoonful of pumpkin pie filling and adds a heavy dollop of whipped cream. He makes airplane noises as he raises it to Hayden’s chin. Hayden shoots him a wary look and then looks inquisitively back at the spoon. He looks out at Eduardo and tilts his head a little, looking confused, and Eduardo nods encouragingly. 

Hayden takes a taste cautiously, seemingly contemplating it. Then his eyes light up and his squeals, bouncing up and down on Mr. Zuckerberg knee, pointing at the slice of pumpkin pie like he wants more. The entire room laughs, and Mr. Zuckerberg winks at Eduardo knowingly, spooning up another bite for Hayden. 

Half an hour later, most of Hayden’s face is covering in orange and he even has pumpkin in his _hair_ , and it’s getting all over Eduardo’s shirt since Hayden has fallen asleep against his chest. He couldn’t care less.

3) And, of course, some sneaking around with Mark -

Later that evening, after Hayden’s in bed and the football game comes on, Mark drags Eduardo out the door. He refuses to tell him where they’re headed, but they end up in the library parking lot. 

“I used to come here all the time,” Mark says in a soft voice. “I taught myself how to code here, and I worked on my Harvard application here… I came here after that time freshman year when I got stuffed in a locker. And I had my first kiss here,” he adds belatedly, a shadow of a smile crossing over his face. 

The unreasonable part of Eduardo, the part of his gut that twists whenever Eduardo thinks of Walden, seizes up a little. He knows it’s silly, but he just hates the thought of anyone else with Mark, as stupid as that is. But he waits for Mark to continue. 

His eyes are fixed on his hands in his lap as he bites his lip before pushing on. “It was this guy, his name was Brendon… he worked at the information desk. He was a year older than me, and one day we were just like, hanging out and talking back in the stacks—the geography section, I think—and then he just, kind of, pushed me up against the bookshelf and kissed me.” Mark’s smile fades. “And then the next day he acted like he didn’t even know who I was.”

Eduardo breathes out. He doesn’t know what to say, or how to make it better, and that sucks. 

But he’s learning with Mark that sometimes you don’t need to fix everything. Sometimes just _being there_ is enough. 

“Hey,” Eduardo says after a few moments, putting a reassuring hand on Mark’s shoulder. Mark turns to look at him, meeting his eyes. “Thanks for bringing me here,” he says softly, sincerely. 

Mark smiles back at him, and then unlocks his seatbelt to crowd into Eduardo’s space, kissing him surely. He pulls back when they both are panting, and then sinks down, cramping himself onto the floor. Eduardo sputters, “ _Mark_ \--”

Mark shoots him a smirk. “Are you gonna keep lookout or not?” 

That shuts him up, and he lets out a whoosh of breath as Mark unzips his pants. “Thought so,” Mark teases, and Eduardo laughs.

Eduardo feels sad when it’s time for them to leave. After being hugged tight by all the members of Mark’s family, they head to the airport. Eduardo can sense on the drive there that Mark is feeling a little sad to leave, as much as he tries to hide it. 

He perks up when they arrive at the airport for some reason, and once they make it past security Eduardo turns to Mark. “Hey, where are the tickets?”

Mark doesn’t meet his eyes. “I’ve got them,” he assures Eduardo. It seems a little odd but Eduardo doesn’t question it. 

Mark leads the way through the airport as they pass gate after gate, all the way to the back of the airport. There’s no one back there, and Eduardo narrows his eyes at Mark as he continues, unhesitant. “Mark?” Eduardo says for what feels like the thousandth time, adjusting Hayden on his hip. “Are you gonna tell me what’s going on?” 

In response, Mark whirls around to face Eduardo, grinning a little nervously. “So, um. I really, _really_ hope you weren’t kidding about the private plane thing.” 

Eduardo freezes, and then he starts laughing so hard that tears are streaming down his face. Mark is laughing with him, and they look like such idiots, giggling at an empty gate in an airport, with a _private plane_ waiting for them outside. 

There aren’t any words, Eduardo just curls his hand around Mark's waist, pulling him in and kissing him breathless for a moment. He feels so, _so_ incredibly lucky that he doesn't even know how to handle it.

When they pull away, _I love you_ is on his tongue, in his heart, and filling his head as he looks upon Mark's easy smile. He opens his mouth to say it, before he's cut off by his son.

"Mar!" Hayden exclaims, smiling widely and reaching out to clutch at Mark's hoodie. Mark gasps, jaw agape, and drops all the bags he's holding onto the floor, taking Hayden from Eduardo’s arms with a look of wonder.

Hayden giggles as Mark clings to him, happy as ever. "Wardo, he said my _name_ ," Mark keeps repeating over and over, rocking Hayden side to side and rubbing his back.

"I know," Eduardo continues to answer, voice thick with trying to fight off tears of happiness. "Of course he did, Mark."

Mark switches Hayden to his other hip, pulling back somewhat so that Hayden's face isn't tucked into Marks neck and he can look at him. He points to himself, with an adoring smile at Hayden. "What's my name?"

" _Mar_!" Hayden says again, pointing back, looking beyond pleased with himself and amused by Mark’s amazement. Mark is choked up now too.

Eduardo laughs wetly as he watches the two of them interact, bending down to gather the bags Mark dropped. As he stands back up, he reaches for Mark's free hand and knots their fingers together. "C'mon," he says, pulling Mark and Hayden toward the gate with a grin that refuses to leave. They follow, leaving a chorus of Hayden's repeated, "Mar, Mar!" in their wake.

*

The flight back feels much shorter. Hayden only cries during the takeoff and landing this time, though Eduardo is still very thankful for the private plane. The peace of mind that Hayden’s squirming and babbling aren’t annoying anyone override the niggling worry at the back of his mind about things like their carbon footprint and the cost and how this will affect Mark’s image. 

 

Mark holds Hayden the whole flight back, playing with him and talking at trying to get Hayden to say his name again at every opportunity. It’s adorable to watch, and it makes his heart swell to see how thrilled Mark is by it. 

 

However, by the time they’re back in Palo Alto, they’re all exhausted by the traveling and just the trip in general. Hayden is out like a light as soon as they as get out of the airport, all dead weight in Mark’s arms, but Eduardo still has practically pry him out of Mark’s grip to put him in the car seat. 

 

They enter the house like zombies, dropping all the luggage right in the entryway without even bothering with the premise of putting it away, and trooping upstairs. Hayden doesn’t even stir as Eduardo changes him into pajamas and eases him down into the crib, and then stumbles toward the master bedroom, shedding shoes and socks along the way. He strips down to his boxers and an undershirt in the bedroom, leaving all his clothes where they fall without folding them (something that would usually drive him insane). Mark is already under the covers, curled up on his side of the bed and softly snoring. 

 

Even though he’s half awake, the sight still makes him smile as he sneaks under the blankets too. He presses a soft kiss to the back of Mark’s neck as he wraps himself around him, and falls asleep the second his head hits the pillow. 

 

Hayden is up at 2 am, the lights of the baby monitor jolting up with each scream. The time difference must have messed with him, for sure. 

 

Eduardo groans and throws his hands over his eyes. He has a meeting with an important client first thing tomorrow morning, and he wants to look professional, put-together… and being up all night with Hayden is not going to help that. 

 

But, he feels the weight of the bed shift. “I’ve got him,” Mark murmurs groggily as he heads around the bed to the door. 

 

Eduardo _hmm_ s appreciatively and grabs Mark’s hand on his way out. “Thanks,” he says simply, giving it a quick squeeze and then rolls back over on the bed. Mark chuckles a little as he leaves. 

 

It doesn’t take much for Eduardo to start falling asleep again. He can still hear Hayden over the baby monitor (Mark usually remembers to turn it off, but he didn’t tonight), though now the soft noises have become just tiny whimpers interspersed with coos and gurgling. Mark must be half asleep in there, because he’s only muttering back in response, quiet “uh huh”s and “mmm, yep”. After half an hour, Hayden’s sounds are getting farther and farther apart, and soon all that can be heard over the monitor is his heavy breathing, and Eduardo is just about back to sleep too. 

 

Then Mark whispers, “Hayden, did I ever tell you the story of when I fell in love with your daddy?” 

 

Eduardo suddenly is _very_ awake. He feels like every fiber in his body is on alert, waiting for Mark to continue speaking. 

 

Because Mark has told Hayden countless bedtime stories, all of them based in real life. He once said in his defense, “Eduardo, real life can be just as exciting as those storybooks.” Which, okay. Eduardo really liked that.

 

But there’s never been one about Mark. 

 

It’s always been _how Facebook was founded_ or _when your daddy fed chicken to a chicken_ or _your daddy wore the worst straw hat on the face of the earth._ And Eduardo will smile at Mark with a little bit of a twinkle in his eye, and Mark will pretend not to notice and continue, but the corners of his lips will start to tug up. 

 

And. 

 

_And._

 

They’ve never said it before. 

 

So Eduardo is definitely listening. 

 

It sounds like Mark laughs a little before he continues. “Actually, there were two times. The first time was at Harvard. Facebook was about to go live, and I was showing him the relationship status. And he said, _That looks_ really _good._ And his voice was just… like… warmth. I always wanted to hear him like that. So, I showed him the masthead, and he said, _You have no idea what that’s gonna mean to my father_ and I said _Sure I do…_ And I looked up at him and I just knew. I knew.” Mark’s voice cracks a little the second time, and then he chuckles, like it’s a good memory. “I actually remember thinking, _So this is what love feels like._ ” 

 

Eduardo tries to stifle his smile into the pillow. His eyes are open now, he’s not even trying to _pretend_ to sleep. Instead he stares at the baby monitor and tries to imagine what Mark’s face is like right now. 

 

At this point Mark sounds more like he’s talking more for his own benefit than to put Hayden to sleep now, but he continues anyway.

 

“The second time wasn’t even that long ago. It was shortly after you were born. You were three months old, and _so_ small. And now look at you, you’ve gotten so big in such a short amount of time. And anyway, you had an ear infection. The first time in your whole life you’d gotten sick. And your daddy was so worried about you. He is so _ridiculous_ sometimes. He was sleeping _against the side of your crib_ because he wanted to be right there if you needed him. Can you believe that, Hayden? So I dragged him up to bed, and then I came back and slept in the rocking chair. Even though he was asleep. Just so he wouldn’t worry, and if something happened to you I would be there. And then I was thinking about it. About how it _wasn’t_ ridiculous at all, actually. It was really sweet, I think.”

 

Mark sounds thoughtful now, like he’s remembering. Eduardo is too. He’s thinking about the soft look in Mark’s eyes when he looked down on him, half-awake and all scrunched up against the crib. 

 

But Mark interrupts his memories. “And I knew how much he loved _you_ , and then. That was when I realized how much I love him, I think. It was like… It was like I never _stopped_ loving him, all those feelings were just, like, _dormant_ or something. And I mean. There was a lot of distance between the two points. But that’s okay, right? Because it was distance worth traveling.” 

 

Eduardo’s eyes are all welled up with tears. And in this moment, he doesn’t care about his morning meeting, he doesn’t care about the new client, he doesn’t care if he has to come in with dark circles under his eyes, he wouldn’t even care if he came in _with a hickey_ sucked into his neck. Right now, he only cares about Mark. 

 

So he creeps out of bed and pads down the hall quietly so Mark doesn’t hear him. 

 

When he stands in the doorway, Mark has already put Hayden down into the crib, and is just looking down at him, worn-out but tenderly. He looks up and sees Eduardo standing there. Eduardo can only smile. 

 

“Wardo,” he says, a little bit disappointed. “You have a meeting tomor— _mph!_ ” 

 

The words are swallowed up because Eduardo is crashing into Mark full force. The energy behind it knocks Mark backward a couple of steps, but Eduardo just puts his hands on Mark’s hips to steady them both, and then uses them to pull him hopelessly closer. He kisses him until he is breathless and he cannot think straight and his heart is pounding in his chest. 

 

And then he pulls away, just a couple of inches, and they are both a little awestruck. Eduardo lightly touches his fingers to Mark’s cheek and stares into his eyes so deep he might drown. He can help but think about how impossibly _blue_ and _beautiful_ Mark’s eyes are. 

 

“Did you mean it?” he says, still gasping a little. “What you said, did you mean it?”

 

“What?” Mark replies, looking just a little confused. “Wardo, of course. I do—I’ve always. I love you.” 

 

Eduardo tries to exhale but it comes out shaky, and he surges back in and kisses Mark again. Because he can’t _not._

 

He unlocks their lips almost as quickly, because he wants to say it back so much. “Mark, I love you too. I love you so--” he kisses Mark’s forehead “—fucking--” he kisses Mark’s nose “—much,” and punctuates it with a quick sweet kiss to Mark’s lips and wraps his arms around him. “I always have, I always have, _I always have…_ ” and Mark makes sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob before they are connected again. 

 

Soon Eduardo is leading them back to the bedroom and they are tumbling down onto the bed, with all their limbs still tangled and their tongues twisting together. Mark reaches up to cup Eduardo’s face, and Eduardo makes a soft, needy sound. He impatiently woks Mark’s shirt off to spread his cool fingertips across Mark’s stomach, and Mark emits a gasp. He follows his fingers with his lips, trailing kisses down Mark’s torso and slipping his fingertips under the waistband of Mark’s boxers. 

 

Mark makes an insistent sound and tugs Eduardo back up and meets their lips. Then he murmurs between them, “You have a meeting tomorrow, Wardo.” 

 

Eduardo laughs a little bit and the sound comes out like he still hasn’t quite caught his breath. He continues his path down Mark’s body, murmuring “I don’t care, _I don’t care_ …” in-between kisses, “This is more important.” He kisses Mark’s navel, “God, _so_ much more important,” he breathes as teeth scrape lightly against Mark’s bony hip. Mark makes a sound like surrender, and Eduardo feels victorious. 

 

He pulls down Mark’s boxers and grabs for the lube in the bedside table drawer in one swift motion, slicking up his fingers and opening Mark up agonizingly slowly until he is desperate for it. Eduardo loves to see him like this because he’s the only one who knows _this_ side of Mark: spread out and shaking, completely unaware of anything but sensation, his usual self-awareness far, far away. Mark moans shamelessly as Eduardo inserts a third finger. The feeling makes Mark toss his head to the side and then lets out a puff of breath. 

 

“Wardo. Come _on_ ,” he slurs, like he can’t even speak coherently because he wants it so badly. 

 

And _that_ , Eduardo thinks, will never stop being one of his favorite things. He tries for a smirk but instead it comes out more like a blatant grin, he’s sure.

 

So he presses a quick kiss to the inside of Mark’s thigh to ease the emptiness as he pulls out his fingers, and then rolls the condom on, trying to hurry because Mark looks impatient. Which should be annoying, but is just extremely endearing if you ask Eduardo. 

 

He presses into Mark slowly, and Mark whimpers at the feeling. Eduardo takes it slow, tries to give Mark some time to adjust, but Mark just whines a little helplessly and then gets out through gritted teeth, “Wardo, _move._ Please.”

 

Eduardo laughs a little. He knows he has never been good at denying Mark what he wants, and this is no exception. So he moves in shallow thrusts, and Mark clenches hot and tight and perfect around him and Eduardo doesn’t understand how it can be this _right_ , every line of their bodies pressed together and his heart pounding so loud Mark must be able to hear it. Mark shivers as Eduardo runs his hands across every inch of skin he can reach, and Eduardo has to connect their mouths again, kissing Mark eagerly. 

 

“Wardo, _Wardo_ ,” Mark murmurs against his lips, and it could be a litany, a prayer, a reminder, but the way he _says_ it, the way he draws out Eduardo’s name like it’s the only thing that matters is something that Eduardo will never stop wanting. 

 

He moves his hand and then he’s stroking Mark too. Mark looks like he’s so close to the edge he’s unaware of anything else: his eyes are squeezed shut and he lets out a bit of a sob as Eduardo thrusts a little harder, but Mark matches him on every drive. 

 

“I love you,” Eduardo says again as their breaths mingle together, a vehement declaration. They’ve only just started saying it, and he’s still not completely used to the way it feels coming out of his mouth, not to mention the way it makes him _feel_ ; an absolute whole, like a puzzle piece that’s found its mate or a harmony that’s finally stumbled upon the perfect melody to match. His heart is full to burst and his entire body tingles with the newness of it. And in that moment he knows that they have always been heading toward _this,_ something he is somehow lucky enough to have for keeps, _forever._

 

Those three words are all it takes for Mark, he’s coming hard and fast and he cries out as it happens. Eduardo watches him for a second, thinking about how _damn beautiful_ he is, and then he pushes their lips together to kiss Mark through it and he’s coming too, he feels it in every nerve ending and it’s golden; there’s no other way to describe it. 

 

He buries his face into Mark’s neck, breathing heavily as Mark whispers, “I love you too, Wardo,” and Eduardo smiles hopelessly against his skin.  
*  
Of course, because everything was going so well, something was bound to go wrong. 

 

Eduardo is just hanging out at the Facebook offices one afternoon. He’d actually been on his way to go for lunch with Mark, since he’d had to go in early to work on the update that morning, but Chris had caught him in the lobby before he made it to Mark’s office. 

 

“Dude, what are you doing here?” he asks, giving Eduardo an indulgent look. “You _just_ saw him this morning!”

 

Eduardo laughs, falling into step with Chris on the way upstairs. “I know, but he had to leave earlier than usual today so I thought I’d come for lunch.”

 

“God, so codependent,” Chris teases with a chuckle, shaking his head as he does so. Eduardo laughs along with him. “The two of you can’t stay away from each other; it’s a good thing you live together.”

 

Eduardo stops in his tracks, floored, eyes wide. “What?”

 

Chris turns around and looks at him, a little puzzled. “I said it’s a good thing you live together.”

 

Eduardo makes a conscious effort to school his face into a normal expression, and he hopes that Chris doesn’t catch how tenuous his smile is. “Right, right,” he says, and clears his throat, looking down. 

 

But Chris is perceptive, leveling him with a concerned look. “Are you okay?”

 

He honestly has no idea; it’s just such a shock to hear those words. He nods, trying to reassure Chris. “Um, yeah, I, I… I just forgot something, er—out in the car, let me just duck out and get it.”

 

Chris shrugs and nods, but Eduardo can still see a hint of disbelief in his eyes. “Sure,” he drawls, starting to head off. He looks back over his shoulder and calls, “Let me know when you want me to draft that press release, by the way.” 

 

Eduardo makes a noncommittal sound and hightails it out of the offices so he can just breathe. He heads to his car on autopilot, still breathing heavily. He just needs to sit down. He just needs to _breathe_ , just for a second, because this feels like too much.

 

He reaches his car, opening the door and scrambling in as fast as possible before leaning back in the seat and exhaling shakily, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes.

 

Even after five minutes, he still doesn't feel collected. He feels like he's jumping inside, unable to calm himself. He needs time, he can't do _anything_ like this, much less spend time with Mark like he was planning.

 

He glances hesitantly at his watch, a plan forming in the back of his mind. He gets an hour for lunch, he can just... He can just pop home and see. He can prove to himself that it isn't true. Because it's _not_ : Eduardo is always, absolutely in control of all his relationships, especially those in his personal life. He and Mark can't be living together without him _noticing_.

 

Eduardo sends Aubrey a quick text checking up on Hayden. She replies almost immediately to say that they're at the park, and then he nods. That’s the final straw, his mind is made up; he's going to see this for himself.

 

As he unlocks the door to the house and enters, he tiptoes in a little stealthily even though he knows that there isn't anyone there. It feels a little ridiculous, but somehow in his head it makes sense. He wants to be able to see this as an outsider, with an objective eye, and make an unbiased judgment. He can do this.

 

The evidence he finds is not looking good on the whole _being in control_ front, and isn’t doing anything to maintain his pride either. In the fridge, there are beers that Eduardo did not buy and a single can of Red Bull, though he distinctly remembers his vehement protestations that it would _never_ be allowed in his house. There's an entire set of _Star Wars_ DVDs in the living room that aren't his, and then upstairs there's two toothbrushes on the side of the sink, two separate towels, an unmade side of the bed.

 

All of this he can rationalize. It's convenience, that's what it is. Mark shouldn't have to run home every time he needs something, that's just ridiculous. He should definitely have some stuff here. That makes sense.

 

Eduardo is forced out of this state of denial when he goes into the laundry room. The dryer's just shut off, so he opens the door and pulls out some items at random and _there_ —there’s Mark's hoodie tangled up with Eduardo's raggedy sweatpants and Hayden's bib. Something tugs at his heart strings there and he doesn't know what to do, how to handle this feeling, because how... How did he miss something this _big_ , so monumental, such a huge life change?

 

He's still curious about the clothes so he troops back up to their bedroom, throwing open the drawers on the chest that Eduardo doesn't use and the doors to spare closet, only to find that they're all full of Mark's things. Well-worn hoodies and jeans mixed in with formal suits Eduardo's never even _seen_ Mark in, and he just stands there gaping in front of all of it before he finally let's it hit him.

 

Yep, Mark is definitely living there. Chris was right and Eduardo is such an idiot.

 

The worst part is, it completely throws off his game. He goes back to work and can't concentrate on _anything_ , so he goes home again and gives Aubrey the afternoon off. He and Hayden spend time in the nursery, reading and napping and playing and talking together. It makes him breathe a little looser, because things with Hayden are always blessedly _simple_.

 

He hears Mark open the door and call through the house. "Up here!" Eduardo calls, and then within a couple seconds Mark is there, standing in the doorway, with a slightly confused expression.

 

"How long have you been home?" he asks, stepping into the room and sitting in the rocking chair.

 

Eduardo shrugs. "A while," he concedes, not meeting Mark's eyes.

 

"Bad day, huh?" he asks, and Eduardo snorts. Mark has gotten _so good_ at reading him. "Is it something I can help with?"

 

Eduardo doesn't say anything for a minute. Because Mark kind of _could_ , maybe. But…

 

Yeah, Eduardo has changed and they've both grown since college, but Eduardo still can't read Mark to save his life. He doesn't want to be _wrong_ about this, to make a bigger deal of it than it actually is—or worse, find out that Mark doesn't want to be living here and Eduardo somehow unconsciously tricked Mark into this. Maybe Mark is just here because he thinks Eduardo wants him to be. Maybe it's just because of Hayden. Maybe, maybe, _maybe_...

 

So, obviously, Eduardo feels like a nervous wreck, a crazy person, and he definitely shouldn't unleash all _that_ onto Mark. He'll just take a little time to process everything, and then when he's back to normal he'll tell Mark and it'll be like, _"Hey, funny story..."_

 

Yeah, that's what he'll do. He'll just wait. This will blow over.

 

So he shakes his head. "It'll be fine," he replies, finally meeting Mark's eyes and giving him a small smile. Mark seems to relax a little at that, but still not completely. Eduardo tugs on Mark's pant leg to urge him down on the floor with them. Mark laughs a little and goes, saying hello to Hayden and putting Eduardo's mind at ease, if only for a moment.  
*  
Eduardo finds himself observing his life much more than usual the next couple days, in the lingering panic surrounding whether or not he and Mark are living together. 

 

More often than not, when there’s a worry niggling in the back of Eduardo’s mind about it, he mentally takes a step back and watches how things unfold with a fresh eye. And every single time, things are _fine_ : he and Mark may bicker every once in a while like any other couple, but they also make up and go out of their way to be good to each other. 

 

When the interactions involve Hayden, things are even clearer. Mark clearly loves Hayden fiercely, and Hayden _adores_ Mark… Together the three of them are doing fine— _better_ than fine, in Eduardo’s mind—they’re doing fantastic. 

 

But sometimes he still worries that they’ve done this all wrong, too fast, and he has to surreptitiously lock himself in the bathroom and remember to _breathe_. 

 

These episodes don’t happen often, but Eduardo is experiencing one of these mini-panic attacks lying in bed one night about a week later, when Mark is working late and Eduardo doesn’t have to worry about freaking him out with it. His breath is coming fast, his heart racing, and he can feel himself sweating and everything feels just _wrong_ and he doesn’t know how to _fix this_ , doesn’t even know if he can. 

 

Eduardo doesn't remember falling asleep, but after what seemed like no time at all, he is stirring. He hears someone stumble in and curse under their breath, and having just woken up it takes him a minute to realize it's Mark.

 

Eduardo turns and looks at the digital clock on his bedside table, reading 3:00. Facebook had an update scheduled to roll out sometime this week, and early mornings have seemed to become the new norm for Mark in terms of when he heads to bed lately. But this is the first night he's come back here after staying that late at the office—in the past he’s just opted to work on the couch downstairs instead—and it makes Eduardo's breath quicken a little at the implication.

 

Mark shucks his pants, pulling up the covers and crawling into bed in his boxers and oversized t-shirt. He wraps himself around Eduardo and exhales a little bit, sounding utterly at home, and Eduardo's heart feels full to burst.

 

"You're here," Eduardo sighs quietly as Mark presses a kiss to the back of his neck, soft with drowsiness.

 

He can feel Mark pull back a little at the comment, and Eduardo can imagine the adorable look of confusion on his face. He feels Mark shrug and then hears him yawn.

 

"Of course, Wardo," he says, sounding only half awake. "Where else would I be?"

 

Eduardo can't suppress his responding smile, and he’s glad Mark can't see it as he revels in the multiple answers Mark did not give. Because there _are_ other places he could be. He didn’t go back to his apartment, even though it's closer to Facebook headquarters, he didn't catch a ride with Chris or Dustin, he didn't zonk out on the couch in his office or on his desk. Instead, he just said, "Where else would I be?", as if those other places did not exist.

 

How is it possible that Mark gave him the answer he was looking for all along without even trying? Without even giving it a second thought? It came to him like instinct, the words just falling from his lips without even knowing how much Eduardo needed to hear them.

 

He draws Mark's arms tighter around himself and cranes his neck awkwardly to plant a kiss on Mark's cheek. He doesn't have to wait long to hear Mark's quiet, exhausted snores. He uses this opportunity to say, "Thank you," voice thick with emotion, his whispered confession kept secret in the dark.

 

This is when Eduardo finally learns to stop worrying, and tells himself that _this_ is _more_ than enough. His pulse evens out again, he drifts into sleep with the feelings of _just right_ and _home_ echoing in his thoughts.  
*  
But things have never been that easy for them, so why would it be that easy now?

 

Just as Eduardo starts to get back into the swing of it between them, things start to go wrong.

 

At the beginning, it's actually not a big deal. The update goes live and there's lots of glitches in it, so Mark is a shade crankier and more tired than usual (because being the perfectionist that he is, he can't stop until things like that are fixed). And Eduardo understands; they both love their jobs and take them very seriously, so he just tries to be as easygoing, patient, and supportive as possible until the glitches are fixed. Which they are, soon enough.

 

But then, early one morning while it's still dark out, Mark's cell phone starts ringing from the bedside while Eduardo is sleeping wrapped around Mark. Mark sleeps like the dead, so it is of course Eduardo who wakes groggily, reaching around to grab the phone and answer it, gently shaking Mark at the same time.

 

"Hello?" he says sleepily, a little slurred, while Mark makes an uncooperative sound beside him.

 

Next thing he knows his ears are being assaulted, Dustin screeching at high volume about the site being attacked and that they need Mark to come in _absolutely right now_.

 

Eduardo ends up hanging up on Dustin, who is at this point no better than a screeching monkey for all Eduardo can understand of his ranting. "Mark," he says, rubbing a hand over his own face as he tries to wake up a little more. Mark makes a sound that is part growl, part whine, and part Eduardo's name.

 

Eduardo interprets this to mean that Mark is starting to wake, but not particularly happy about it.

 

"Mark," he repeats, more insistently this time, as Mark nuzzles his face further into the crook of Eduardo neck. "Mark, Facebook's been attacked."

 

At that, Mark's eyes fly open and he sits right up. "Attacked? Did Dustin call?" He scrambles to put clothes on and get out of bed as he makes Eduardo repeat back all the details he can remember from Dustin's phone call.

 

Mark makes a grab for the nearest laptop to assess the problem, and Eduardo sighs, completely abandoning the hope that he'd be getting back to bed in the immediate future. "C'mon, then, lets let's to downstairs," he suggests, nudging Mark—who has eyes only for Facebook at this point—from where he's sitting in the edge of their bed and towards the door.

 

Mark goes wordlessly, and then situates himself at the kitchen table, tapping away with a small frown in his face while Eduardo makes him coffee to take with him. By the time it's ready, Mark is packing up his laptop and grabbing his car keys, looking fairly panicked at the whole situation.

 

"Hey," Eduardo says softly, reaching out to still Mark's frantic movements. It works like a charm, and Mark looks at him as he reaches out to take the travel mug. Eduardo can see some of the worry lines smooth out on his face as he looks at Mark, and leans in to give him a quick kiss. "Everything's going to be fine," he assures him as he pulls away.

 

Mark ducks his head and looks down, and giving the tie on Eduardo's robe a little tug as he does so. Eduardo knows that somehow, this is Mark's way of saying _thank you_. When Mark looks back up at Eduardo he's smiling. "See you tonight," he replies, reaching up on his toes to give Eduardo a peck before heading out the door.

 

Eduardo stands by the window and watches him pull away before yawning and heading back upstairs.  
*  
Things continue on as normal, with the exception of Mark’s presence. Hayden looks around curiously when Eduardo changes him in the morning, putting his arms out to the side and asking curiously, "Mar?". Eduardo can only smile at him. "He's at work, Hayden," he tries, but Hayden just keeps chanting, "Mar, Mar, _Mar_!" determinedly for at least ten minutes.

 

The office is the same, though admittedly Eduardo feels only half-awake through the whole day from the morning's early start, and it takes a toll on his productivity. He slogs through about half the work he'd planned to get through before finally heading home to Hayden.

 

Mark does not come home for dinner, though Eduardo hadn't really expected him to. He and Hayden eat alone, he puts Hayden to bed on his own, and then heads back downstairs to wait up for Mark.

 

Eduardo's not sure exactly when he fell asleep, but when he wakes up he feels as if he slept a year. He squints in at the oven clock in the kitchen to see that it's one in the morning. He sits up quickly, feeling surprised. He had thought Mark would be home by now.

 

So he picks up the phone and scrolls down to Mark's name in his contacts. It goes to voicemail after ringing at least ten times, but Eduardo just sighs with a hint of exasperation before trying again. This time it picks up on the fifth ring.

 

"What," Mark answers the call, clipped and obviously distracted. It throws Eduardo off guard.

 

"Mark, it's me," he replies, trying not to let the surprise (and maybe a little bit of irrational hurt) bleed through in his voice.

 

"Oh, Wardo," Mark says, voice softening a little, which lets Eduardo know Mark probably hadn't actually _looked_ at the caller ID, and the thought makes an indulgent smile tug at the corners of his mouth.

 

"Hey... Are you coming home soon?" he asks, rubbing at his eyes and stifling a yawn.

 

Mark is silent for about 45 seconds, and Eduardo _knows_ then that Mark is dividing his attention between the phone call and code, just as he’s seen him do before. "Um, no. I think... I, I think I'm gonna have to sleep here tonight," he responds finally. Something in his voice still sounds weird, just a little off somehow.

 

Eduardo had figured that Mark wouldn’t be coming home at this point, but makes a disappointed sound before speaking anyway. "Alright," he allows finally. "I'll be lonely without you though," he adds teasingly, though there is some truth there too.

 

When Mark replies, something in his voice still sounds stilted, a little choked. Eduardo can't figure out why, but he knows he doesn't like it. "You'll be fine, Wardo," he says a little reassuringly. "I just need to get this thing fixed."

 

Eduardo conceals his sigh. "Okay. Well, I love you," he finishes.

 

Mark takes a minute to respond again, and it's making Eduardo feel self conscious. At last Mark says, "Love you, goodnight," in a very quiet, rushed voice, and hangs up.

 

Normally Eduardo would puzzle over how weird Mark's being, but right now he's just too exhausted to care. He goes to bed, but not without sending out one last text, curled up on his side with his head on the pillows, phone clutched a little tighter than usual in his grasp: _the bed feels too big without you in it._

 

Mark texts back immediately. _i miss you too_ , he replies, and Eduardo falls asleep with a smile on his face.  
*  
And then Eduardo doesn’t hear from him. Mark doesn’t come home or answer any of his calls or texts, and Eduardo is kind of freaking out, because it’s been _three days_ without so much as a word from Mark since that phone call. The more and more Eduardo thinks about that conversation, the more he thinks about how _weird_ it was, how odd Mark sounded, and he can’t help thinking if he did something wrong. 

 

Because it’s been three days since he last heard from Mark, Eduardo uses another weapon at his disposal—Dustin. 

 

Dustin answers on the first ring. “Yep,” Dustin answers, and Eduardo can hear the clicking of keys in the background, which means Dustin is still at the office. 

 

“Dustin, it’s me,” he says. 

 

There is a pause, and the tapping of the keyboard in the background slows and stops. “Eduardo,” Dustin drawls, sounding uncertain. 

 

“Yeah, listen—what the fuck is going on? I haven’t seen Mark since Sunday morning, and the last time I talked to him was Sunday night and he sounded really weird and just… I don’t know what to do,” he manages, running a hand haphazardly through his hair, messing it up. He’s at the office so that probably wasn’t the smartest move, but right now, he couldn’t care less. 

 

Dustin sounds hesitant as he starts to answer. “Well, we _have had_ problems at Facebook, and Mark’s been working really hard,” he begins. “But… it’s not my place to say, I don’t want to get in the middle of this between you two…”

 

Eduardo immediately sees red at that, because _no_ , there’s nothing to be in the middle of, they’re not fighting, _they can’t be_ —it’s impossible to be in a fight if one of them doesn’t even know there’s a fight going on. “Just, did I do something?”

 

He is met with silence before Dustin replies, a little kinder and a little surer, “I think this is something Mark needs to work through on his own. It doesn’t have anything to do with you—well, it does in a way, but—there’s nothing you can do to help.”

 

Eduardo makes a frustrated noise because _great_ , they’re in a one-sided fight and apparently there’s nothing he can even do about it. 

 

“Listen, I promise, this is all gonna blow over… Mark will come to his senses and it will be like it never happened. It’s not even a big deal. Everything’s gonna be fine, just give Mark a little time and a little space and he’ll come around.” 

 

He appreciates what Dustin’s trying to do, really, he does, but it’s all so _easy_ for him to say when he’s not in Eduardo’s position. He sighs a little, trying to ease his anger. “Right, thanks Dustin,” he says, hanging up, trying not to sound snappish. 

 

He puts down the phone and leans his elbows on his desk, putting his head in his hands and exhaling, trying not to worry and believe what Dustin said. 

*

 

On Friday, things still haven’t changed, and there’s no sign of progress on the horizon. At this point Eduardo's voicemails have covered a range of emotion. When they began, they were uncertain, then shifted to worried, eventually morphing to annoyed and then to angry.

 

But now it's been two days since talking to Dustin and Eduardo hasn't heard a _word_ from Mark, only has that last weird phone call and Dustin's advice to go off of. So now, more than anything, his messages are sad and a little resigned. He's kind of just talking at Mark's voicemail as if he were there to listen, giving him updates on Hayden and work and just whatever he happens to think of. He always ends with, "Mark, _please_. Call me."

 

Eduardo puts Hayden to bed, and tries not to be distracted, no matter how hard it is. As he rocks his son to sleep, he tells Hayden the story of how Jamie was always so enthusiastic about Eduardo and Mark, always asking if Mark had called. Then he shifts into the first time she met Mark, tricking them all into getting time alone with him and talking about Eduardo and his “wide open heart”, and what an impact she had on the two of them. 

 

Hayden’s eyes twinkle as he listens, and Eduardo feels so impossibly melancholy about it all because whenever he looks into them all he can think is _those are Jamie’s eyes_ … As Hayden’s eyelids droop Eduardo ponders how someday, all Hayden will know of Jamie will come from these stories. He knows it’s defeatist, but a part of him wonders if things don’t work out with Mark, maybe this is all _Mark_ will be someday, a far-off and fuzzy story, a barely-there memory. He doesn’t know if he can handle that. 

 

He pushes the thought away because he _can’t_ let himself think like that. Not when there’s still hope. 

 

The next night after Hayden is safely in bed, Eduardo camps out on the couch and has two beers, still feeling sorry for himself. He actually can't remember how long it's been since he had more than three quarters of a beer—at _least_ since Hayden was born—so it doesn't take long to feel drunk and stupid.

 

He calls Mark, meaning to just ramble in his voicemail again like he usually does, but for some reason as he's dialing the numbers he's filled with anger. He gets stuck thinking of how _rude_ it is for Mark to do this, just pick up and abandon everything without telling everyone, ignoring Eduardo like he's not even there. It's so _college_ and idiotic and childish, he thinks, grinding his teeth. 

 

Hearing Mark's voice on the recorded greeting almost makes him change his mind. In that moment, hearing the straightforward, "This is Mark, I don't want to take your call right now so leave a message," makes him want to hang up right there, because this is _Mark_ —who is immature and honest and insecure and brilliant and guarded and vulnerable and stubborn and brave and wonderful and sweet and _his_ , and Eduardo loves him _so_ much, so fully and unreservedly that he can't even deal.

 

However, with the alcohol in his bloodstream it is too easy to push that thought away and seem less momentous and important than it is, and Eduardo finds himself listening for the beep.

 

It finally comes and the word spill out like a torrent.

 

He had expected them to be angry, like he was just a second ago, but he can feel himself grow pale and cold, feels himself _shake_ and knows it's not fury; it's fear.

 

"Mark," he says, his voice cracking in the middle, and _dammit_. He tries to clear his throat and collect himself, starting over. "Mark, I can't... I don't know what to do without you here, anymore. It's really weird and I'm just, I'm _scared_ , Mark. I don't know what I did or why you're not here, but I—I need you. And I'm _sorry_ , for whatever it was. Is. _Fuck_ , Mark, you... You're the only person who can make me like this, make me feel like I'm all strung out and messy and desperate and... What happened to the three of us, the family we said we were? I just. I want to know, Mark. I don't want to be in this alone."

 

He can't think of how to end the message, because it feels like he's left a loose end hanging, but it ends up not mattering since the machine cuts off his silence. Eduardo swears under his breath and breathes deeply, trying to sort out his thoughts in some kind of coherent way before he dials again.

 

He's somehow managed to get a hold of anger again when he starts the second message, spilling out in a vehement tone, "And you know what else--"

 

But then, there is a click and, miracle of miracles, Mark's voice on the other end. "Wardo," he says, and he sounds _fucking exhausted_ and Eduardo feels a twinge of guilt.

 

"Mark," he replies back after a pause, so absolutely dumbstruck that Mark is talking to him. "Why... Did you--"

 

"You didn't do anything," Mark cuts him off, sounding passionate in the way that he gets when he thinks something is of the utmost importance. "I just. I need to think, and I can't do that with the way things were and... I'm sorry," Mark finishes. "I don't want to worry you or hurt you or anything because Wardo I would _never_... And I don't want to, _fuck_ , I feel just as sick and desperate as you do about this."

 

Eduardo lets out a sound like a sob, but he's too drunk to be embarrassed. In his mind he’s trying to picture Mark's face as he says all this, wondering if his eyes are red rimmed and have bruises underneath from not sleeping well, just as his own do. "Shit," he breathes, exhaling loudly and scrubbing a hand over his face. "I _hate_ this," Eduardo murmurs, slurring a little, the words feeling slippery on his tongue.

 

Mark is quiet on the other end for a second, before asking quietly, "Are you drunk?"

 

Eduardo responds with a noncommittal sound, because _fuck him_ , what the hell does that matter? But he doesn't get a chance to say any of that before Mark is whispering. "I just need a little time. And some space." And then in an even smaller voice, "Is that okay?"

 

This time Eduardo replies, saying "Yes."

 

Mark is silent for a little bit, so much so that at first Eduardo thinks Mark might have hung up on him. "I miss you," Mark finally admits, like a confession.

 

"I love you," Eduardo replies immediately, sounding so brutally honest that it physically hurts a little. 

 

"I love you too," Mark repeats after a second, not making Eduardo's pulse beat as hard in nervousness this time. "Bye," he says, and then there is a soft click, and he is gone.

 

Eduardo heads up to bed, and tries to breathe in and out a little before shucking his pants and t-shirt and climbing between the covers. The last thing he remembers thinking is that he hopes— _God_ , he hopes they are doing this right.  
*  
On Sunday, Hayden is in his high chair and Eduardo is at the island, cutting up banana and talking to his son. He’s mostly just rambling but Hayden is babbling along. Eduardo knows it’s silly, but it still feels like Hayden _just_ started talking, so he’s trying to coax all the words out of him that he can for now. So that’s why he doesn’t notice it. 

 

It isn’t until Hayden squeals, loud and delighted, that Eduardo looks up and sees Mark on the other side of the kitchen. Mark laughs a little at Hayden’s reaction, and says, “Hey, buddy,” before turning back to look at Eduardo. 

 

He is nervous now, Eduardo can see it in the way he clutches the strap of his backpack a little tighter and the way he bites down on his lip, the uncertainty in his eyes and the small tremor in the hand hanging behind his side. Eduardo wants to chase it all away, he wants to make Mark feel better, but he _can’t_ —his brain is too busy trying to figure out if this is actually real or just some kind of crazy, stress-related hallucination. 

 

Then Mark breaks eye contact, looking down at the ground and shuffling his feet, like he feels guilty, but it is only for a second—then he is looking back up at Eduardo and there is only pure desperation: need and regret in his eyes and, just— _fuck_. 

 

Eduardo clears the room in four long strides, determined and no longer stunned. He’s pulling Mark into an embrace fiercely, hugging him so close to his body, and he feels something loosen in his chest. “You asshole,” he murmurs fondly, and he feels Mark nuzzle deeper into his neck and suddenly he can feel the wetness of Mark’s tears. It makes his heart ache and he tightens his hold on Mark. “ _Please_ don’t ever do that to me again.”

 

Mark nods twice, in quick succession, and makes a sound that comes out part sob and part sigh. Eduardo can feel Mark trembling in his arms and it makes all the anger and frustration and worry he’s been feeling throughout the week just _melt_ away. He doesn’t want to be the first one to pull back, so he waits until Mark lifts his head up. 

 

He looks _wrecked_. Eduardo focuses on his eyes, which are bloodshot, and the bags underneath them, like Mark hasn’t been sleeping. He reaches up and wipes at the tear tracks on Mark’s face with his thumb. Mark closes his eyes and sort of leans into the contact, so Eduardo leaves it there to caress Mark’s face until he lets out a ragged sigh. Eduardo grabs his wrist. “C’mon,” he murmurs as he pulls Mark over to the table, lightly pushing him down into a chair and sitting next to him. 

 

And they talk. Mark explains everything, how Sean made some throwaway comment about how Mark should consider selling his house since he was living with Eduardo now and didn’t foresee that changing anytime soon (since Sean wanted to _buy it_ , the opportunistic asshole). To which Mark had protested that they weren’t living together. This forced Sean to lay out the evidence before him. It drove Mark into a mini-freakout, and so when Facebook was being attacked he just used it as an excuse not to leave the office, and then when it _was_ fixed Mark went to his place at night just to prove to himself that _he could_ if he wanted to, but it was miserable. His house was too empty, too impersonal… it wasn’t _home_ anymore. So Mark came back. 

 

“ _Please_ ,” Mark says, voice pleading, leaning forward to draw Eduardo’s hands into his own. “ _Please_ forgive me, Wardo. I thought I needed to figure it out on my own but I was just _stupid_ , I should have come and talked to you, and I missed you _so much,_ Wardo…” he cuts himself off with a ragged gasp and looks down. 

 

Eduardo reaches forward to tilt up Mark’s chin, and smiles. Quietly, he says, “Mark, I did the same thing two weeks ago.”

 

Mark quirks an eyebrow at him, curious. Eduardo rolls his eyes and continues. “Chris asked me if at some point he was going to have to write a press release when someone inevitably finds out. And then I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off for a week trying to figure out if this was something that I’d tricked you into--” Mark gives him an incredulous look, “—or, I don’t know, _something,_ but then I just… Got over it,” he explains with a shrug. 

 

Mark makes a small sound of despair and drops his head into his hands. “Ugh, Wardo, that makes me feel even _worse,_ ” he moans. “So basically the only difference is that you were good enough to keep it to yourself, whereas in _my_ case, I was an asshole who had to go and hurt you in the process--”

 

Eduardo wraps one arm around Mark’s neck and cuts him off with a kiss. It’s short, but Eduardo tries to fill it with as much reassurance as he can before pulling away. “You’re ridiculous,” he says with a little bit of a laugh. Mark’s smile finally breaks through, and Eduardo feels whole again. “I’m glad you’re home, and I think… I think you should move in.” Mark’s eyes widen, but they don’t look worried—only surprised. “Now that _both_ of us will know it,” he finishes, giving Mark’s hand a squeeze. 

 

Mark’s eyes fill with tears and he squeezes back. “ _Of course_ I will,” he replies, voice thick. 

 

Eduardo can’t hold it back anymore, and he says, halfway between a laugh and tears, “I love you so much.”

 

Mark opens his mouth to reply, when Hayden squeals excitedly and claps his hands (his new favorite thing). They both laugh, and Eduardo feels like the luckiest person in the whole world.  
*  
The next day, Mark calls a realtor to discuss selling the house. He also calls Chris to tell him to that on Monday, the PR department needs to start working on a press release. He tells both of them that he plans to get his stuff out as soon as possible, and then he gets in contact with a packing company and pays them double to get everything done ASAP. 

 

So on Monday, Mark doesn’t go in. He practically _lived_ at the office the week before, not to mention that _he’s CEO bitch_ , so it’s fine. He wakes up at the crack of dawn to go over to his house, kissing Eduardo, who is still in bed, on the forehead on his way out. 

 

Wardo calls off work too, and he ends up going to the park with Hayden for the morning. They have a great time: Hayden is fascinated and charmed by a friendly dog there. He spots it immediately as Eduardo pushes the stroller into the park, and says, “ _Dog_ , Hayden.” Instead Hayden just points and shrieks happily, saying, “Woof woof, Day!” at every opportunity. Eduardo keeps repeating it to no avail, but Hayden keeps pointing and clapping and eventually the owner notices, walking the amiable golden retriever over to them, much to Hayden’s delight. He goes speechless as Eduardo shows him how to pet it, and then Hayden tries it himself. He gasps in and turns quickly to look at Eduardo, and then giggles euphorically. The owner and the dog leave soon after, but Hayden continues repeating, “Woof woof, woof woof!” the rest of the walk. 

 

(Eduardo starts imagining getting Hayden a dog. Not now, of course; it’s not a good time and Hayden’s much too young… but the pure joy in Hayden’s eyes as he interacted with the dog is something Eduardo definitely wants to see again, on a daily basis if possible. He makes a mental note to talk to Mark about it, and ask him if he’s allergic.)

 

When they return home, they enter the house through the back door since it’s closest to the way they came. He unbuckles Hayden from the stroller and picks him up, planning to go up to the nursery to change him. 

 

They stop in the entryway, where Mark is standing stationary, arms crossed and a thoughtful, possibly overwhelmed look on his face, surrounded by a sea of boxes. 

 

Eduardo feels a soft expression spread over his own face, and for a second he just stands there, taking it in, savoring the warm feeling in his chest. 

 

Hayden, on the other hand, is unimpressed. “Mar?” he asks curiously, reaching out his hands a little. 

 

Mark turns and spots them, smile instantly appearing on his face like a reflex. “Hey,” he says softly. 

 

“Hey,” Eduardo replies, equally warm, and then walks forward. He grabs Mark’s shoulder and pulls him in to give him a quick peck, and then presses their foreheads together. “Stop worrying,” he murmurs before pulling away to continue upstairs. “You already lived here!” he calls over his shoulder, and he hears Mark’s laugh echo through the house. It is a good sound.  
*  
As Hayden's first birthday approaches, things continue to go smoothly for all of them. Having Mark around all the time is something Eduardo never dared dream of, but now he can't imagine life any other way.

 

Not that it's idyllic, by any means. Yeah, Hayden's mostly sleeping through the night now and things are going great at work for both of them, Celia is talking to him on a regular basis and they hang out with Chris and Dustin (whose lives are also in a really good place, respectively: Chris is dating a great guy named Sean and Dustin and Aubrey are hanging out casually, not to mention that they're constantly texting and spend hours on the phone at night). Eduardo still worries about Hayden at every possible opportunity, though he feels less guilty about it now after his talk with Randi at Thanksgiving.

 

His recurring worry is that they're spoiling Hayden rotten. It doesn't seem to be a huge issue now; Hayden's a spectacularly happy kid, having mostly gotten over the seemingly never ending crying jags, just as everyone told Eduardo he would, with very few temper tantrums. But still, he worries... what chance does Hayden have with two billionaire parents?

 

It's something he's trying really hard to keep in mind as they plan Hayden's first birthday party.

 

It's difficult though, because the guest list just grew so fast, and somehow things got _way beyond_ the scale Eduardo imagined, but at a certain point he just has to give up and roll with it.

 

Mr. and Mrs. Zuckerberg are the first to arrive, having driven down a week before to spend more time with the three of them, which has been really great. Eduardo is constantly amazed by how unfailingly _nice_ they are; in fact, they drive from the hotel and get there early enough to help Mark and Eduardo set up (and thank god, because they need all the help they can get).

 

Randi shows up next, with her husband and kids in tow, which proves to be a godsend since having other kids to play with keeps Hayden occupied.

 

Then the gang arrives in pretty quick succession. Chris and his boyfriend Sean are right on time, looking perfect and punctual and happy. Eduardo has met Sean a few times and he still can't believe how perfect he is for Chris. It makes him feel so good to know that what Chris let slip in the middle of the night over the phone months ago (something Eduardo still worried about from time to time) is now a banished fear... Chris—the sweetest, kindest, most practical, arguably _best_ one, of them all—has someone who deserves and appreciates him.

 

Dustin and Aubrey walk in about five minutes after Chris and Sean, and they have arrived _together_. They aren't holding hands or doing anything else obvious, but the chemistry and quiet contentment between them is palpable. They stand a little closer together now, maybe, and every once in a while Dustin will shoot Aubrey a secret smile that she pretends not to notice. But Eduardo knows her well, too well to be fooled, and can see the way her eyes light up just a little when it happens.

 

By the time everybody’s crowded into the backyard, there is still an hour until the actual party starts, so they help get things organized and ready, or alternatively, just shower Hayden with attention (which he, goes without saying, _loves_ ).

 

At one pm, people beyond the regulars start to show up, compromised mostly of neighborhood kids Hayden occasionally plays with and their parents and a couple Facebook workers who have children Hayden's age.

 

There's a play area in the middle of the backyard for the kids, complete with a sandbox and some blankets to sprawl out on, and _of course_ , many toys. Most of the kids plop down there and are quite happy, but Hayden is turning into such a social butterfly that that isn't enough for him. He's surrounded by people he knows and he wants to flit between them all.

 

He can cruise now, which mostly means he can walk a few unsteady steps on his own before inevitably falling back on his butt, but also means that if someone is holding both his hands and toddles along with him, he does splendid. So that's mostly how it goes: Mark and Eduardo take turns walking around the backyard with him so he can charm everyone with his babbling and his irresistible smile.

 

The easy socialization and playing lasts about half an hour before the clown arrives to make balloon animals for the kids. He comes dressed in full clown attire, and as soon as Hayden sees him he starts to _wail_ , tugging on Eduardo's pant leg until he's picked up, and then hiding his tearful face in Eduardo's neck. "Day, _no_!" he protests between shaky, wracked breaths. Mark goes over and talks to the clown, asking him to change if possible, and he's very nice about it, assuring them both that this kind of thing happens all the time.

 

The clown changes back into his street clothes, but keeps the large shoes and adds a name tag that reads "Bozo." After that, Hayden wiggles to be put down, approaching the very understanding clown uncertainly, still wiping at his tear stained cheeks with one hand. He regards Bozo with trepidation, until Bozo produces a balloon dog to give to Hayden, after which he's Hayden's favorite person. He brandishes it like a trophy, showing it to everyone around and accompanying it with a very adorable "woof woof!"

 

The Valencias walk through the back gate then, seeming almost nervous until they spot Hayden. Before Eduardo can even break away to go say hi, Mrs. Valencia has scooped Hayden into her arms tightly and is spinning him around, eliciting joyful squeals from Hayden.

 

A minute or so later, the three of them come up to Eduardo, all looking flushed with happiness. He gets a bone crushing hug and a chuckle from Mr. Valencia, and then Mrs. Valencia gives him a one armed embrace while still holding Hayden.

 

"He's gotten so big," they both marvel, which _yeah_ , Eduardo can sympathize, and he sees Hayden _every day_. And then, "He looks like her," Mrs. Valencia says, a little softer, stroking Hayden's hair as she looks into Hayden’s dark brown eyes, echoing the shape and color of Jamie’s exactly. Mr. Valencia nods along sadly, and Eduardo feels a twinge of sadness as he wishes that Jamie could see her son now, at one year old, already so much like her... In not only his eyes but his stubbornness his sunny disposition and his instant charm.

 

There are excited squeals from the other side of the yard that lets Eduardo know that Bozo is starting the face painting now, and Hayden’s eyes get wide and excited as he sees some of the other kids running over to where it’s getting set up. He starts to bounce up and down in Mrs. Valencia’s arms, pointing and giggling. “Day!” he whines a little, impatient to get over there. 

 

Eduardo rolls his eyes and reaches for Hayden, but Mr. Valencia says, “Oh, it’s fine Eduardo, we can take him.” 

 

Normally he would put up more of a fight, but he sees the way they’re looking at Hayden, and he understands. He knows it must be bittersweet for them, getting to see Hayden so rarely and missing Jamie so much. So he nods, and watches them walk Hayden over to the face painting station, the three of them making their way hand in hand. 

 

He feels Mark at his side almost immediately, and slips his hand into Mark’s, trying to ignore the tight feeling in his chest. Mark gives his fingers a gentle squeeze and nudges Eduardo with his shoulder.

 

"Hey," he says simply.

 

Eduardo smiles back in response. "Hey," he replies, letting the warmth he feels in his heart seep into his voice. Mark blushes a little and ducks his head, and then leads them both over to relax on the patio.  
*  
It’s a short break, since the next person to make their way through the backyard gate is the one Eduardo was most worried about. Celia treads in uncertainly, looking a bit overwhelmed as she surveys the party and all the hyper children.

 

Eduardo spots her and waves her over, rising out of his chair. She smiles gratefully and heads over unsteadily, red high heels digging into the grass. Eduardo pulls her into a hug as soon as she is close enough. " _Eu perdi você_!" he murmurs into her hair, and she gives a little bit of a nervous laugh. **(I missed you)**

 

"I missed you too, _irmão_." she replies, pulling back but letting Eduardo hang onto her hands so she's still at arm’s length. Eduardo surveys her, noting that she looks much the same, just... Older? More mature is probably a better word for what it is. She's wearing a simple black skirt with a ruffle at the bottom and a silk red blouse. Her long, dark brown hair is pulled into a ponytail with the ends purposefully tousled. When she catches his eye again, she gives him a wary look. "What?" **(brother)**

 

Eduardo shrugs. "Nothing, you just look... All grown up." Celia rolls her eyes at the choice of words, so Eduardo laughs and tries again. "Fine, you look professional. Better?"

 

"Yes,"' she laughs back. Then she looks around them, and Eduardo can practically see her nerves return. "Looks like you've got your hands full, here."

 

Eduardo can only shrug in response. "No more than usual," he replies, which is the truth. His life may have become an unpredictable mess since Hayden, but it's certainly a beautiful one. Speaking of...

 

Eduardo looks around, craning his neck, trying to spot Hayden amongst the chaos. When he does, he can feel the grin spread over his face involuntarily. He's camped out on one of the blankets, chatting at Randi’s kids comfortably, showing them his balloon puppy with a very serious (and adorable) look on his face, which Bozo has painted to look like a lion.

 

Eduardo tugs on Celia's hands. "Come on," he calls over his shoulder in explanation. "There's someone I want you to meet." She catches his meaning and seems to pale a little. 

 

Hayden lights up as Eduardo approaches, throwing his arms out and proclaiming " _Day_!" as if he did not just see him ten minutes ago. Eduardo picks him up easily, promising Randi’s kids that he’ll be right back soon, and carrying him back to where Celia had been following slowly.

 

Eduardo plants a kiss on his cheek before standing him up in the grass. Hayden looks back at him, puzzled, before he turns around again to see Celia. She is kneeling down on the grass to be on Hayden's level, a tentative but nervous smile on her face.

 

"Hey Hayden," she says, voice much smaller than it had been a minute ago. It's almost like she's _afraid_ Hayden won't like her, which, to Eduardo, is so ludicrous. Hayden loves everyone with his wide open heart.

 

"Hi!" Hayden responds sunnily, waving a little. Eduardo gives him a soft shove and he toddles a little closer to her with a cautious smile.

 

"Hi," she repeats, a giggle bubbling out of her. "I'm, um. I'm your Aunt Celia." She tilts her head curiously. "Can you say Celia?"

 

Hayden immediately turns to Eduardo, pointing and declaring, "Cee!" emphatically, like he's introducing them for the first time. Eduardo stifles a laugh and nods encouragingly.

 

Celia laughs more openly this time. "That's really good!" she praises, smoothing down her skirt, a little jittery still. Hayden shoots her a full grin at the compliment, and Celia stutters underneath it. "Oh, I... also brought you presents!" she exclaims, pulling her purse off her shoulder to rummage around in it.

 

To Eduardo it looks less like a purse and more like the carpetbag from _Mary Poppins_ , and he is unsurprised to watch her pull out three gifts, all wrapped in bright colorful paper. Hayden's eyes light up to see them, turning back to Eduardo and squealing at a very high pitch before taking two steps forward only to wobble down onto his bottom in front of them.

 

Celia grins at the sight of Hayden's enraptured face, looking a little misty. Then she leans in a little closer and says so quietly that Eduardo has to strain to hear, "Hayden, can I have a hug?"

 

Hayden giggles and immediately throws his little chubby baby arms around her neck, and Celia gasps a little like she wasn't expecting him to actually _do_ it (which is silly, since hugs are like, Hayden’s new favorite thing). She catches Eduardo looking at her over Hayden's shoulder, and beams at him, excited and ecstatic. He smiles helplessly back and tries not to tear up with happiness.

 

Hayden is bound and determined to open the gifts, reaching for them insistently even though Eduardo purposefully keeps them just out of his reach. Hayden gets more and more frustrated as it all progresses, so Eduardo determines that it's time for cake and presents.

 

He rounds everyone up, the kids all seated at the patio table and the adults surrounding them, standing. Mrs. Valencia, ever helpful, goes in to retrieve the cakes, setting the kid’s cake in front of Hayden, vanilla cake with chocolate icing and rainbow sprinkles, and the adult’s cake, devil's temptation chocolate raspberry, off to the side.

 

(Eduardo had whipped up the adult cake last night in an effort to distract himself from worrying about the party. He even got Mark to help; _well_ , if one defines helping as stirring the batter and making sarcastic complaints in the process. Most people probably wouldn't, but really, Eduardo's long gone when it comes to this kind of thing.

 

"It takes so _long to bake_ ," Mark whined as he checked the timer for about the tenth time, reading 20 minutes yet again, not having moved at all since the last time he looked at it.

 

Eduardo had just laughed. "You're just not cut out for baking," he replied, whisking the frosting while Mark stood idly against the oven. Then he tilted his head thoughtfully. "Actually, you're just not a very patient person in general," he amended. "You're bad at waiting to give yourself things you want. Not to mention things _I_ want, or _Hayden_ wants," Eduardo contemplated aloud, shooting him a teasing look while still focused on trying to reach the bit of frosting smeared on his elbow.

 

Mark had just raised his eyebrows in a dangerous way. "You think so?"

 

Eduardo didn't think anything of it at the time, just nodded and said, "Yeah."

 

And so as soon as the cake was taken out, iced, and in the fridge, Mark dragged Eduardo upstairs and showed him just how _patient_ he could be when he wanted to, teasing Eduardo mercilessly until he was shaking and begging for it.)

 

Eduardo lights the huge blue, “1” candle and everyone sings a very off-key chorus of happy birthday before Mark and Eduardo lean in on either side of Hayden to help him blow it out.

 

It occurs to him later, while everyone is eating and happy and he's able to just sit back and admire everything—the way Hayden's entire face is covered in chocolate icing and sprinkles, the way Mark is sitting off to the side eating some of the kid cake (because he's basically a kid inside _anyway_ ) while he chats easily with a Facebook worker, the way Celia and Aubrey seem to be bonding over discussing Eduardo's many embarrassing moments, the way Mr. and Mrs. Valencia are laughing with Mr. and Mrs. Zuckerberg and regarding Hayden with identical fond looks—that’s when he realizes. He can't think of a single thing more he would have wished for.

 

Before he can get too content, he notices that the music has suddenly stopped. He turns around curiously, only to see Dustin fiddling with the speakers. He seems to finish with it and nods at it approvingly, moving away to stand atop a chair he's dragged out there, remote in hand.

 

He has no idea what Dustin's up to, but he gets an idea pretty quickly as he hits play on the remote and he hears Peter Gabriel blasting through the speakers.

 

Everyone else turns to face him, surprised and confused. Then comprehension seems to dawn on them all and the puzzled looks morph into sweet; indulgent expressions as Dustin obviously lip-synchs his way through the first verse (since he doesn't seem to know the words).

 

Particular reactions stand out, of course... Mark is rolling his eyes, Chris has hidden his head in his hands long-sufferingly (though Eduardo can see a hint of a smile), and then there is Aubrey, the object of this serenade, her mouth gaping open like a fish with shock.

 

Dustin picks it up when he gets to the chorus (because evidently he knows this part) singing at his maximum volume: " _Iiiiiiinnnn your eyes_ , the light the heat, _your eyes_ , I am complete..."

 

The crowd loves it; all the adults pulling their children from the chairs to guide them out onto the grass, holding hands and dancing clumsily to Dustin's ridiculousness. Eduardo, who is still trying to stifle his laughter at the entire situation, grabs Hayden and balances him on his hip, using the other to grab Mark and pull him out onto the impromptu dance floor. Mark makes a face like he doesn't want to, but it is way too indulgent for Eduardo to take seriously, so Mark comes.

 

Along the way, Mark manages to capture Aubrey's wrist and pull her along too; making a human chain between them. She resists too, but, like Mark, eventually gives in and follows.

 

They make their way to the very front, where Mark pushes Aubrey over to where Dustin is. She trips over and then freezes, embarrassed. Of course, Dustin isn't having any of that, and extends a hand to pull her up onto the lawn chair too, and then they are both laughing and singing and dancing, reigning over everyone else at the party. Eduardo's never seen her openly happy, this utter lack of self-consciousness, and he is so glad for them both that he just mentally piles it onto the huge pile of good things that he considers today.

 

Eduardo and Mark swing Hayden around gently, all locked hands through the rest of the song, and even Mark is singing along and Hayden is just smiling so brightly it makes Eduardo's heart hurt a little.

 

The song seems to be over much too quickly for everyone's taste (except maybe Mark's). There is clapping and cheering as Dustin and Aubrey hop down from the chair, and Dustin bows shamelessly while Aubrey curtsies jokingly, still laughing. There's a moment of stillness between them as they turn to look at each other, and then Dustin grins and pulls her in for a kiss.

 

It's the perfect moment: everyone is hooting and hollering, encouraging them. Aubrey seems unsure of herself and embarrassed for what seems like half a second, but then she works her hands around Dustin's neck through her blush and everyone gets even louder.

 

They pull apart, and just like flipping a switch, the sky seems to open up and rain pours down on them. There are surprised, good-natured screams as everyone tries to rush the kids inside before they inevitably get wet and muddy. Mark takes Hayden, walking him inside even though Hayden looks perfectly at home in the downpour, arms outstretched and head tilted up to the sky, as if to get a better look, and an impossibly wide smile.

 

Eduardo regretfully tears his eyes away from watching Hayden’s look of wonder to enlist everyone else around to help him carry in the cake and presents before they are damaged beyond repair. With teamwork they are able to make swift work of everything, and get inside before the lightning and thunder start.

 

The kids are starting to get a little overtired and whiney anyway, but the storm makes them all a little skittish and weepy. Eduardo runs his hand through his hair nervously, because he _hadn't had a plan for this_ , but Chris (ever the responsible one) suggests that they sit all the kids down on the couch with a movie until their eyelids start to droop.

 

It works splendidly, and soon the only sounds coming from the living room are those of _Finding Nemo_ (Hayden's favorite, though Eduardo's pretty partial to it too). Eduardo chats with the adults in the kitchen. Mark makes a move to join him, but the way Hayden jumps and whimpers every time there is a flash of lightning or a rumble of thunder is enough to discourage him, as is the way that he tearfully begged, “Mar, _no go_!” the first time Mark tried to leave the room. 

 

A part of him wants to be in there with them, the three of them cuddled into the couch like they’ve done a million times before, but before he can think too much of it Mrs. Valencia comes up and gives his elbow a gentle squeeze. 

 

She nods in at Mark at Hayden. “Look at them,” she says, her voice soft. The corner’s of Eduardo’s lips tug up a little, because really, he can’t do anything else. 

 

Mrs. Valencia continues, eyes still fixed on Mark and Hayden in the other room. “We saw the _60 Minutes_ interview, you know,” she informs him, finally turning to face him. “And sweetie, let me tell you, it was adorable, but… It’s nothing compared to actually seeing the two of you together.” 

 

Eduardo lets himself grin, and tries to murmur back, “Thank you,” though he’s not sure how clear it comes out with the way his heart is tripping over itself in his chest. He’s blushing so red that he’s sure that somehow the temperature of the room has gone up about five degrees because of the heat he’s giving off.

 

She sees that he’s embarrassed, but leans in closer to give him a gentle rub on the back and continues anyway. “No, really! Eduardo, he makes you so… so… _happy_. They both do,” she adds, giving his shoulder a squeeze. 

 

Eduardo looks in at them, and at in the very same moment Mark glances over at him. Their eyes meet and a helpless smile eases over Mark’s features, and Eduardo has never seen him look so content, so gentle, so _in love_.

 

He smiles back, quick as a reflex, just as softly and blissful. “Yeah,” he answers Mrs. Valencia, and she laughs a little before giving him a gentle push into the living room, where Mark and Hayden are waiting. They shift aside on the couch to make room for him, and Eduardo feels like he’s exactly where he should be.  
*  
It's _late_ by the time they finally convince everyone else to leave. Dustin and Aubrey just want to make out like teenagers in any deserted corner they can find, and Mark yells at them multiple times to get a room to no avail. By the time they leave, Aubrey is a little flushed and Dustin is wearing a shit-eating grin. They're holding hands and Chris rolls his eyes and drags them out the door.

 

It's even later when they finally get Hayden to bed. The sugar from the cake may have wound him up earlier, but now he is experiencing an almighty crash. Plus having so many friends and family in the house got him excited, so he has fallen asleep in his high chair before either of them even notice.

 

They troop upstairs to change him and tuck him in, and then head back downstairs to finish cleaning up the remainder of paper plates and plastic cups littered about the house.

 

"I just can't believe it's been a year," Eduardo laments as he drops more trash into the already overfilling garbage bag. "I swear, I can remember the day he was born like it was yesterday."

 

Mark doesn't look up, but a small smile crosses over his features. "Me too," he murmurs.

 

Eduardo is confused for a moment, and then it hits him. _Oh shit._

 

He sets the trash bag on the ground and makes his way over to Mark.

 

"That was the first night we talked to each other again."

 

Mark just rolls his eyes fondly and nods.

 

"So this makes tonight, like... Our anniversary, or something."

 

Mark shrugs good-naturedly. "Or something."

 

Eduardo feels like such an _ass_.

 

He's kissing Mark immediately, and then pulls back before he can get carried away. "Mark, I'm so, so sorry—just with the birthday party and everything I didn't even... Didn't even think about it, oh my god--”

 

Mark is chuckling beside him, totally unfazed by the whole thing. “Wardo, it’s fine--”

 

“No, it’s not, it’s _really_ not, oh my god, _Mark_ —wait, hold on, I can fix this… I think there are candles in coffee table drawer, can you get them? I’m going to run and get the candlesticks from the kitchen, and I think we have some champagne in the fridge out in garage...” Eduardo rambles, already backing away. Mark is still laughing. 

 

When he’s in the garage, Eduardo allows himself a handful of seconds to be angry with himself. Because this is the kind of thing he was always _good at_... He’s always prided himself on being a really good boyfriend, the kind who is spontaneous and never forgets anniversaries and pays attention. He realizes that it’s probably just being a dad, and that’s understandable, but he still feels disappointed. 

 

Instead of dwelling on it, Eduardo just shakes his head and grabs the bottle of champagne, heading back to the kitchen to snatch up the candlesticks. “Mark…” he calls out into the living room. 

 

His brow furrows when there is no answer. In fact, there is no sound at all. Eduardo feels a little hint of nervousness he can’t explain as he continues into the living room, leaving the bottle of champagne behind on the table and clutching the candlesticks in one hand. 

 

What he sees there sends them clattering to the floor. 

 

“Um,” Mark begins, meeting Eduardo’s eyes dead on as he looks up from where he is down on one knee on the carpet. He looks down momentarily to reach into his pocket, pulling out a black velvet box. “I was glad you forgot about today. I wanted this to be a surprise,” he finishes with a shaky smile. 

 

“ _Mark_ …” Eduardo exhales. He can feel his eyes stinging already, and he can’t quite catch his breath. 

 

Mark’s smile evens out a little, like he’s gaining confidence by the minute. “C’mere,” he murmurs, reaching out a hand. Eduardo drifts forward as if in a daze. 

 

When he is close enough, Mark uses his outstretched hand to take one of Eduardo’s. “Hi,” Mark laughs a little breathlessly. 

 

"Hey," Eduardo manages to croak out, letting Mark squeeze his hand even tighter and hoping he doesn't feel the way Eduardo is shaking.

 

"Surprised?" Mark asks, an edge of pride and teasing in his voice.

 

Eduardo would roll his eyes, but he's too worried that doing so would cause the tears to spill over and he doesn't want that to happen yet, Mark hasn't even _started_... So he settles for a tearful laugh instead.

 

"Eduardo," Mark begins, and Eduardo can immediately tell the confidence has gone again. Mark looks so focused and determined and anxious. But he plows on.

 

“You make me the happiest I’ve ever been.” 

 

A noise escapes Eduardo against his will—a jagged, wet sob that he can’t hold in, because that’s it, _that’s all Eduardo’s ever wanted_ is to make Mark happy. He knows he’s a mess: he can feel his hands are shaking and eyes overflowing but it doesn’t matter, he feels like he’s unraveling in the best way, because he can see that Mark is unraveling too. 

 

"Wardo, I have to pinch myself every day to prove that this is actually real, that I get to have this... Because I really don't deserve it."

 

Eduardo moves to cut him off there, because that's absolutely not true—sometimes he just wants Mark to see himself the way Eduardo sees him, but Mark squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head.

 

"No, Wardo, don't, I practiced this..." he grits out, like he's trying to remember his place, and Eduardo bites his lip to keep from laughing, because the mental image of Mark rehearsing his speech in front of the mirror is almost too sweet for Eduardo to handle.

 

“Never… _shit,_ where was I… Never—never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that you and I would be _us_ , and that we would have Hayden, who I—I, I love _so_ much, Wardo. This is so much better than any, _any_ fantasy I ever had—and I had a lot, okay, since I’ve kind of been in love with you since I was eighteen.” Eduardo laughs here, because _god_ he knows the feeling, so much, and squeezes Mark’s hands. 

 

“Which, okay, on the one hand, is kind of ridiculous, because it means I loved you through, like, lawsuits and when we were furious with each other and I should have given up so many times but I _couldn’t_ … I’ve loved you for so long I just didn’t know how to stop. But, on the other hand, it kind of sucks, because before you my life was so… _god_ , Wardo, it was so… it was just Facebook and I was _such an asshole_ because of it. But now—now I know that if I had to choose between you and Facebook, Wardo… I would choose you every time.” Mark admits, bravely meeting Eduardo's eyes and holding his gaze. Eduardo feels himself draw in a breath, because he knew that, probably (on some subconscious level, at least)... But hearing Mark say it aloud is something else entirely.

 

It’s just that, Mark doesn’t usually _talk_ like this. He’s never had an easy time of expressing his feelings, and while he has gotten much better over the years, it’s still hard for him. So the fact that he’s powering through it, setting aside all those feelings of vulnerability for _Eduardo_ , makes it all mean so much more. 

 

"But _please_ don't make me choose..." he mutters under his breath as he looks away, and Eduardo just has to laugh at that because it is perfect. There are tears streaming down his face by now, but he couldn't care less.

 

"And I know we haven't talked about this and so I understand if you want to say no for now... But Wardo, I'd wait as long as you wanted, hell, if you don’t even want to get married I'll still be here because I can't leave, not again...” Mark laughs nervously as he continues. "You're stuck with me now, so, as long as you want me--"

 

"Mark," Eduardo cuts him off, voice a little choked. Mark looks up at him like he's just risen to the surface for air, nervous ramblings very far away. Their eyes meet and Eduardo can see the love in those infinite blue depths, the honesty and the hope there, and he can't wait any longer... He drops to his knees so that he and Mark are on the same level.

 

He surges in and kisses Mark breathless. He listens to the hitch in Mark's breath and the feels way Mark clutches at his hips, trying to pull him _closer, closer, closer_ , though there is no space between them. Eduardo can feel the wetness on Mark's cheeks now too, but he doesn't know whose tears are whose and doesn't really care. All he knows is there is Mark, breathless and beautiful and brave beside him, and that is enough.

 

When he pulls back, Mark opens his eyes slowly, a little dazed. Eduardo smiles sweetly, _so_ , so happy, and manages, "You had something to ask me?"

 

Mark laughs, smile wide and dimples visible, and the sight is perfect, so gorgeous that Eduardo can practically feel his heart try to careen out of his chest.

 

Maybe it was the kissing, maybe it's having Eduardo closer, maybe it was the joke, but Mark's nerves seem to have evaporated as his expression melts into the most earnest, infatuated one he has; a secret expression that Eduardo knows is only for him. And then the question just flows right out of his mouth, still breathless, but this time with what Eduardo knows is love. "Wardo, will you marry me?"

 

There is not a second's pause before Eduardo is nodding emphatically. "Yes," he whispers back, absolutely wondrous.

 

Mark smiles like the sun as he fumbles around for the ring box (dropped unceremoniously during the mid-proposal kiss), but he eventually produces it, clicking it open to reveal two interlocking simple silver bands. Eduardo watches as Mark slips one on his finger, absolutely transfixed by the sight, until he looks up at Mark's incandescent grin and decides that is much, much better.

 

Eduardo does the same, feels Mark's hands shake and then threads their fingers together, leaning in close enough so their foreheads are touching as he does so.

 

"You have no idea how much I love you," he murmurs, completely fervent, consumed with it.

 

Mark smiles knowingly and angles their faces closer. "I think I do, actually," he manages, just as heartfelt, threading his other hand through the soft curls at the back of Eduardo's neck and tilting his head _just so_ to press their lips together.

 

It starts off chaste, Eduardo swears it does... It just doesn't stay that way for very long. Their tongues are tangling together desperately before he knows it; Mark biting Eduardo's lip as Eduardo tries to lick his way back into Mark's mouth. He feels his pulse speed up as Mark moves to kiss the sensitive spot just below his ear and nibble gently at the lobe, which never fails to make him shudder all over. But even that is nothing compared to the way his breathing quickens as Mark gives him a gentle shove onto his back, and if he wasn't fully hard already, _god_ , he certainly is now.

 

Mark pins Eduardo’s hands over his head and Eduardo goes hot all over, moans a little into the kiss and cants his hips up, seeking friction. Mark responds by shoving a thigh between Eduardo's legs, and Eduardo ruts against it a little, blushing furiously all the while. It makes him feel shameless, a little wanton, but he knows what it does to Mark—and sure enough, a cracked, desperate groan escapes his lips, and Eduardo feels a little dizzy.

 

He tugs at Mark's t-shirt, emitting a pleading noise against Mark’s lips, and Mark breaks contact for long enough to allow Eduardo to pull the shirt over his head. Eduardo throws it halfway across the room in the process, but he couldn't care less as he runs his hands down Mark's sides, trying to soothe the goosebumps he leaves in his wake. He slots his fingers between Mark's ribs for a moment before working his arms around Mark to embrace him completely and pull him even closer.

 

Mark gasps, pulling away and panting. Eduardo tries to follow with his mouth, but Mark evades him. Eduardo whimpers a little, protesting the loss of Mark's soft lips over his own, but Mark exhales. "Wardo, what... What do you want, Wardo?"

 

Eduardo works his fingers up to tangle in Mark's curls. "You," he admits, knowing it wasn't the right response but feeling the truth of it echo all over him.

 

And anyway, it definitely can't be bad with the way Mark is looking at him, like he just can't believe that Eduardo is for real, and _jesus christ_ Eduardo understand that.

 

Instead, Mark just licks his lips and stutters out, "Bed?", and Eduardo is tugging him up and nodding before he can even fully get the word out.

 

They don't even kiss on their way to their room, only pull each other up the stairs, set on getting to the bed as fast as possible. Once they're in the doorway, Mark gives Eduardo's hand a tug, spinning him around to kiss him open-mouthed. Eduardo shivers all over as Mark kisses him, completely happy, as always, to be the center of Mark's attention and obsessive focus.

 

He whines into the kiss and disconnects them, walking backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed, falling backwards onto it. Eduardo expects Mark to follow him quickly, but instead Mark walks forward slowly, shucking his pants and socks deliberately before crawling up to where Eduardo is on their ridiculously large California king.

 

Up close like this, Eduardo can see that Mark's eyes are dark, his pupils blown. He tries to control his breathing, slow everything down as Mark reaches over to slowly unbutton Eduardo's shirt. Their eyes are still locked throughout the process, and Eduardo swears he can practically hear his own heartbeat thumping away. Mark moves next to undo Eduardo's pants, pulling them down and off.

 

Eduardo groans brokenly as Mark's short nails skim over his thighs, his hips, and he hears himself emit even more turned-on, desperate noises as Mark reaches behind him to give Eduardo's ass a squeeze and then push their hips together.

 

Their boxers are the only thing between them now, and Eduardo can feel the wet spots gathering at the front as he nibbles lightly at Mark's jaw, just where his stubble is beginning. Mark tilts his head up and swallows, Adam's apple bobbing. The sight makes Eduardo feel like he’s losing his mind, and before he's even conscious of it he is kissing lower, using his tongue to swipe over Mark's Adam’s apple quickly at then kiss the hollow of his throat.

 

Mark moans and Eduardo feels the vibrations, continuing where he is until Mark hooks a leg over Eduardo's and flips them over so Eduardo is underneath him. Eduardo squirms, creating a little friction and heat between them, and Mark rolls his hips _just so_.

 

" _Wardo_ ," he tries again, and this time Eduardo answers before Mark can even grit out the question.

 

"Fuck me, Mark," he says lowly, trying to keep his voice from wobbling. Mark lets out a whimper like that's what he wants too, and he's immediately reaching into the bedside table drawer for the lube.

 

Eduardo hears the click and squeezes his eyes shut. It gives him goose bumps when he feels, rather than sees, Mark gently tug down his boxers, and then there is a cool, slick finger circling his entrance. Eduardo exhales a little harshly and then feels Mark's lips cover his own, kissing him softly as he waits for Eduardo to relax. "Wardo, 've got you, got you..." he slurs between their mouths, and Eduardo gasps a little when he adds another.

 

Mark is working them agonizingly slowly, scissoring them gently and eliciting all kinds of desperate sounds from Eduardo's mouth. And then he brushes them _there_ and Eduardo lets out a sob. He needs Mark in him _now_ , before he comes _right then_.

 

"Mark, _please_ ," he moans. "Need you so much, want you so much, _Mark_..."

 

Mark's breathing is a little shaky, and he whispers back "Anything, _anything_ ," as he pulls his fingers out, reaching for the drawer again at the same time.

 

Eduardo's eyes fly open and he grabs Mark's wrist, stilling its movement toward the bedside table. "Mark, I want… want—just you.”

 

Mark’s eyes go wide and he exhales unsteadily. “Wardo, are you… are you _sure--_ ”

 

He’s nodding so fast he feels like a bobblehead. “Mark, Mark—I got tested last month, and… I don’t want to pressure you, but I _want_ this, and--”

 

He is silenced when Mark cuts him off with a kiss. It’s all teeth and tongue, want and _need_ … But the look in Mark’s eyes when he pulls away is just pure love. His voice is breathless. “I want it too, Wardo, _god_ …”

 

They are distracted for a few moments by the slickness of each other’s mouths. It feels so _intimate,_ so close that he really can’t be blamed when he feels his heartbeat speed up. Mark is letting out these breathy little gasps in-between kisses, and Eduardo’s heart feels like it’s in his throat. But then Mark moves just a little, and Eduardo can feel he’s hard through his boxer-briefs, and it reminds them of what’s coming next. Eduardo makes a keening sound between them, and then Mark pulls back, slicks himself up, and is angling himself to push in. 

 

He looks up at Eduardo just before he does so. "I love you," he confesses, out of breath but matter-of-fact, the way Eduardo always believes it most. 

 

"Love you too," he replies, unable to help the sappy, contented smile he knows has taken over his face. The corners of Mark's lips turn upwards like a reflex, and then he's pushing in. 

 

Eduardo groans, because it feels _so damn good_ , and when he wraps his legs around Mark’s waist he can feel him shaking, braced above him and looking just as close as Eduardo is. 

 

"Move, Mark, _please_ ," Eduardo manages, higher and less composed than he'd like. Mark nods twice, short, and begins thrusting into him shallowly. 

 

It's perfect. Everything about it... The feel of it is different of course, but that isn't what Eduardo loves most, by far. 

 

He savors the sounds Mark makes above him, and when he bottoms out and kisses Eduardo like there is nothing else in the world, and cherishes the recurring thought that _Mark is inside him_ and there is nothing separating them, as close as two people can be. But most of all he loves what it means: _I love you; I want to give myself to you forever._

 

Neither of them last very long. Mark comes first, with a cry that isn't quite muffled by Eduardo's lips over his. He continues to thrust through it, but the rhythm is a little stuttered. Eduardo reaches out and touches Mark’s face as he comes, just a soft press of fingertips on cheekbone, because he’s gorgeous, _so,_ so gorgeous and Eduardo’s heart swells in its chest. When Mark comes back to himself a moment later, Eduardo is begging him, "Mark, touch me, please, _please_." 

 

Mark gets a hand on his dick and continues to push into Eduardo even though he's still in the aftershocks and must be oversensitive. Mark nails his prostate once, and then again and again, unrelenting, and then twists his wrist. 

 

Eduardo comes so hard he squeezes his eyes closed and screams silently, arching his back and digging his heels into Mark’s back. He feels on fire from the inside, can feel it all the way in his spine, can feel his toes curl and sees fireworks behind his eyelids.

 

It’s so intense that he loses track of things; he doesn’t feel Mark pulling out or the weight shift on the bed. The first thing he notices when his breathing slows is Mark cleaning him up with a warm washcloth, pressing soft, comforting kisses along Eduardo’s neck and jaw line, murmuring things Eduardo can’t make out but make him feel loved all the same. 

 

When Mark looks up at him, the look is so unmistakably _tender_ , the way Mark is usually so hesitant to let himself be, and Eduardo can’t help but smile, slow and dreamy. “I think you broke me,” he says, half a mumble. 

 

Mark’s expression breaks out into a grin and he laughs, completely unguarded, and then nods against Eduardo’s chest. “Yes, that was my plan exactly.”

 

And now Eduardo laughs too, and exhales, spent. “Hey,” he murmurs, reaching out to tilt up Mark’s chin. “Love you,” he says, again, because it’s so deeply true that he can feel it in his bones, and he just wants to say it all the time. 

 

“You said that already,” Mark says, rolling his eyes fondly, not letting himself give into the sappiness just yet. 

 

Eduardo sits up so that Mark has to shift too, and he cradles Mark’s head in his hands, their lips close but not touching. “Doesn’t make it less true,” he admits, shaking his head, painfully honest. Mark smiles, and Eduardo feels himself just melt. “I can’t _wait_ to marry you,” he says, and if his voice is broken and if his eyes are filling with tears so what, he’ll blame it on the post-orgasm bliss. 

 

But Mark must be able to sense the sincerity there, because his eyes well up just a little, and he tugs Eduardo in, presses one sweet kiss to his lips and then wraps his arms around him, tucking his face into Eduardo’s neck and breathing him in. It’s so quiet that Eduardo almost misses it, but in the stillness of the room— _their_ bedroom, on Hayden’s first birthday and on the night Mark’s proposed, a night Eduardo won’t forget as long as he lives—he hears it. 

 

“Me too,” Mark murmurs into his skin. 

 

When they fall asleep, Eduardo twines himself around Mark and clasps their hands together, and even in the darkness he can see the silver glow of their rings right next to each other.  
*  
They tell people slowly, starting about two weeks after their official engagement, letting themselves revel in the newness for a while. 

 

Chris and Dustin are first, and they both get kind of misty and pull them into a bone-crushing group hug. In a voice that is more fond than stern, Chris calls them both idiots, and then Dustin wails dramatically, “ _I_ couldn’t let it die, _noooooooooo_ I, knew it would survive! The dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeam is stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllll alive!” which makes them all laugh. 

 

Mark pretends to be annoyed afterwards, but wraps an arm around Eduardo’s waist and tucks him into his side. “Eighties power ballads are not applicable for every stage in our lives.” 

 

Dustin acts shocked and personally offended. “Wilson Phillips was nineties, Mark, and fuck you, don’t pretend you didn’t know that!” 

 

When they tell Aubrey, she isn’t surprised in the least, but they can’t tell if it’s because Dustin can’t keep his mouth shut or just because of her characteristic levelheadedness. “Um, _duh_ ,” she says, looking like she’s trying hard to keep from rolling her eyes. “Hello, you two are perfect for each other and all.”

 

Eduardo just has to hug her for that, even though she squirms and tries to get out of it. However, he’s not having any of that, and when he finally gets his arms around her she huffs out a breath. 

 

“ _Fine_ , just this once, and only for thirty seconds,” Aubrey bargains, and Eduardo doesn’t have to see to know that her face is contorted into a grimace. Sometimes she still really does remind him of Mark, much to Dustin’s dismay. 

 

He laughs as he lets her go, and Mark stands there awkwardly with his hands in his pockets for a moment before shrugging and saying, “Alright, but don’t get any ideas,” reaching for her. 

 

“Not you _too_!” Aubrey wails despairingly as she and Mark hug. “I thought you were supposed to be the sensible one, and now here you are getting _feelings_ all over everything.”

 

Mark and Eduardo chuckle at the same time as she pulls away, gathering up her things and heading to leave. “Ugh, just when I thought you two couldn’t be any more nauseating.” 

 

Next they tell Mark’s mother and father. They have them on speakerphone, and when Mark announces it, the way his mother squeals makes them both wince. After the initial scream, she sounds choked up. “Oh, you boys, I’m just so happy for both of you.”

 

Even Mark’s father sounds a little gruff, like he’s trying to cover up his own emotions. “That’s great, you two,” he says, sniffling a little. Mark rolls his eyes, but Eduardo thanks them both and secretly thinks they’re the best. 

 

Breaking the news to Celia is by far the hardest part. Eduardo works it into one of their normal, weekly calls, and the news comes out a bit falteringly. 

 

He can’t help but feel immensely nervous in her silence afterwards. Eduardo doesn't quite know _why_ he's nervous about it. He has no idea how she’s going react: anger, coldness, happiness… they’re all possible. The two of them had been civil at Hayden's birthday party, if a little cautious around each other, not nearly as chummy as they were that one spring break in New York.

 

But he thinks that it makes sense that they're like that, after everything that's happened. Celia is a little more protective, Mark has a little more to prove—to live up to. 

 

“Celia?” he finally asks, unable to hold in his curiosity any longer. 

 

She clears her throat on the other end and then replies, “I’m so glad, _irmão_ ,” and it sounds _real._ Eduardo lets out a whoosh of breath. Her voice is a little smaller when she continues, “I can tell he makes you _so_ happy,” and Eduardo feels himself go warm all over. **(brother)**

 

So yes, all the reactions are great, but _that_ one was better than he ever dared hope. 

 

He assumes that Celia tells his parents, but he sends them an email anyway, informing them of his engagement and that they will be sending a save the date soon. It's a lot harder than he thought it would be, to be assertive without giving into his weaker side and trying to start a fight. He reads it over about 12 times, tweaking this and that until he is finally satisfied with it, and then calls Celia and reads it to her over the phone for a second opinion, which leads to even more reworking.

 

Eventually he sends it off, and then there is a period of about five days when he checks his email every time he gets a chance, so much so that it's starting to look like a nervous tic. He puts his foot down after that though, because the endless checking and inevitable disappointment is driving him crazy.

 

He gets back on his regular schedule, which is good, because it means he only has to get his hopes up and be let down twice a day, three times at most.

 

It sneaks up on him when, about three weeks after the email was sent, that he realizes he's somehow made peace with it all. The nervous butterflies in his stomach aren't there when he opens his email anymore, and his gut doesn't plunge when he doesn't see their name in the inbox. When he really thinks about it, he figures out that he hasn't stopped hoping, he's just stopped _expecting_. It may not seem like much, but in fact, there is a huge difference.

 

Furthermore, he's got enough approval to make his head spin. Celia, the closest link he has to his family at the moment, approves heartily, and he's got the approval of the two other current maternal figures in his life: Mrs. Valencia and Mrs. Zuckerberg. Not to mention the fact that all his friends and coworkers are standing behind him, and hell, as soon as he and Mark start wearing their rings out in public, the media and then the _whole country_ are supporting them, even calling them an "epic, unconventional love story". (Chris is beyond pleased with the public's reaction, though he is more than a little dismayed that they just start wearing their rings as their way of announcing it instead of making a statement or doing an interview. Frankly, Eduardo is fine with it; those things are _exhausting_ and there are more important things in his life than catering to shareholders and nosy gossips.)

 

The downside of all this is that now that everyone knows, the wedding planning has to actually start. At first, he and Mark assume that they'll be able to handle it since they're on the same page with everything: small wedding, outside but somewhere private, Chris and Dustin as the wedding party.

 

However, they had not expected the way it got hijacked. Mark's mom adds a bunch of family names that simply _must_ be there that Mark doesn't even _know_ , Celia insists on inviting a ton family members also, half of whom Eduardo couldn't care less about and the other half he hates, and finally Chris gets hold of the list and tacks on some colleagues that would mortally offended not to be at least invited.

 

There is no way they can anticipate the way the media goes crazy with all of it, declaring them the "wedding of the year" and generating a general curiosity into the whole affair. Seriously, Eduardo's so over it that it isn't even funny anymore. Their wedding has a page on _Facebook_ for crying out loud, set up and run by fans and filled with wild speculation and theories on possible guests and themes and when it will happen. Even that isn't so bad until Eduardo finds out that their page is more popular than the one for the upcoming _royal wedding._ Which is just so crazy he can't even see straight.

 

Finally, when the numbers of potential guests climb to five hundred, Mark puts his foot down. He declares to Celia, Chris, and his mother that he and Eduardo and getting final veto power over everything about the wedding, starting with the guest list. And then, magically, somehow the whole event is able to be trimmed down to a hundred and fifty people. 

 

Despite the success in that, the whole thing has left them both with a certain distaste. Eduardo is really just counting down the days until the event is simply over with and he won’t have to worry about it, and he knows that Mark feels the same way.

 

But every once in a while, he'll have a moment where he'll look at Mark and it will just hit him, out of the blue, that in a couple of months they're going to be married; Mark is going to be his husband. And if that's the end result of all this? It's hard not to look forward to it.

 

Despite the frenzy, the rest of their lives continue on as normal. They're both in a good place at work, they hang out with Chris and Dustin when possible (whose respective relationships are still flourishing), and they hear from their families semi-regularly, with the exception of Eduardo's parents.

 

But the best part of their lives together is, and maybe always will be, Hayden. They watch him grow with a sense of wonder: overjoyed when he starts to walk on his own, relief when he finally gives up his pacifier at eighteen months, exhaustion and sympathy when he starts teething, and worry when he goes through the phase where he tries to put everything in his mouth. They are careful not to spoil him, going out of their way to make sure he has just as many toys as the other kids but no more, and learning not to give in every time he whines, pouts, or cries when he doesn't get his way.

 

But they also never stop reassuring him that he is loved, completely and irrevocably, by both of them, and Jamie too. Eduardo holds true to his promise to tell Hayden all about her, and every other night when it is Eduardo's turn to give the bedtime story she is usually the subject. It still feels bittersweet sometimes, that he gets to be there for all of this when Jamie left them so early, but more often than not it just feels like another part of their life. Eduardo hopes this continues to hold true as Hayden continues to grow up, that he will always think of Jamie as a comforting bedtime tale, watching over him and guiding him from awake to asleep… just another element of their strange little family, never visible but always there.

 

Hayden is the constant in their lives and with him around, time passes quickly. So the wedding is upon them before they know it, and then there are relatives flying in and entertaining to do and all sorts of craziness. 

 

They have the bachelor party two nights before the wedding, just Chris, Dustin, Mark, and Eduardo at their house, complete with pizza, beer, and video games. It’s a true Kirkland throwback night—no one else allowed except Dustin’s proclaimed “Fab Four” (though exceptions are made for Hayden, who hangs out with them until he falls asleep sitting up in Chris’ lap during one of the many rounds of Mario Kart, and is then carried up to bed by Eduardo). 

 

And just like true Kirkland nights were, at about one in the morning the game controllers have been set aside and then they’re all just talking: maybe a little drunk and sentimentally, but still. It feels good. 

 

“Who woulda thunk it,” Dustin says with a goofy smile, picking at the label of his beer bottle. “Who would’ve ever guessed when we were back at Harvard that all that shit would happen to us.” He looks up at them all with easy contentedness, and Chris rolls his eyes at Dustin fondly. 

 

“Yeah, well, who would have guessed during the lawsuit that we’d all eventually be back here,” he counters, which is just as valid. 

 

“And who would have ever thought that it would be _these two_ ,” Dustin declares a little tearfully, gesturing at Mark and Eduardo dramatically, “getting _married_ day after tomorrow?”

 

Chris scoffs and throws a pillow at him. “ _Everyone_ , dumbass. All of Kirkland could see they were pining for each other.” Dustin cackles in response, doubling over. “Besides,” Chris continues unperturbed as he looks at his watch, “at this point, the wedding is tomorrow.” 

 

Mark yawns and shifts closer into Eduardo’s side, easy with affection after the beer. Eduardo blushes too and smiles as Dustin pretends to wipe tears from his cheeks. “It’s just been so _long_ , you guys! We’ve come so _far!_ ” And then, in typical Dustin fashion, he starts to sing, “If you’re lost, you can look, and you will find _me_ , time after time! If you fall, I will catch you, _I will be waiting_ \--”

 

He’s cut off when Mark throws a pillow at him this time. “Shut _up_ , Dustin,” he mumbles. 

 

They all laugh—even Dustin, through his cries of “abuse!”—and Eduardo nestles further into Mark’s embrace, resting his chin on Mark’s shoulder and breathing slowly, the word _tomorrow_ drumming in his veins. 

*

The morning of the wedding, all Eduardo wants is to catch just a couple more minutes of sleep. 

 

He rolls over to blearily squint at the clock, which reads 7:45, before snuggling back under the covers and closing his eyes again. 

 

He's not really asleep at this point—he felt the weight of the bed shift when Mark got up and padded to the bathroom—but he's just barely awake and not ready to commit to it fully yet. So he's just lying in bed with his eyes closed, listening to the shower run in the bathroom and Mark hum something that sounds like one of Dustin's insipid eighties songs (though he would never own up to that if Eduardo were to ask him about it). It's pleasant, warm... Eduardo feels much more relaxed than he has in awhile, especially knowing that Hayden is just downstairs being entertained by the Valencias.

 

But of course, it doesn't last long. Before he knows it there is a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Wardo," Mark whispers. "Wardo, c'mon, you have to get up."

 

Eduardo just buries his head deeper into the pillow and snuffles a little. "Mmph," he replies. "Too early." Full sentences are not an option at this point.

 

Mark chuckles, because if there's anything he appreciates it's the hatred of early mornings. "We have to, it's the big day," he reasons, and Eduardo can hear the smile in his voice.

 

He reaches up for Mark's arm and gives it a tug. "Compromise," he offers. "Five more minutes."

 

Mark sighs a little but he follows, climbing into bed in his boxers and undershirt, propping himself up against the headboard so that his still-wet hair isn't flattened by the pillow. Eduardo twines their fingers together and scoots closer, wrapping himself around Mark. "They won't start without us, I promise," he says, still teasing.

 

Mark laughs, and the sound makes Eduardo's heart stutter a little just like always, so he blinks his eyes open slowly to take in the sight of Mark's true, unguarded smile and his elusive dimples. "Think it's too late to elope?" he asks, playing along.

 

Now it's Eduardo's turn to laugh, as he sits up to be right beside Mark, but making sure to pull the covers along with him. "Your mother would kill you. So would your sisters. So would my sister, _god_ , so would Chris."

 

Mark nods, resigned. "It'll be over soon," he says, reassuring, and Eduardo can't decipher who it’s meant for so he runs a soothing hand down Mark's back, just in case.

 

"Sorry," he says, going for open and reassuring. "I know you must hate this stuff."

 

Mark turns his head to face Eduardo, narrowing his eyes a little. "What stuff?"

 

Eduardo shrugs. "You know, crowds, parties, people, having to dress up... All that stuff."

 

When he chances a look up, Mark is looking at him like he's being purposefully stupid. "Don't be dumb," he says, and it doesn't sound harsh in the least. "I proposed, I wanna marry you, regardless of the fuss. Wardo, _you're worth the fuss_ ," he explains, leaning in closer as he says it, sounding absolutely fervent. 

 

Eduardo goes a little pink; feeling self conscious from having Mark look him straight in the eye and tell him that. "Promise?" he asks quietly, pushing a little bit just because he likes hearing it.

 

Mark rolls his eyes condescendingly in a way that is totally unmeant. "Promise," he agrees, leaning in to kiss Eduardo until they're both a bit more flushed.

 

"Okay, I really do have to get up now," Eduardo pants as they pull away, untangling himself from Mark's embrace. Mark laughs, giving Eduardo's hand a final squeeze.

 

"I love you," he says, sounding so matter of fact and sure about it that Eduardo wants to go right back over there and kiss him again, but then they will _never_ make it on time.

 

So instead he turns in his tracks, pausing at the door to the bathroom. "I love you too," he replies.

 

And yeah, today may be a huge headache in a lot of ways, but Mark is right. Totally worth it.  
*  
From then on things are so busy that they simply don't have time to worry or second guess themselves, which Eduardo supposes is a good thing. They all head off to the venue only ten minutes behind schedule, which is a miraculous occurrence taking into account all the extra people who are in their house getting ready (a large number of which are girls, who take much longer to prepare for this kind of thing than guys do, which they hadn't anticipated).

 

But then they're in the limo and it's just the three of them, the first peaceful moment they've gotten since this morning. Hayden is sitting in Eduardo's lap, pointing out the window with continuous amazement at everything that flies by and alerting them to it urgently. Like, "Day, twees!" (which is supposedly tree) and "Mar, vroom!" (which is Hayden's word for car). They spend the entire ride like that, just watching him and laughing and talking with Hayden, and it smoothes Eduardo's frazzled nerves. However, it seems entirely too soon when the driver stops and gets out, walking around to open the door for them.

 

Eduardo turns to Mark and watches him take a deep breath. He gives him a small smile of solidarity, which Mark returns.

 

"Remind me again why we invited all these people?"

 

Eduardo throws his head back in a full laugh, because _boy_ can he sympathize right now. He knows they have the best of intentions, but really, the whole ordeal is just not his thing.

 

"Believe me, if we could, I'd have the driver marry us right now and then the three of us would be on our way to Disneyland."

 

Now it's Mark's turn to laugh. The driver opens the door, sweeping his hand towards the sidewalk grandly as if the red carpet is awaiting them, which makes Hayden clap his hands and bounce up and down in excitement.

 

But Eduardo turns back to Mark, just for a moment, and lays his hand on top of Mark's on the limo seat. "Still in this?" he asks, low enough that only Mark can hear.

 

Mark grins at him. "Always," he replies, and Eduardo decides that that's the best answer ever.  
*

There's a lot Eduardo won't remember about his wedding after the fact: which guests arrive first and what colors the scarily efficient trio of Mrs. Zuckerberg, Celia, and Chris had finally decided upon. What he says in his vows are a blur, though he remembers Mark's word for word.

 

And that, he thinks, is what counts. He remembers the important things. He won't ever forget watching Hayden walk on his own down the aisle carrying the rings (with Aubrey following close behind just in case), looking so big and so proud of himself. He remembers fondly the way Dustin pretends to lose the rings right before it all starts, and appreciates the way Chris rolls his eyes and punches Dustin lightly on the shoulder for it. He remembers slipping the ring into Mark's finger while he holds back tears, remembers "I do," remembers the kiss, remembers the cheering and clapping as they crush the glass and walk back down the aisle as a newly married couple. And he's positive he won't ever forget the swooping happiness in his stomach in the moment when he realizes that they are _married_ now, _this is it_ , and now he has something that his nineteen year old self wouldn't dare imagine even in his wildest dreams.

 

They both can relax somewhat at the reception, where there are even fewer people. The worst of it is over, so when they enter the ballroom and people are smiling and clapping, Eduardo squeezes Mark's hand a little tighter and smiles back.

 

Hayden sits at the family table, which consists of the Valencia's, Celia, and Mark's parents, with Mark's sisters and their families at the next table over. He’s happy as a lark and social as a butterfly there, though looking over at Mark and Eduardo, who are sitting at the head table, flanked by Chris and Dustin, as if to reassure himself that they are still there.

 

Soon the food starts to arrive, and it's perfect timing because Eduardo couldn't be hungrier. He had barely eaten this morning out of sheer nervousness. Mark had tried the same thing but Eduardo had shot him a steely glare and bullied him into wolfing down some cereal (Cheerios, same as Hayden). It's about this time when one of the security guards—apparently the same ones who work at Facebook, hired with Chris' infinite foresight—head over to their table.

 

He leans down and says in a low voice so just Eduardo (and Mark, but only because he has superhuman hearing) can hear: "Mr. Saverin, there's a couple outside claiming to be your parents, but on the list your parents have been listed as not attending--"

 

Eduardo nods frantically; his stomach feels like it’s going to plummet out of his body, through his feet and crash through the floor. He knows his face must appear puzzled, especially if it looks anything like Mark's right now. Mark arches an eyebrow in his direction, as if to say, _are you okay_?

 

Eduardo shrugs self-deprecatingly, trying to feel humorous about it when really all he feels is a sense of dread. Mark sees right through his façade, as he always does now, and as Eduardo gets up to follow the security guard, he leans down to press a kiss to Mark's forehead before departing.

 

"It'll be fine," he says, trying to be reassuring even though he knows his voice is shaking. Mark gives him a dubious look but silently nods as if he understands.

 

As he walks, he clenches and unclenches his fists at his sides in order to keep them from trembling. The guard escorts him to the doorway, and they slip outside into the discreet, less visible side of the building and there... There are his _parents_.

 

The three of them stand there awkwardly for a handful of moments without saying anything, but Eduardo’s mother seems to lose patience with them both and _tsk_ s as she gets up on her tiptoes to throw her arms around Eduardo. “ _Meu filho, meu filho querido, eu perdi você tanto ... …_ ” she whispers into his ear. Eduardo slowly wraps his arms around her back, trying to convince himself that this is actually _real_. **(My boy, my darling son, I missed you so much...)**

 

“ _Eu perdi você também, mãe_ …” he replies finally, eyes still fixed on his father until his mother pulls back. He works up a tight smile for her and she _beams_ back at him. **(I missed you too, mom…”)**

 

His father clears his throat, and Eduardo’s eyes snap to him as if on instinct, years of childhood training still evident. “We didn’t mean to inconvenience you,” he says, his voice detached as if they are discussing nothing more personal than the weather or the stock market. “Our decision to come was… last minute. We made arrangements with Celia and she kept it secret, we didn’t want to create any more stress for you.”

 

Eduardo nods, and then responds belatedly. “It’s no trouble. I’m—I’m happy you’re here,” he says, feeling honest and trying for a smile. It comes out as more of a grimace until his mother catches his eye, making it morph into something genuine.

 

“We saw the interview on _60 Minutes_ ,” his mother bursts excitedly, as if she was barely holding it in this whole time. “And pictures and… oh Wardo, he makes you so happy, doesn’t he?”

 

Eduardo knows that she means Mark, that this is her way of mending fences, apologizing and showing that they were in the wrong, that they’re going to support him now. “Yeah,” Eduardo sighs, looking back over his shoulder to where Mark is fondly rolling his eyes at Dustin, who is trying (and failing) to get everyone to start up the chorus of _Don’t Stop Believing_. “He does.”

 

Because sometimes, every once in a while, Eduardo’s life is _perfect_ , that’s the moment when Hayden scampers over, arms outstretched and calling, “Day!”, looking flushed and happy and beautiful. Eduardo laughs as he reaches down to pick up his son, who immediately rests his head on Eduardo’s shoulder and starts to suck on his thumb, looking idly curious towards Eduardo’s parents. 

 

“They both do,” Eduardo says softly, amending his earlier statement. He turns to his mother to see her gone all quiet and soft, his father still standing ramrod straight but the expression on his face somewhat warmer, almost gentle. “Meet Hayden,” he says to them, and then turns his face so he’s looking down at Hayden. “Say hello,” he encourages. 

 

Hayden extricates his other arm from behind Eduardo’s neck, pulling it forward to wave at them wordlessly, his mouth still occupied sucking on his thumb. Eduardo sighs a little and gently removes Hayden’s thumb because it’s a nasty habit that will only lead to braces and an oral fixation (which Mark jokingly takes offense to, protesting that he had _both_ and somehow turned out alright). Hayden takes the hint and says shyly, “Hi.”

 

“Hello, _anjo_ ,” his mother murmurs, reaching forward to smooth down Hayden’s hair. Hayden looks warily up at Eduardo, unsure of these new people and this new development, but Eduardo smiles at him slowly, letting him know it’s okay. He tries not to laugh as he thinks of fifteen months ago, talking to Mark again for the second time and stranger anxiety and their faces, and how far everything has come. **(angel)**

 

“Here,” Eduardo says, handing Hayden over to his mother. “Celia’s over there, take Hayden with you. She’s supposed to be watching him anyway.” 

 

They go, his father looking more at ease, even giving Eduardo a pat on the shoulder as they go, his mother kissing him on the cheek before turning her attention back to Hayden, most likely already planning how she can spoil him. 

 

 _It’s still awkward_ , Eduardo thinks. It’s still awkward, but it’s a start, and they can get there.  
*  
It isn't long until everyone's eaten, and then the band is tuning up off to the side of the dance floor. When they're finished, the lead singer steps up to the microphone and tells everyone that it's time for the newlyweds’ first dance.

 

Mark turns to look at Eduardo suspiciously. "I didn't know we were doing this part," he confesses, sounding embarrassed already.

 

Eduardo regards him sweetly, grabbing for his hand and tugging him out onto the dance floor. "Mark, no one actually cares," he says, hoping to make Mark less nervous. It doesn't work; Mark just raises his eyebrows pointedly and gestures vaguely to the wedding photographer, who is already snapping away, taking pictures a mile a minute.

 

Eduardo just rolls his eyes and sighs, pretending to be annoyed, when honestly, today being annoyed with Mark is impossible. "Whatever, fine—just give me this one, I'm pretty sure this is the only time I'm going to be able to get you to dance with me," Eduardo says, pouting just a little for effect.

 

Mark makes a face, but it doesn't last long since his smile wins out quickly. "Fine," he allows, sounding very put upon. Eduardo just laughs and pulls Mark flush against him, taking Mark's hand and entangling it with his own, bringing them up to rest on his chest as they move cheek to cheek.

 

The song is something slow and sweet Eduardo doesn't quite recognize, but as they slowly spin around the room, he doesn't think it matters. He watches the faces that pass them by, takes in the happy, sometimes tearful smiles on their faces. He feels Mark's heartbeat against his chest, the slight squeeze Mark gives their hands, which makes his grin spread even wider. He closes his eyes just for a second and breathes the moment in, lets himself be—because he wants to remember this.

 

It doesn't last long. He opens his eyes and there is Hayden clumsily running out to them yet again, arms wide and smile huge, calling, "Day! Mar!", wanting in on the moment. 

 

Out in the crowd, Celia is shooting him an apologetic look and mouthing _sorry_ , but Eduardo just laughs, because in all honestly, it couldn't be more perfect. He and Mark have stopped swaying by now and Hayden is pulling on Eduardo's pants leg insistently, " _Up_ , up!"

 

 _So maybe it isn't the typical first dance_ , he thinks as he hears Mark's bright, true laugh as Eduardo leans down to pick up Hayden. He situates his son on his hip so he’s sandwiched between them, and they finish the song all smiles, giggles, and happy tears, swaying back and forth in a clump of three.

 

Eduardo thinks about the word _family_ and what it means, about _expectations_ and _surprise_ and about _change_. He's had his fair share of all of it in the past two years, and he's ended up _here_ , surrounded by Hayden and Mark, the two people he loves most in the entire world.

 

 _No_ , Eduardo thinks again as the final notes of the song play out, this isn't what he had pictured two years and a handful of months ago, groggily answering Jamie’s phone call in the middle of the night. Then Mark whispers in Hayden's ear and Hayden giggles, nodding, and they both lean in and kiss Eduardo on the cheek. Eduardo can't help thinking: _it's so much better._

 

 _the end_  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fanmix, notes, and extras [here](http://serenatechair.livejournal.com/8163.html)


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